I don’t own Futurama, or its characters.
Michelle Strikes Back: Episode III PE’s Angels
Futurama Main Title Theme
“Doesn’t Get Soggy in Milk (Except on Earth)”
Wonder Woman Cartoon
(This takes place almost a year since the events of St. Valentine’s Day Disaster. And it is just one day shy away
from the one year anniversary of the episode “The Devil’s Hands Are Idle Playthings” when Leela saw Fry’s
ending to his opera. I’m hoping to do fanfiction that takes place between the two episodes I’ve done.)
(Scene. It is nightfall in NNY and we see the PE building and it is being watched by a shadowy figure and this
figure has company.)
Shadowy Figure 1: This is the place.
Shadowy Figure 2: What, we doing here on Earth?
SF1: We are planning a visit to some old friends.
SF3: Leader won’t like we left home planet to come here.
SF1: Let your leader be mad, she’s not mine, but soon we all shall be leaders.
(Next Scene. Morning it is at Robot Arms Hotel. Fry is waking up Bender, so they won’t be late for work.)
Fry: (shaking Bender) Wake up, Bender.
Bender: What? There better be some good reason to wake up or I’ll punch you.
Fry: We are going to be late for work.
(Bender punches Fry in the face, knocking him down. Fry just gets back up and rubs his face.)
Fry: Come on Bender, it’s Amy’s turn to car pool and she’ll be here in five minutes.
Bender: (sleepy) All, right I get up! (Opens his chest and pushes his “Up and Atom Button” and he’s wide awake.
Just then there is a knock at the door and it is Amy.)
Amy: (Mad) Alright you two, lets hurry and head for work, I don’t want to be late again.
Fry: Don’t worry Amy, I don’t want to be late this time.
Bender: Why not?
Fry: It will be the one year anniversary tomorrow that Leela and me became a couple.
Amy: What do you both plan on doing?
Fry: We’ll have dinner and I plan to give her this. (Shows diamond scrunchie)
Amy: Wow, that is good.
Bender: Yeah, I’d sure steal that gift from you.
Fry: Thanks you guys, I’m hoping this will make Leela say that line, I’ve been waiting for, “I love you, Fry”.
Amy: Fry, she loves you.
Fry: I know, but I’m hoping she’ll love me just as much as I love her. I’ve always said I loved her, but she would
often say, “That’s very sweet, Fry” or something else, but never “I love you, Fry.” I’m hoping that our one year
anniversary will make her feel about me like I’ve always felt about her.
Amy: This year has been one wild one.
Bender: yeah, one crazy adventure after another.
Fry: Even though we’ve had a rough year, I’m glad that Leela is still as kind and nice.
(Cut to Leela crossing the street and nearly being run over by Sal.)
Leela: Watch it, jackass!
Sal: Hey, why don’t youse looks where youse going? Youse women are always thinking youse own the streets.
Leela: Men, why are they always jerks?
(She passes by a store and she’s a man clerk helping a woman try on a dress and pats her in the butt. Leela just
gives a disapproval expression. As she heads towards the PE building she runs into Hermes.)
Leela: Hey Hermes.
Hermes: Leela, it is a pleasure seeing you, now we can talk for the next few minutes until we reach the Planet
Express building. So, how’s your relationship with Fry?
Leela: Hermes, why is everybody always asking about my relationship with Fry? I like Fry and we’ve been dating
for almost a year.
Hermes: Have you two planned for anything tomorrow?
Leela: Just a dinner. You know it is funny, I’ve been involved with a bunch of jerks in the pass, Shawn, Alcazar
Zapp, and Adlai but had it not been for Fry, I might have given up on men.
Hermes: Yeah, well just don’t let your relationship interfere with your job,
(As they passed a corner they are confronted by women from the planet Amazonia.)
Hermes: Sweet Lion of Zion, who are these women?
Leela: They’re Amazonian warriors, but why are they here?
Blonde Amazonian: Get them.
(They begin to attack and Leela uses her martial arts and takes down a few of them, while Hermes ducks and
covers in the trash.)
Leela: Hermes, can’t you help me?
Hermes: No, the company doesn’t cover fighting with Amazonian warriors.
(Leela just gives an angry expression. Just then the Shadowy Figure’s voice is spoken.)
Shadowy Figure: Ladies stop, that is not why I sent you to follow her.
(They are stop and look at the SF and Leela gasps to see that it is Michelle, now with Amazonian clothing.)
Leela: Michelle!? What are doing here? I haven’t seen you since Valentine’s Day.
Michelle: Oh don’t worry where I’ve been, just worry on what I plan on doing.
(Throws what looks like a smoke bomb, the Amazonians move out the way as the smoke covers Leela and Hermes.
You can hear them coughing. While Michelle and her henchwomen exit. When the smoke clears, Leela appears to
Leela: What was that about? Hermes, let’s just get to work. [pauses] Hermes!
(Sees Hermes lying down and he appears to be ill and he’s turn pale with pink spots on him.)
(Cut to PE building. Leela managed to carry Hermes to go see Dr. Zoidberg and the Professor.)
Zoidberg: Now, let me take a look at the patient. (Inspects Leela)
Leela: Not me moron, Hermes.
Zoidberg: Alright, Alright. (Places stick in Hermes mouth and goes Hmm.)
Professor: Now, you are saying that Fry’s Ex attacked you and you and Hermes inhaled some type of gas and you
are completely fine.
Leela: Yeah, if Michelle was out for revenge why didn’t the gas hurt me?
Professor: Will find out soon enough.
(Enter Amy, Fry and Bender.)
Fry: Hi Leela, what is wrong with Hermes?
Leela: He’s sick, Fry Michelle is back and this time she has Amazonian warriors with her.
(Amy, Bender and Fry gasp)
Leela: She threw some gas at Hermes and me and now he’s come down with something.
Fry: Are you okay?
Leela: I’m perfectly fine, but Hermes isn’t.
Amy: You know with her never calling me to say hello and now her getting Hermes sick, I’m starting to think
Michelle isn’t a good friend. (Everybody just stares at Amy)
Leela: Michelle must be planning something, but we have to go to Planet Amazonia for clues.
Bender: Whoa, count me out, I can’t risk bumping into that femputer, I promised I’d be one of those lousy guys
who actually call back, but I ended up just being a man and never doing it.
(Leela gets gives a mean look at what Bender had just said.)
Leela: Look, we have to investigate this.
Fry: I’ll go with you Leela.
Leela: That’s good, Amy you and Bender will have to stay and help the Professor treat Hermes.
Bender: I’ll just do half of that.
Leela: [to fry] come fry we’ve haven’t a moment to lose.
(Cut to the ship leaving out of the PE build with the Professor and Amy waving good-bye and Bender just drinking.
Zoidberg then enters.)
Zoidberg: Professor look at this. (Shows his left claw and this is a pinkish powder on it.)
Amy: Kew! What is that?
Zoidberg: I scraped this off of Hermes.
Professor: Left me see. [touches the powder and looks at it] Hmm I’d better take a closer look in my lab.
(Cut to PE ship landing in Planet Amazonia. Leela and Fry exit the ship and head to the temple where the
femputer lives. As they walk up the stairs they meet two guards.)
Guard: Who goes there?
Guard2: Hey isn’t that man we had snu snu before? [to fry] have you’ve come back for more snu snu?
Fry: [flattered] well actually...(Leela elbows him) ....no.
Leela: We’ve come to see your leader.
Guard: Okay you may pass.
(Our heroes enter the temple and see the femputer.)
Femputer: Halt, who goes there? Femputer demands to know.
Leela: Hello, I’m Leela and this if Fry, we’ve been on your planet before.
Femputer: Aw yeas I remember, say is that robot with you, I wonder why he hasn’t called me yet?
Fry: Ahh he’s been busy.
Leela: Look, a couple of your warriors came to Earth and made one of my friends sick and they were led by a
woman from our planet.
Femputer: Oh it is just as I feared, I’ve have noticed few of the warriors have been missing, this Michelle is one of
our new sisters.
(Leela and Fry gasps.)
Femputer: She came to our planet a while back and said she had, had enough of the 30th century. It is filled with
lousy men and since our society hates men, we welcomed her. (Flashback of Michelle being trained in Amazonian
combat.) We trained her to fight, and live like a true Amazonian and she became a fellow sister. We all felt good
that we were helping her at her time of need, but I feared that all we did was to fuel her anger at the men of 30th
Fry: Why would she be mad at all men, wouldn’t she be just mad at me for not taking her back?
Femputer: I don’t know what made her so mad, she never told us, she’d prefer to keep it to herself.
Leela: Do you know how we can help my sick friend?
Femputer: What are is symptoms?
Fry: He’s turning white with pink spots on him.
Femputer: What you are saying is sort of similar, but I need time to think, but right now I think you’d better get
back to earth and help your friend.
Leela: Well thanks femputer.
Femputer: And oh please tell that handsome robot hello for me.
(Cut to PE ship heading back to earth)
Fry: Well, I guess this puts a damper on our anniversary.
Leela: Yeah, well the important thing is to help one of our friends when he’s in trouble.
Fry: You seem angry.
Leela: I wanted to tell femputer that Bender stood her up, but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
Fry: I understand.
Leela: Do you? Bender said what he’s doing is what all men would do.
Fry: Not all men. I’d certainly never do it to you esp. on our anniversary. I want to make this first anniversary very
special because I love you.
Leela: Oh Fry I-I-I (Fry’s eye open up) I...[buzzing] I think we have a message.
Fry: (disappointed) Oh
Leela: (answering communicator) Hello, what is it?
Amy: (on communicator) You guys come to Earth quick, it is horrible.
Leela: What, what’s happening?
Amy: It’s terrible the Professor, Scruffy, Nibbler, and to lesser extent Bender, Zoidberg and Cubert are all sick and
they have the same symptoms as Hermes. And I just heard that half the city is coming down with the illness.
(By this time the PE ship has entered the Earth’s atmosphere and Fry and Leela can see the city suffering from
fires and chaos. Ambulances and fire trucks are all over the place. They see a female EMT helping a motorist who
been infected. A female firefighter is helping a man who passed out on the street.)
Leela: Amy, half the town is infected...the male half.
Fry: What do you mean?
Leela: That disease must only infect men. Michelle must be planning on infecting the whole city.
Fry: But why would see be trying to get all men sick? Just because I refused to take her back?
Leela: I’m not sure it is just you she’s mad at, something must’ve really pissed her off to get her to do this.
(Just then a the Nimbus is flying very low and Leela tries to signal.)
Leela: Attention Nimbus, you are flying dangerously low. (Turns on tv communicator and sees Kif and Zapp
infected and they barely hit the PE ship as it crashes to earth, but the Nimbus managed to scarp parts of the PE
ship causing it to crash not very far from the PE building.)
Leela: Come on Fry lets hurry.
Fry: Just a second. (We see the ship through his eyes and everything is getting blurring. He shakes it off and heads
out the ship with Leela. They begin to walk down the street and Fry just falls down to his knees, Leela walks up to
Leela: Fry, what is wrong?
Fry: (Sweating) I feel dizzy and very tired...I (falls to his head and turns pale and begins to show spots)
Leela: Fry! No!
(Cut to Leela racing into PE building carrying Fry.)
Leela: Amy! Amy! Where are you?
(Just then Amy falls out of the office closet tied and gagged. Leela help untie her.)
Leela: Amy, what happened?
Amy: Michelle and a few Amazonian women came and they stuffed me into the closet and they said, “Sorry sister,
but it is for your own good.” Some friend. Oh no Fry’s sick, too?
Leela: I’ll check the patients. (She goes into the Professors lab and there they were. Hermes, Bender, Cubert,
Professor, Zoidberg, Scruffy and Nibbler all in comas and in comes Amy dragging Fry.)
Amy: We better make room for one more.
OS Voice: Make that two more. (Amy and Leela stare in the direction and it is Labarbara carrying Dwight.)
Labarbara: My little Dwight, he come down with this epidemic that is going around and the hospitals are all full.
Leela: It is good that you are here, come girls we have to see why Michelle was here.
(They all head to the Professor’s upstairs lab and they gasps.)
Leela: The Professor’s Smell-o-scope in missing.
Amy: And so is the manual on how to use and alter it.
Leela: Why would she take that? Come we’ve got to get back to the ship.
Labarbara: What about my Hermes and Dwight?
Leela: We can’t help them if we don’t get all the information about all this.
(Cut to the ship and Amy has just finished making repairs on it.)
Amy: (Taking off a pair of goggles.) Well, that should do it.
Leela: Come on lets go.
Labarbara: Go where?
Leela: Back to Planet Amazonia and to find Michelle. My guess is that she’s back there.
(They blast off and as they leave they see female firefighters putting out a fire and female EMT’s helping a sick
man into an ambulance.)
Leela: Wow, if only men could see how well us women handle, things.
Amy: Spluh, Leela even if men were able to see, they’d still wouldn’t be impress.
Leela: You’re probably right, why can’t men be more respective to women.
Amy: Not all men are like that Leela.
Leela: Yeah well, I starting to think that Fry might be that way.
Leela: All he planned for our anniversary is just dinner, for once I wish he took things seriously and realize how
important things are. He can be romantic, but I wish he planned for something better than just dinner at Elzar’s.
Amy: He does, not that it matters now, but he was planning on giving you a diamond scrunchie tomorrow to show
that he cares about his new relationship with you.
Leela: A diamond scrunchie, he knows I’ve always wanted one. He told you?
Amy: Yes, and if you tell him I told you, I’ll lie like a dog.
Leela: Fair enough, wow I owe Fry more credit. Well we must focus on trying to get to bottom of this or it won’t
(Cut to them already landing and now the three women are talking to femputer.)
Femputer: I manage to find out about the illness. Centuries ago our ancestors learned of a flower that grew deep in
the jungles. The Pink Man Sick flower or PMS flower as it is referred to. The flower has this pink pollen that
somehow caused men to feel ill, by attacking there y chromosomes and y computer chips that are in every male
robot. Women of all kinds are unaffected since they don’t have y chromosomes or y computer chips. The disease is
very contagious and it doesn’t take much time for infection to occur, once a man breathes it in.
Leela: Well, that explains why only the males have gotten sick, but why is Michelle doing this?
Femputer: I believe she plans on wiping all men off the face of the universe.
Amy: Wouldn’t that take forever to infect all those planets.
Leela: Wait a minute, she stole the Smell-o-scope. If she somehow altered it, I bet she’ll use it to infect the rest of
Labarbara: We’ve got to put a stop to this.
Leela: Yes we do. Femputer is there a cure to this disease.
Femputer: Why yes, the cure can be found.....(She is shut down. Leela, Amy and Labarbara look around and there
stood Michelle with unplugged plug and with her a group of Amazonian warriors.)
Leela: Michelle, what are you doing?
Michelle: I plan on ridding the universe of the oppressive men of 30th century and allowing womankind to stand
up. Are you in?
Leela: Not, if it means killing all men.
Michelle: Well tough, I managed to reroute the Smell-o-scope and instead of smelling odors from great distances,
you can send orders to great distances and once I transmit the PMS pollen into the space, men all over the universe
will be gone.
Leela: That is horrible, why are you doing this? Does Fry mean that much to you?
Michelle: This has nothing to do with Fry, it is because of what happened that Valentine’s Day night.
Zapp: Hey Michelle, that was wonderful.
(Michelle screams much like Leela did, when she was in this situation.)
(Leela, Amy and Labarbara just gasp)
Amy: Gleesh, you mean you slept with Zapp, just like ....(Leela stops her from saying her name.)
Leela: Look, I know that Zapp is horrible, but you shouldn’t take it out on all men.
Michelle: Zapp represents all the men in the 30th century. Come on Leela, Fry told me that you’ve gone out with a
bunch of lousy men, he didn’t give me any names, but you must agree that all men in this century are horrible. Join
me and help rid the universe of them.
(Leela begins to think of all the losers she had dated.)
Leela: No, I’d never help you, sure most men are complete jerks, but that doesn’t give anyone the right to
exterminate them, and by the way, I may dated lousy men, but there is only one man who has treated me right and
that is Fry. You had your chance, but failed and I love Fry and I’d never let anyone or anything harm him.
(Amy and Labarbara are shocked and amazed and Michelle just gives a mean look.)
Michelle: So if you three won’t join me, then you won’t stop me from getting rid of all men. Amazonians get them.
(Amazonian warriors surround the three women, Leela Amy and Labarbara get into fighting stances.)
Leela: Labarbara, can you handle this?
Labarbara: Are you kidding? You’re looking at a three time kick boxing champion.
Amy: We didn’t know you were a champion kick boxer.
Labarbara: You people have never asked me.
Leela: Well, we are three women who each know martial arts. Let’s kick some ass.
(Cut to a parody opening sequence of “Charlie Angel’s” complete with theme song. They do that fighting stance
with Leela in the middle, Amy to the right and Labarbara to the left. The warriors attack and PE women start to
kick Amazonian butt. Leela notices Michelle escaping to the roof.)
Leela: Amy, Labarbara, can you two handle this while I stop Michelle?
Amy and Labarbara: Yes.
(Leela races after Michelle and she reaches the roof with Michelle starting to work on the Smell-o-scope.)
Leela: Stop, Michelle you don’t know what you are doing?
Michelle: Yes, I know what I’m doing. Zapp was the final straw, you wouldn’t understand.
Leela: Yes, I do. (Tries to fight the urge of admitting.) I’ve slept with Zapp!
(Michelle freezes stopping her finger from pushing the button that will send the PMS pollen to a planet.)
Michelle: Did you say what I thought you said?
Leela: (embarrassed) Yes, I’ve slept with him.
Michelle: You are lying!
Leela: I wish I was, Oh God I wish I was.
Michelle: When did this happen?
Leela: It was a long story and I don’t want to talk about it.
Michelle: You’d better. (Begins to touch the button.)
Leela: Alright I’ll tell.
(Cut to Amy and Labarbara having tied up all the warriors.)
Amy: I hope Leela, can deal with Michelle by herself.
(Cut back to Michelle and Leela.)
Michelle: Wow, I never knew what you’ve been through. I thought I had it rough.
Leela: Yeah, well I wish I was you, I mean you can tell people that you slept with Zapp because you were under the
affects of the love ray, but I actually felt sorry for the big gorilla.
Michelle: You know Leela, when you put it that way, you should be trying to push the button.
Leela: Yeah well, even though most men will treat us as if we are below them, we have to put up with it and
remember they are all idiots.
Michelle: Well, I guess you’re right. Look Leela, I want to apologize for all the bad things I’ve done, I guess I was
jealous and I think I did over react.
Leela: Yeah maybe a little.
Michelle: Leela, if you help me turn on Femputer, I think I can help your friends and all the men who are infected.
Leela: You know where the cure is?
Michelle: Yeah, I was going to burn all the flowers that had the pollen antidote, but I didn’t get around to doing it.
Leela: That is good. [pauses] Friends?
Michelle: Friends. (Both smile and shake hands.)
(Cut to PE building the next day and everybody’s there. All the men are back to normal and Michelle is there.)
Professor: Good work Leela. The cure you gave us really did the trick. (All the other guys agree.)
Bender: Just don’t expect me to be nicer to you.
Leela: Thanks guys, but also thank Amy and Labarbara and my new friend, Michelle.
Fry: Yeah thanks Michelle, and we forgive you for all you’ve done.
Michelle: Thanks Fry. (Hugs Fry and then turns to Amy.)
Michelle: [to Amy] I lost my apt. since I’ve been away from Earth, you think you can help me find a new place to
Amy: You got my name right. (Has tears in her eyes.)
(Cut to inside PE ship and Leela enters and meets with Fry.)
Leela: What did you want to show me, Fry?
Fry: This. (Gives her a box and Leela opens the box.)
Leela: Fry, it’s a diamond scrunchie, I’ve always wanted this.
Fry: I know, I wanted to show you how much I loved you. Happy Anniversary, Leela.
Leela: Oh Fry I-I-I...love you. I love you, Fry (Hugs Fry and Fry with a smile on his face thinking “yes, she finally
said it.” The camera then pans to the window with Bender looking on.)
Bender: [laughs] Well, it’s about damn time. (Drinks beer bottle, he’s holding.)
Well that is it. Hope this was worth you time.