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Minds Apart 2 by AstroZombie and Paul A Metcalfe

Previously On Futurama - Minds Apart (a fanfic by Andy and Paul - Not affiliated in any way with FOX! - “Thank Goodness”)

After an accident involving Fry, Leela and one of the Professors inventions our hapless duo woke up to find themselves in each others bodies.

Having decided to try and hide this fact to from the others until they can figure out how to swap back they now find themselves having to deliver a crate to Zapp Brannigans ship “The Nimbus”, where Fry experiences Zapp's obsession with Leela First hand!!

Note to newbies to this fic and people with minds like sieves (I mean its only been like 6 months since Part 1 came out!).

Frys mind in Leela's body is referred to as 'Fry/Leela' and therefore Leela in Fry's body is 'Leela/Fry'. Simple!

Now go read the fic already !!

Minds Apart - Part II

"God I hate that man sooooooo much!" muttered Leela/Fry as she made her way over to the ships exterior cargo hatch release.

“And to think I actually slept with him!” She thought, shuddering involuntarily, as she remembered one event in her past she wished had never happened.

"What's yanking your chain meatball?" asked Bender, who was walking under the cargo hatch, "Worried that General Girdle Gut will put you to shame and get Leela in the sack again?" he continued.

Leela/Fry eyed Bender sternly and flicked the hatch release catch.

"WHAT THE…!" yelled Bender as the cargo hatch swung down, caught him by the antenna and threw him across the room.

The crate slid off the cargo hatch with a thud.

Bender’s head came to rest a short distance away from his body, which got up and flailed about madly.

"Hey!" yelled Bender's head "My ass is busted!"

"Really?" replied Leela/Fry dryly "I never knew you were that way inclined, now come on, quit yer belly aching and lets get this unloaded!"

"You know something Fry!" spat Bender as he screwed his head back on and walked over to Leela/Fry, "You’re beginning to sound like more like Leela everyday! I mean before when you used to talk about her all the time; "Leela's great…Leela's soooo cute… she's sooo clever"…that I could handle, but now your beginning to act like a freaking obsessive, so either you cut the crap and start acting like yourself again or I tell Leela about your…"

"Porn stash?" said Leela/Fry desperately trying to come up with a Fry like answer.

"No!" said Bender, his voice gaining a dark menacing edge, "something worse… your poetry about her!"

"His what!" stammered Leela/Fry, caught off guard by this unexpected turn of events.

"Yeah, don’t try and act all innocent and deny it, I found your notepad stuffed down the back of the couch when I was raiding your room for cash one day" said Bender.

"I…I…" stuttered Leela/Fry.

"OK lets see if this jogs your memory then Fry", said Bender before putting on a Fry-like voice

"Oh lovely Leela you are my life, why wont you be my wife?"

"Why did you go with Zapp when he's a complete dork?"

"You never seem to trust me, always watching me like a hawk!"

"You're always there when I need you, even though I ain't got a clue!"

"You've saved my life so many times, damn I hope this rhymes!"

"Oh wait the next bits a doozy, I cant wait till I tell Leela this bit", said Bender with a malicious laugh, before continuing, with his mock Fry impression

"What do I have to do to prove how much I love you!"


Leela/Fry stood there, speechless.

"Yeah, you think about that, Mr. Shakestupid! Now where's the crate going?" said Bender lighting up a cigar and lifting the somewhat, splintered crate up with the hover dolly.

Leela/Fry pointed the way, dumbfounded.

“He writes poetry about me?” Was the only thought in her head at that moment. “OK its not very good poetry but its sooo sweet.”

Leela/Fry wandered off after bender, a slight dazed smile on his face.


“So Kif, I can’t wait to see your quarters,” said Amy as they walked hand-in-hand through the corridors of The Nimbus.

“Why? There isn’t much to it”, answered Kif.

“Well, it’s the first time I’ve been on board a military vessel, and I’ve often dreamt of how you live”

“It’s not much of a life, taking commands from a buffoon, and.. Oh, here we are at the door now”, he said as he reached out and pressed the panel to open it.

Before the door had fully opened, Amy shot into the room.

“It’s a bit on the small side, and there’s only a single bunk”, she said disappointedly.

“If you think that’s bad, I’m right underneath Zapp’s quarters, and that can get noisy, especially when he’s entertaining a guest”, he replied, remembering the night Zapp ensnared Leela.

“That’ll mean we can’t have a quiet time together, if Leela err Fry and Bender are storing Zapp’s new bed in there”

“You okay, Amy?” asked a concerned Kif


“I thought you said Leela originally and then quickly changed it to Fry”

“Err, I only remember saying Fry and Bender” quickly lied Amy and turned to look out of the porthole, so Kif wouldn’t notice her cheeks turning red.

“Okay, I guess it’s me who is nervous”

“You’re not still nervous about being alone with me are you?”

“Y-Y-Yes, I am” he said as he sat down on his bed, his head falling into his hand so that Amy wouldn’t see how embarrassed he was.

“That explains why you never shut the door behind you then, unless you leave it open all the time” she replied with a mischievous look on her face.

“Yes, that’s why”, came the muffled response

Amy turned away from the porthole and looked at him, realizing for the first time just how nervous he was being alone with her.

“Aww he really is nervous about being alone with me, I’ll have to make him feel more comfortable”

As she walked past him towards the only free space on his bed, the various newspaper clippings pasted onto the wall, showing their first meeting on the Titanic and subsequent return to Earth caught her attention.

Below the one showing a picture of them parting on their return to Earth, was her mobile phone number, with love hearts at both ends.

“Aww, that’s sweet of you Kiffy, keeping a record of our first meeting”, she said, as she lifted his head out of his hands, turned him towards her, and gently kissed him.

“What was that for” he asked in a surprised tone

“To make you feel better and to let you know, you’re the only one for me”

“Aww, hee hee, that’s nice of you Amy. You make my life seem worthwhile after the way Zapp treats me” was his response, as he lent across her and pressed the panel to close the door.

“You and Zapp have a few problems?”

“That’s a wild and dangerous understatement. He’s a fat buffoon and I’ll never figure out how he became Captain”

“Yeah, I got that impression from when Leela talked about him”

“Some of the things he asked me to do are unbelievable: like preparing his formal underwear and then helping him into them. He seems to regard me as his slave”

“HE WHAT?” exploded Amy, “I won’t let him get away with that”

“Amy, please calm down, this isn’t like you”

“Kif, why do you let him do that to you?”

“He’s my captain and I have take orders from him, like you do from Leela”

“Yeah, guess so. I’m still going to let him know what I think of it though”

“Please Amy, don’t do anything I could regret later, it’s bad enough already.”

“I’m just gonna let him know what I think of the way he treats you, but first we’ve some important business of our own” she spoke with a glint in her eye

“Uh, huh, you mean…”

“Yup, I do” as she placed both arms around his body and drew him closer. Then just as she felt his arms clasp behind her back, she used her body to push him backwards, until both were in the prone position, and then proceeded to give him the biggest and most passionate kiss of his life.


Fry/Leela, followed Zapp, along the corridors of the Nimbus, before Zapp stopped for a minute and leaned against the wall,

"Oh I nearly forgot, said Zapp, the Bridge is being, uh, fumigated"

"Fumigated?" asked Fry/Leela, "For what?"

"Oh, while on a planet fall, one of our more, um, less particular, crew members, caught a nasty strain of Intergalactic gonad eating crotch lice" replied Zapp "so we'll have to complete the transaction in my, err, ready room"

"Uhhhhh, sure" said Fry/Leela moving slightly further away from Zapp,

"So are you … I mean is the crew member alright?" asked Fry/Leela

"Oh yes, all that is required is for the affected area to be smothered in a soothing, moist, medicated and ooooh so warm ointment, by some young fresh medical ensign," said Zapp, with a misty look in his eye and what looked suspiciously like drool leaking from the corner of his mouth.

Fry/Leela moved even further away, a shudder passing through him.

"Can we perhaps get this translation, err, transma… paper work finished, Zapp? I have other deliveries to make!" said Fry/Leela impatiently.

"Certainly" said Zapp, "My ready room is right through those doors at the end of this corridor"

"Well let's go," said Fry/Leela

"After you" said Zapp

Fry/Leela eyed Zapp suspiciously for a second before moving off

“Boy I'd like to break his face about now”

Zapp watched Fry/Leela go, a smug grin spreading across his face, he stopped leaning against the wall revealing a signpost pointing towards the doors Fry/Leela was heading toward.

'STEAM ROOM' read the sign

"Hehehehe, soon my pretty you will once again be my woman!" whispered Zapp to himself, as he moved after Fry/Leela.

He barely noticed the young officer walking in the opposite direction to him.

Zapp grunted a cursory greeting to Lt. Adaoye as she saluted in the passing.

She glanced back, a concerned look upon her face,

"Oh dear god not his patented steam room maneuver!" she thought shuddering recalling her own lucky escape.

With that Lt. Adaoye rushed off to locate some help.


Bender was busy guiding the hover dolly and it's somewhat tattered burden, through the labyrinth like corridors and walk ways of The Nimbus, towards Zapp's personal quarters.

Leela/Fry was a short distance behind, her mind going over certain things Bender had said about Fry and his love for her.

"Leela's great…Leela's soooo cute… she's sooo clever… Oh Lovely Leela You Are My Life, why wont you be my wife?"

"Fry really does think the world of me, even after all the abuse I've given him, including the stuff he did deserve", she thought to herself.

"And I hate to think what would have happened if he hadn't deciphered the note from my parents…"

"I'd have killed them…"

Leela/Fry was shaken out of her thoughts by a shout from Bender

"Hey Fry! A little help please" said Bender trying to guide the hover dolly round particularly tight corner

"Uh yeah be right with you, Bender!" said Leela/Fry as he moved to help

"Excuse me but would you be the delivery people from Planet Express, said a voice from behind them.

"Yeah who's askin?" replied Bender looking at the newcomer

"Lt. Lenihan" replied the young DOOP officer "1st officer Kroeker sent me to assist you, pardon me but may I inquire where the lovely Captain Leela is?" he continued

"She's with General 'Accident'" replied Bender

“Jeez another guy! Who's interested in me” thought Leela/Fry

"Oh! She’s with Captain Brannigan?" replied Lt. Lenihan, with a concerned tone.

"Jeez I can see the DOOP only take the best n brightest recruits, if you were any sharper you'd cut yourself!" replied Bender sarcastically

"Well perhaps with my assistance we can complete the given task and go to her aid, all the sooner" replied Lt. Lenihan, unfazed by Bender’s comment.

"Yeah whatever, skirt boy," said Bender

"Must help save Leela", muttered Lt. Lenihan as he walked briskly past Bender and Leela/Fry totally ignoring the last remark, and continued down the corridor without slowing.

"Jerkwad, ain't you forgetting something" yelled Bender after the rapidly departing Lieutenant.

"Bender, just hoist the damned dolly, and let's get going I don't trust Zapp" ordered Leela/Fry.

"Yeah, yeah. Still thinking like Leela, will you ever give that up?" retorted Bender as he pressed the Dolly's Anti-Grav start button.

"Must remember I'm Fry, otherwise Bender will mock me forever", thought Leela/Fry, as a faint redness briefly crossed his face.

"Hey Fry, that extra redness matches your jacket nicely" mocked Bender as he set off down the corridor.

"Thanks Bender" was all Leela/Fry could come up with in the way of a response.

Just as they approached Zapp's Quarters, they heard the muffled sound of two people colliding, hotly followed by a few mild curses.

"What the hell happened?" asked Leela/Fry as they approached the entangled pair.

"I .. er she, came charging down the corridor and collided with me", answered Lenihan as he and a female Lieutenant got up off the floor.

"You fool, look where you going?" answered the female Lieutenant

"OK, Well I know him, but who the hell are you?" asked Bender, pointing accusing fingers at them.

"I'm Lt. Adaoye, and I think you wonderful" she replied looking up at him, with tears of joy welling up in her puppy dog eyes.

"Yeah baby, you got that right" an extremely pleased Bender answered

"Hey Bender, looks like you've got a friend for life" said Leela/Fry, nudging him in the back, and hurting his elbow.

"I seen you here before, you my God." Adaoye stuttered out, staring at him in sheer admiration.

"You're not so bad yourself for a human" he answered

"Look you two lovebirds, my Leela could be in danger" interrupted Lenihan.

"'My' Leela? Talk about possessive. He must REALLY think he loves me"

Breaking her gaze away from Bender for a brief second, and looking straight at Fry, Lt. Adaoye informed him, about Leela and Zapp and the Steam Room, before diverting her gaze back to Bender.

"Fry's with Zapp! In a Steam Room! Oh My God! I’ve got to rescue him!” yelled Leela/Fry as he shot off down the corridor, knocking Lenihan headfirst into the box on the dolly, rendering him unconscious.

Before Bender could react to what Leela/Fry had yelled, Adaoye jumped up and started hugging and kissing him.

"Jeez girl, you sure do have the hots for me" he managed to say as he eventually managed to get Adaoye off of him.

"Fry is with Zapp"!? .. But Fry ran off down the corridor .. Now I know he's gone nuts" said the stream of binary data pulsing through Bender’s cerebral circuits.

A soft moaning sound drifted up from the floor, and as Bender and Adaoye turned to look downwards, Lenihan raised a hand to his head and patted the lump and bruise that were appearing.

"OUCH! Anyone get the number of that Delivery Van" he moaned.

"You OK?" asked a slightly concerned Adaoye

"He looks like he's ready to take on the Killbots single handedly." said Bender

"Where's Fry gone?" asked Lenihan looking around him.

"That’s who knocked you into the boxes while charging off to rescue Fry err Leela" answered Bender

"I hope Leela tells him off for leaving us, that idiot!" venomously spat out Lenihan.

"He's not an idiot, he's cute, but not as cute as you" replied Adaoye looking up at Bender with a glint in her eyes.

"Look skirt boy, now he's ran off, let's finish delivering this crate, this ain’t a one robot moving show" yelled Bender as he set off at speed up the corridor.

Lieutenants Adaoye and Lenihan chased after him, only catching up as he approached Zapp's Quarters.

"OK, we're here" gasped Lenihan as he stopped next to Bender.

"You gonna open the doors, or do I kick them down"

"I open the doors for my God" said Adaoye, as she pressed the numbers 4-3-2-1 into the keypad, then pressed the Green Open Door button.

"How did you know that?" asked a bewildered Lenihan.

"Err, I don't want to tell you" she responded blushing slightly.


The prone figures of Amy and Kif lay upon his bed, still entangled together, in their kiss.

The sound of something hitting the floor above them got their attention, followed by the muffled shout of " Fry's with Zapp! In a Steam Room! Oh My God! I’ve got to rescue him!” and the fading sound of someone running at speed.

Kif broke from Amy, “Did I hear right, I thought Leela went with Zapp.”

“Err, yeah, there’s something I’m not meant to tell you, but I think this will cheer you up.”

“OK, but you being here has done that already”

“Aww, thanks, this will make you laugh though. Zapp is probably attempting to get Fry into bed with him.”

“How? Him and Leela walked past us in the landing bay and headed for the bridge”

“It’s kind of complicated, but sometime yesterday, Leela and Fry’s minds somehow switched bodies.”

“Uh? So you’re saying telling me that Leela is Fry and Fry is Leela?”

“Yeah, and the only people who know are them, you and I.”

“Zapp doesn’t know and hasn’t realized yet? Oh boy, how I wish I could see what was happening”, he struggled to say through fits of giggling.

“I told you that it was funny, but you must never tell Zapp that you know, otherwise Leela will kill me.”

“OK, I’ll try and do that for you, but I’m not going to be able to look him straight in the face again, without remembering what you just told me”.

“Yeah, I can imagine”, as she lowered her mouth onto his and started to continue like the interruption had never happened.


Fry/Leela walked through the doors in front of him, straight into a thick fog of steam.

He looked around him; he couldn’t see a damn thing in front of him,

"Jeez! Sure is humid in this part of the ship!" He said out loud, looking around to find the door or some vent to release some of the steam in the corridor.

He heard the door close behind him; he turned around but saw no one.

Zapp smirked to himself as he silently closed the door to the changing rooms,

"By the time the lovely Leela figures out what's going on I'll be wearing naught but a towel and she won't be able to help herself" he thought to himself.

Fry/Leela stumbled round the room.

"Hmm perhaps Zapp thinks I'm a little tense and is trying to get me to relax a little" he thought to himself "yeah right, any second now he's gonna appear and try and get into Leela's pantsMY pants!"

Fry/Leela shuddered to himself, "well he's got no chance there", he thought,

He felt himself gasping for air, the sweat was pouring out of her now, and her chest was beginning to feel heavy.

"Man it sure is hot in here" thought Fry/Leela to himself.

He felt himself falling, dizziness almost taking him by surprise.

"Whoaaa!" He exclaimed, "I think I just about fainted there.

“So? Zapp would call for a medic and I'd get out of here!”

A second voice piped up in the back of his mind, one that sarcastically said, "yeah Zapp's gonna come in here and find you, in Leela's body, unconscious and the first thing he's gonna do is call for a doctor… I don’t think so"

"OK!" Thought Fry/Leela, trying to be as rational as he could in the overpowering heat and humidity, "It looks like the only way to escape from here with Leela's honor intact and her, My, body unmolested is for me to get out of some of these clothes before I faint"

Fry/Leela began to get undressed, until he was wearing only the small but sensible white panties he put on earlier.

Laying Leela's clothes in a neat pile nearby to prevent them getting creased, he took a towel off a nearby rack and proceeded to lay down on it in his stomach, partly because it was comfortable partly because it helped get his mind of the two large pieces of soft, warm and pert pieces of female flesh that were constantly in his field of vision, when he was standing.

Fry/Leela lay there for a few minutes, relaxing in the heat, after pouring water over the hot synthetic coals.

He was just about to close her eye and doze off when he heard a door open.

Fry/Leela snapped his head up and looked on in abject horror as Zapp appeared like a bloated towel adorned apparition through the thick steamy atmosphere.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" shrieked Fry/Leela getting up and running for the door.

Something was going off in Fry/Leela's head like and alarm bell.

He looked down and saw something that in other circumstances would have made him smile from ear to ear; however his reaction now was quite different.


Fry/Leela glanced at Zapp who was by now moving towards him with a smug look on his face.

"MMMMMMMM candy!" said Zapp, lunging forward

"Dream on fatboy!" spat Fry with a tone that reminded him of the real Leela, as he pushed Zapp backward onto the hot coals, and covered himself with his other arm.

"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW" yelled Zapp as the coals set fire to his towel.

Fry/Leela reached the door and finding it locked proceeded to bang against it with his one free fist.


Fry/Leela pummeled at the door for a few more seconds.

"What the hell am I doing?" He thought, suddenly, "she's gonna be on the other side of the ship, she'll never hear me"

Fry/Leela felt himself start to panic, his rate of breathing increasing significantly,

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I'm Trapped, semi-naked in Leela's body, in a sauna with Captain Lothario here and I just about set fire to the only thing he's wearing" thought Fry/Leela, glancing at Zapp who was now attempting to perch precariously on top of the small water trough in the corner of the room and douse his toasted posterior.

Fry/Leela's eye went wide in horror when he saw that the towel was know lying on the bench next to Zapp.

For an instant his mind went off on a tangent, back to another incident in a steam room.

“Hey, Amy and Leela must have been lying about the wonders of genetic engineering, unless small is wonderful nowadays.”

Fry/Leela suddenly remember exactly what he was looking at and looked away in disgust.



“Hey skintubes, quit talking, get working, this needs be delivered, today” ordered Bender.

Both Lenihan and Adaoye had a bemused look on their faces, before rushing into the room, and between them started to push the old bed towards the doors.

“Bender, please help” asked a red-faced Adaoye.

“Yeah, this bed is too heavy for us humans to move on our own” sarcastically added Lenihan.

“It’s always us robots that do the work, you losers are worse than useless in comparison” answered Bender as he pushed both the Lieutenants out of the way. Then shoving the bed into the corridor, before turning and pushing the Cargo Dolly into the room and unloaded and unpacked the new bed. Adaoye rushed up and pulled the plastic covering off the bed, before leaping onto Bender and giving him a Big Hug.

“You my hero” she said before planting a kiss on him.

“Jeez girl, leave me alone, I’m a Robot” said Bender once he’d managed to unfasten Adaoye from him and help her to the floor

“Mr. Bender, I suggest you go help the lovely Leela with the idiots, before she accidentally dismantles you” said Lenihan with a touch of concern in his voice and pointing at Adaoye.

“I not hurt my love” defiantly answered Adaoye.

MY LOVE?!?, This is worse than having my Butt shielded” thought Bender

“Yeah, I guess you’re right Skirt Boy!” a worried sounding Bender replied, as he backed out of the room, turned and started to run down the corridor.

“Where you going?” shouted Adaoye, as she set off after him, narrowly evading Lenihan’s hand shooting out in an attempt to grab her arm and stop her.

“Well, looks like I’LL have stay here and guard the room” declared Lenihan to himself.

The numerous intersecting corridors, doorways and staircases of The Nimbus went past in a blur as Bender raced through the ship, trying to locate the Bridge, while at the same time trying to lose Lt. Adaoye.

"For a human, she certainly has impressive energy" he said to himself, after looking behind him for the umpteenth time, and seeing the now familiar figure following him like a shadow. He rounded another corner, and spotted a cleaning cupboard to his right. He quickly pressed the open button, he leaping in just as soon as the door had opened high enough, and then pressed the close button.

Bender stood in the dark, silently, listening, hoping that he'd fooled Adaoye.

A brief period of time after the door had shut; Adaoye rounded the corner, and stopped. "Where he go?" she pondered, before shooting off down the corridor towards the next intersection.

After looking left and seeing nothing, she looked right and saw a door closing. "He's trying to hide from me" she thought, before as silently as she could started to walk towards the door.

After hearing footsteps recede into the distance, Bender pressed the open button and stuck his head through the opening door, and then quickly withdrew it as he saw Adaoye had stopped at the intersection. After a few seconds, he dared to have another look, and saw that she had gone, quickly he left the room, and ran back up the corridor, still in fear that he hadn't lost her.

Lt. Adaoye approached the door, and pressed the open button, before walking in.

"You can't hide from me!" she said on entering, before stopping in horror, as the semi-naked body of Lt. Paris, turned to look at her.

"Why would I hide from YOU!" he spat out, while twirling his hand near his blonde hair.

"I, thought you someone else, sorry" she stutteringly responded, before backing out of the room, and quickly turned right back the way she came.

"Women, can't live with them, can't live without them" said Lt. Paris to himself, once had the room to himself.

"I lost my love!" she disappointedly said to herself, before heading towards her quarters for some peace, quiet and solace.

After running and constantly looking behind him, Bender eventually found his way to the Bridge.


Leela/Fry raced through the labyrinth like corridors of the Nimbus, following the signs for the ship’s steam room.

She heard the thudding on the door, and the muffled yells of Fry in her voice.

"Fry! Fry!" yelled Leela/Fry, before realizing her mistake, "Leela its Fry, stand back” she added!

Fry/Leela heard Leela's voice from the other side of the door and took a step back.

Leela/Fry kicked the door down, and was met with the sight of Fry/Leela grinning inanely with relief, lunging towards her, wearing only the pair of conservative white panties he'd put on earlier.

"WHAT THE HELL!!" yelled Leela/Fry pushing Fry/Leela away.

"Lee…Fry… Darling, its not what you think," said Fry/Leela, before realizing just how bad that sounded given his current attire.

He saw the angry glare in Leela/Fry's eyes. "She might not forgive me for this" he thought panicking,

Fry/Leela opened her mouth and hoped for the best


Leela/Fry looked at Fry/Leela and saw the desperation in her eye; "He's terrified! He thinks that he's let me down" she thought.

She noticed Zapp's ample form teetering on the water trough; a look of blissful relief on his face, his blistered buttocks immersed deep in the liquid.

She tried hard to stifle her laughter.

Zapp looked up and saw Leela/Fry holding Fry/Leela away from her.

"Oh, I hope I've not caused any trouble for you and the pip-squeak, Leela" said Zapp, smugly, his voice quivering slightly with pain.

Leela/Fry looked at Zapp and pulled Fry/Leela to him, locking her lips on his and holding her tight.

Fry/Leela's eye went wide, with shock!

Leela/Fry felt Fry/Leela relax into the embrace, and then felt her hand gently cup his buttock, she made a slight noise, and opened his eyes and looked at Fry/Leela's eye, now shut in blissful delight.

She looked at Zapp who was staring at the sight of 'Leela' groping 'Fry' on the ass, wide eyed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shrieked before losing his balance and toppling off his perch on the water trough and landing on his burnt buttocks, "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Leela/Fry then placed her hand on Fry/Leela's buttock, making sure that Zapp got a good look.

Leela/Fry broke off the kiss, "No trouble" she said caustically, before adding "and you're really not in any position to call anyone pip-squeak yourself Zapp."

She then looked at Fry/Leela, she couldn’t help but smile at the faraway, contented, glazed look her face had.

She picked up Zapp's singed towel and held it up. "OK Leela" she said "You can get dressed again"

"What about me?" asked Zapp.

"What about you?" asked Leela/Fry, smugly.

"I need to cover myself up to get my uniform from the other room" replied Zapp

Leela/Fry put his hand into a jacket pocket.

She pulled out a tiny crumpled but unused handkerchief and handed it to Zapp, "That should more than cover it!" he said.

Fry/Leela sniggered slightly as she finished getting dressed.

Zapp took the handkerchief grudgingly and crept out the steam room.

Fry/Leela looked at Leela/Fry once Zapp had left,

"Leela I'm soo sorry for what happened," he said, her voice low and surprisingly sincere, her eye meeting his eyes, “I didn’t know what else to do, If it will make you feel better you can hit me or something!" he continued hanging her head and closing her eye

"It's OK, Fry you're a man, you're not used to that kind of situation," said Leela/Fry

"No, Leela it’s not OK! I was vulnerable, I let you down, and I know how much you regret what happened with Zapp. I could never have forgiven myself if something had happened, course I'd probably need years of therapy too, but I knowing I'd betrayed you would be much worse" said Fry/Leela

Leela/Fry looked at Fry/Leela, his voice took on a firm yet kind tone, "Fry, its alright, I forgive you, I mean you set Zapp's ass on fire, how can I be mad at you after seeing that"

She smiled at him; she saw the guilt he was feeling lift and he managed a soft smile.

"Now come on we've got to get to the bridge and get this transaction completed" she went on.


A short time later Leela/Fry and Fry/Leela approached the bridge of the nimbus, the smell of chemicals hung in the air and made the backs of their throat smart.

The last of the fumigation detail where leaving the bridge as they entered, four of the fumigation crew where carrying Zapp's captains chair out of the bridge. It was wrapped in a thick plastic hermetically sealed bag, emblazoned with the words "Biohazard," and "Danger - Category 5 Crotch Lice contamination", while another two were bringing in the replacement chair.

Both shuddered uneasily, Leela/Fry turned and looked at Fry/Leela.

"Um Zapp didn't touch you in the steamroom? Did he? " An air of concern in his voice.

"Well I pushed him but he didn't touch me as such, so no, your not infested" answered Fry guessing what Leela was getting at and giving her that weird one-eyed wink look he'd used earlier.

"Though I think I did bruise my...your eye running from him" said, Fry/Leela with a wry smirk

Leela/Fry gave him a look.

Fry/Leela's expression changed to one of slight embarrassment.

"Sorry!" she said "It's just that I've never seen, eh, uh...them, up that close, I nearly fell over myself, I mean, their the best ones I've ever seen, soo big and round and...Uh, I'll shut up now OK?" as she noticed the menacing looking furrowed brows on Leela/Fry’s face.

"Yeah Fry! Shut up!" said Leela/Fry sternly

"Sorry" mumbled Fry/Leela despondently.

Leela/Fry looked around the bridge after they had stood there for a short while before she turned and looked at herself.

"Where the hell is everyone? We better go and get Zapp, and get this delivery completed and get out of here!”

She noticed the sudden look of horror and abject fear on Fry/Leela's face at the mention of going to get Zapp.

"OK I'll go get Zapp" he said

"Thanks" said a very relieved Fry/Leela "I don't want to take this body anywhere near him"

"You and me both!" said Leela/Fry giving Fry/Leela a brief smile before setting off back towards the Steam room changing rooms.


She found herself back at the men's changing rooms a short while later.

Leela/Fry gingerly entered the outer room and opened the door to the main changing room; Zapp sat opposite him with his back facing him, his head bowed and his hands busy with something in his lap.

Leela/Fry watched aghast as Zapp groaned slightly, and his head lolled back. She was about to leave in a hurry when Zapp placed a small tube of cream on the bench next to him.

Leela/Fry shuddered to himself slightly before coughing to announce his presence in the room.

Zapp looked around and on recognizing Leela/Fry gave her a derisory look before turning his gaze forward again.

"What do you want hairpile!" snapped Zapp.

“Leela needs you on the bridge to complete the delivery” said Leela/Fry.

"Ah she NEED's ME!" said Zapp with a smirk.

"She just needs your signature, I got everything else covered" replied Leela/Fry trying her best to give a reply Fry would use.

"I'll wait outside for you" said Leela/Fry anxious to avoid the site of Zapp getting dressed and avoid being asked to help him get his girdle back on.

A few minutes later Zapp exited the changing rooms, Leela/Fry was doing a pretty good impression of fry nonchalantly leaning against the corridor wall whistling.

“Finally your dressed!” said Leela/Fry, “Still I suppose you gotta be careful, that girdle must take a lot of punishment.”

“Can it! Hairball," snapped Zapp "Or I'll have you thrown in the brig!"

“Eeep!” thought Leela/Fry, I 'm not me anymore, I can get away with saying that sort of thing to Zapp, he thinks I'm Fry, If I got thrown in the brig who'd protect Fry? And my body” she added almost as an after thought.

As they neared the bridge Leela/Fry began to make out the sound of her own voice.

“Oh dear god, what's Fry up to now?” she thought to herself.

"Uh Zapp! I think I heard a woman calling your name from down that corridor!" said Leela/Fry Hastily to distract Zapp for a moment and allow her to enter the bridge before him

“What! Where?” said Zapp with a broad lecherous grin on his face.

"Down that corridor to the left there" said Leela/Fry

"It must be one of those nurses come back for some more...uh tell the lovely Leela I'll be with her shortly, I have some 'candy' to catch" said Zapp as he strutted off down the corridor like a cockerel round a barnyard.

"Sucker!" said Leela/Fry quietly to herself.

She entered the bridge and saw Fry/Leela standing in the middle of the floor in front of where Zapp's chair should have sat.

"Captain’s Log! Supplemental, Stardate 3002.17.09.15:30. After placing the ship in orbit round the planet Xunil 4, I have discovered that..."

"Fry!" snapped Leela quietly

"Whoa!" exclaimed Fry/Leela startled, spinning round to face her.

Fry/Leela went to place a hand on the railing separating the viewscreen from the main section of the bridge and maintain any semblance of dignity he had left; unfortunately he missed and fell length in a classic Chaplinesque pratfall.

"I'm OK!” He yelled, getting up quickly! Trying to regain his composure

"You won’t be!” Hissed Leela/Fry grabbing hold of him by the straps on her white tank top

At that moment Zapp walked into the Bridge.

Fry/Leela saw Zapp over Leela/Fry's shoulder and kissed him full on the lips whilst grabbing his hands with hers and placing them suggestively on her body.

Leela/Fry let out a surprised yelp before noticing Zapp out of the corner of his eyes and then relaxed into the charade.

Fry/Leela eventually broke off the kiss, a hint of reluctance on her face.

"Oh Zapp! I didn't see you there" she said smugly, giving Leela/Fry a cheeky grin as she patted his butt and conspicuously mouthing “LOVE YOU” at her, before walking over to Zapp

“Fry's playing his role to the full and he loves every second of it” thought Leela/Fry

"My Zapp! Have you put on even more weight?" asked Fry/Leela

“ Maybe!” stammered Zapp taken aback.

"Why not ask Fry here for some work out tips" said Fry/Leela pointing at Leela/Fry "he's in excellent shape, why sometimes he keeps me up all night!"

Both Zapp and Fry/Leela looked at Leela/Fry who was standing a few feet away

Leela/Fry grinned back at them.

"Your sooooo dead Fry!" mouthed Leela/Fry at Fry/Leela once Zapp had looked away shaking his head at this turn of events.

Fry/Leela grinned back, enjoying his fleeting moment of power as much as he could.

"Any way let’s get this delivery finalized, I just need you to sign here" said Fry/Leela producing the PE delivery docket and laying it out on a nearby worktop.

"Uhhh sure" said Zapp still slightly unnerved by Leela's behavior. Just let me call on Kif to witness it.


"Kif Kroeker to the Bridge" boomed out from the ship communicator speaker, just above Amy's Head.

Amy opened her eyes and looked down at Kif, and then released her grasp on his back, and sat up on the bed. Kif got up off the bed and headed towards his mirror, so that he could get his uniform straightened out.

"Aie ye! Are we ever going to get this finished?" an angry looking Amy asked.

"The buffoon needs me for some reason, I have to go." as he headed for the door. Just as he got there, Amy jumped off the bed and grabbed his hand tightly.

"Now WE ARE ready to see him" she said, after pressing the door control panel.

“You’re coming as well” inquired Kif his voice shaking a little.

“Well, I’m not going to stay in your cabin and I’ve nothing else to do, plus I want to see how Leela and Fry are doing” as she half dragged him out of the room.

“Plus I want to let Captain Brannigan know what I think of his treatment of my Kiffy”

“Oh OK” he replied slightly uncertain as he stretched back and hit the lock door button.

After walking along numerous corridors, they entered the Bridge and stood next to Zapp.

“Kif Kroeker reporting as ordered”

“Ah, you’re finally here, just in time to see me sign this document with a flourish” Zapp replied as he raised his pen and then stopped.

“What’s wrong, we’ve delivered the bed” said Fry/Leela.

“Not quite, if you read the small print, it’s required to have a thorough testing prior to my acceptance” answered Zapp with a glint of excitement in his eyes.

“Uh, what?” answered a shocked Fry/Leela as she grabbed the paperwork, and started to read with Leela/Fry looking over her shoulder.

"Kif, go and get my NEW bed ready for action" ordered Zapp, while sneaking a sly look at Fry/Leela.

"Unnngh!... Yes Captain" came the despondent response as he turned towards the door.

"Kiffy, I know he's your Captain, but you are not his slave" Amy said stretching out an arm, and grabbing hold of his hand.

"But he gave me an order" came the nervous response as he turned to face her.

"That's not the kind of order a Captain should give" she replied while quickly looking at Leela/Fry, hoping for a nod of confirmation. Leela/Fry turned towards Fry/Leela and appeared to whisper something in her ear.

"Amy, stay out of this, it's none of your business" ordered Fry/Leela.

"He's my boyfriend and you are agreeing with this buffoon! Spleesh!" responded Amy angrily, as she thrust a finger into Zapp's flabby midriff.

"Amy calm down, this is between Zapp and Kif" came the response from Leela/Fry, who looked shocked at her reaction.

"He treats Kif like a piece of garbage! If he won't stand up for himself, I'll do it" shouted Amy venomously as she forcibly jabbed her balled up fist into Zapp, making him to take an involuntary step backwards, towards his chair.

"Oof, that hurt" gasped Zapp as he patted the area of impact.

"Amy, please calm down, I know you love me and care for me, but he's my captain" meekly said Kif.

"Kif, unless something is done, he'll keep on walking all over you, and I don't want a doormat for a future husband, you don’t deserve that." replied Amy as she turned to face him, her eyes wide with anger.

"Me!? your husband!" stuttered Kif as he looked bewildered by this revelation, colour starting to drain from him as his camouflage reaction started.

"You and him, married, I've more chance with Leela" interjected a chuckling Zapp.

"You've no chance, Fry is the only one for me" responded Fry/Leela, while avoiding the astonished stare from Leela/Fry.

Amy spun away from the now partially invisible Kif, took one step towards Zapp and before anyone could stop her, she pushed him so hard, that he toppled backwards over the Captain's Chair, landing on his head and knocking him senseless.

"Amy!?...wh!...wha!... why did you do that?" spluttered Fry/Leela after a few seconds of shocked silence had past.

"I know, I just got so angry, I couldn't stop myself" she replied, her cheeks now red with shame instead of anger.

"Guess we'd better help him, he looks seriously hurt" a shocked Leela/Fry said.

"Amy, I hope you never do that again" said Kif

"I won't, I just ...." she replied as she broke down in tears. The re-materialising Kif walked up to her and gently wrapped his arms, around her body and gave her a comforting hug.

Leela and Fry walked round the chair and made a couple of valiant attempts to lift Zapp's unconscious body off the floor.

"Sheesh, he is heavy, glad he ain't my brother" said Fry/Leela

"I think we're going to need that Cargo Dolly again, you'd better order Bender to get it, Amy and Kif are in no position to help at the moment" he whispered

"Bender, go and get the dolly, so that we can move Zapp to somewhere else"

"Yeah, like the disposal unit" responded Bender with a mock salute

"Looking at that cut, he's going to need a Hospital, we should take him back to Earth." said Leela/Fry.

"What about the Nimbus's sick bay?" enquired Fry/Leela

"Well it would have all the equipment to attend to Zapp", replied Kif, "But the nurses refuse to treat him after the, erm... crotch lice ointment application incident" added Kif uncomfortably.

"Riiiggghhht!" said Fry/Leela with a bemused look on her face.

"So it would be best if you could take him back to earth with you" said Kif

"Yeah, so you going to stay here and captain The Nimbus?" asked a hopeful Fry/Leela, looking at Leela/Fry.

"No I'm not, Kif is captain now, I think!" came the forceful response.

"Captain Kif! That has a nice ring to it" said Amy as she looked up from his shoulder.


Bender approached the door to the bridge with some trepidation, the thought of a rampant Lt. Adaoye waiting beyond filled his circuits with fear.

“Bender, why haven’t you left the bridge yet?” asked Fry/Leela, as she looked up from the injured form of Zapp.

“I’m being quiet, so as not to disturb the idiot” responded Bender.

“You look like you’re in fear of the door to me” shot back Leela/Fry

“Yeah, there’s a female DOOP Officer out there, who can’t keep her hands off me” came back the unusually shameful reply.

“Bender’s Got A Girlfriend!” sang Fry/Leela before a hand whacked him across the cheek.

Oops, it looks like Fry just hit me.” thought Leela/Fry to herself.

“Why did you hit me, Lee .. err Fry?” asked Fry/Leela as he rubbed her cheek

“Sorry, forgot who I was for a second” truthfully replied Leela/Fry

“Jeez, you two are more screwed up than that Lieutenant is, still thinking you’re each other!” yelled back Bender, as he stretched his arm towards the door panel and then instantly withdrew it.

“You open the door for him, Fry” ordered Fry/Leela to Leela/Fry.

“OK, I’ll help the Big Brave Robot open the door” came the sarcastic response as he stepped forward and pressed the open door button on the panel.

“Bender, go and get the Cargo Dolly, NOW!” ordered Fry/Leela while pointing to the open door.

“That’s the Leela I know, back to yourself” said Bender as he slowly shuffled to the door, stuck his head out for a quick look, then with no sign of Adaoye, he ran out the bridge and down the corridor.

Nicely Done, I thought that was me for a second” Leela/Fry whispered to Fry/Leela after walking over to her.

I thought I was you for a second “ she responded in a whisper.

“Maybe this swap is having after effects, you could end up with parts of my personality and vice-versa” Leela/Fry whispered back

“Cooool!” responded Fry/Leela out aloud.

“That’s not what I meant, and keep your voice down” a severe whisper came back.

“Leela, Fry instead of standing there whispering, can you check on Zapp, please” asked Kif.

“How’s Amy?” asked Leela/Fry as they bent down to check on Zapp.

“I’m OK, I’m in Kif’s arms.” she responded through tear stained eyes as she looked up to face them.


Lt. Adaoye got up off her bed and wandered around her room for the umpteenth time, then sat down again and placed her head in her hands.

I lost Bender, I not know what to do!” she said to herself

“Lt. Adaoye, report for guard duty outside the Captain’s Quarters” a voice ordered over the intercom.

“I going now” she yelled at the microphone on the wall, as she passed it on her way out of the door.

“I think they heard you say that back at Head Quarters on Earth” came the sarcastic response, to a now empty room.

“Lt. Linehan your partner will be with you shortly, she’s on her way and seems a bit steamed.” the intercom informed him.

“You’re sending me Lt. Adaoye, again. She left here chasing after the Planet Express robot, a Mr. Bender.”

“She was guarding the room and left her duty?”

“No, we were moving the Captain’s new bed into his room at the time.”

“That’s OK then. She’ll be with you shortly.”

Bender raced down the corridor, his threat assessment circuits buzzing with activity, his radar systems scanning ahead and behind constantly.

He rounded the last corner before the Lovenasium and saw Lt Lenihan standing outside the door.

"Hey Skirt Boy what are you still doing here?" asked Bender

"I'm guarding the Buffoons quarters! Whats it look like, you rusty bucket of bolts!" replied Lt Lenihan causticly

"Ohhh Touché!" replied Bender "You know I could get to like you kid"

"Yeah well pity you aint gonna have the time" said Lt Lenihan "Lt Adeoye is on her way back here right now”

“AWWW CRAP!” exclaimed Bender half in fear, half in irritation.

He then grabbed cargo dolly and ran hell for leather back the way he had come, his metal limbs flailing wildly as he propelled himself and the dolly through the myriad of corridors of the Nimbus.

His onboard sensors picked up a rapidly approaching signal, one that matched a profile he'd created earlier, one that struck fear into his circuits.


Bender glanced around himself panic stricken.

Finding no where to hide, he stopped the dolly and leapt on to it. Then he retracted his arms legs and head into his body giving the appearance of a plain ordinary container and certainly not the object of Lt Adaoye's desires.

Bender remained in his Compact mode till long after the signal had ceased. He gingerly popped his head out of his body just far enough for his eyes to scan 360° to check the coast was clear.

Ok Gotta be fast!” said Bender, concerned that Lt Adaoye would return. With that he leapt off the dolly and high tailed it back towards the bridge.

Lt Adaoye arrived at Zapp's quarters and was greeted by a bemused Lt Lenihan.

“Glad to see you could make it” he said sarcastically

“I sorry I was looking for Bender” she replied

“Oh? Well you just missed him!” said Lenihan.

“What! OH MY GOD! I MUST CATCH HIM!” she exclaimed

Adaoye began to spin round to leave when Lenihan deftly grabbed her by the shoulder and with his other hand pinched her nose in a near perfect demonstration of the Arcturain Kung-Fu sleeping nose pinch.

Lt Adaoye sighed softly before crumpling to the floor unconscious.

“Yes, I truly think Leela would have been proud of that one herself” said Lenihan smugly to no one in particular.

Fry, Leela, Kif, and Amy stood over the prone form of Zapp when the Bridges doors began to open before being smashed to pieces as Bender barrelled the hover dolly through the door.

“That woman is unstoppable I tell you” yelled Bender.

“What woman?” chorused Leela, Fry, Amy and Kif, looking through the gaping hole.

“That Adaoye woman, she won't stop chasing me. I had to turn turtle and hide from her.”

“Well at least you got the Dolly here, now what do we do with Zapp, we've no room on the ship", said Leela/Fry

"Unless you chuck him in the Cargo Hold", said the returning Bender pushing the Dolly carelessly into Zapp, then throwing his hands in the air, when there was no response from the prone Zapp.

"Hey, I've an idea" said Amy

"What?" asked Leela/Fry.

"Kiffy, can find somewhere for me to sleep, then I could move out of my cabin, and stay here with Kif, while you transport Zapp to Earth."

"I don't know if that's a good idea Amy", the new temporary Captain answered.

"Aww, pwease Kiffy" she answered giving him her best sad puppy look.

"Hoo, heh heh, I'll see what I can do" he answered while attempting to suppress his nerves.

Amy leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek "I knew you were the right man for me" she said, blinking her eyes rapidly at him.

"OK, that's that then, Amy stays with Kif" said Fry/Leela before Leela/Fry could say anything in disagreement.

"Let's get the out-of-it fatso, to the ship then" mentioned Bender, as he hauled Zapp's insensible carcass unceremoniously onto the cargo dolly, then started to push it towards the smashed bridge doors.

Everyone watched Bender carelessly shove the dolly and Zapp through the remains of the doors, adding a few more bumps to Zapp's head in the process.

Leela, Fry and Amy followed the robot down through the Nimbus's main carridors and walkways towards the docking bays.

They gave the occasional flinch as Bender played Bumper cars with the Dolly, Zapp's head and the corridor doors and walls.

“Shouldnt we tell Bender to be more careful with Zapp?” said Fry/Leela

“Nah!” came the response with mischievous glint in Leela/Fry’s eyes.

After a short time longer, which saw Bender managing to catch Zapps head between 3 sets of elevator doors and collide with several more immovable objects the group finally entered Docking Bay 5 and saw the comforting site of the PE ship.

“My work here is done, off to get some booze” said Bender leaving the Cargo Dolly at the bottom of the steps and then started up them into the Planet Express ship.

“Err, Bender you forgot something” yelled Leela/Fry after him pointing at the inert form of Zapp on the Dolly.

“Like what? To give you your proper brain back?” came the muffled response from above.

“He knows!” whispered Fry/Leela to Leela/Fry.

“No, he knows something is wrong, but doesn’t know what, we’ll have to be more careful in front of him” she whispered back.

G’uh, why are you two whispering, me and Kiffy already know what happened, and Bender isn’t anywhere near” remarked Amy from just behind them.

Both Leela and Fry spun around to face Amy at speed.

“You’ve told Kif?” asked an exasperated Leela/Fry.

“Well, I had to, he needed cheering up and I thought it might make him laugh” she nervously answered

“What did you tell him?”

“Just that you two had swapped minds and that Zapp was possibly trying get Fry into bed”

“OK, guess that would have amused him” came the response while sneaking a quick look at Fry/Leela’s horrified face. “He won’t tell anyone?” Leela/Fry continued

“He said he won’t and I believe him” defiantly answered Amy.

“OK, now what do we do about Zapp?” asked Fry/Leela

“Well, looks like we’re going to have to move him. Fry you grab the legs, Amy you grab the head, I’ll get the middle” ordered Leela/Fry.

B’uh, why don’t we take him through the cargo hold on the Dolly, then we only need to lift him onto my bed” mentioned Amy.

“Yeah, let’s do that” answered Fry/Leela with a look of relief spreading across her face.

“That is easier, don’t know why I suggested the other way” said Leela/Fry

“Maybe you wanted to show Fry what his body can do!” mischievously responded Amy.

“Hey, it’s not that bad, is it?” asked Fry/Leela, as Amy and Leela/Fry looked at each other and gave a knowing wink.

“I’ll push the Cargo Dolly to Amy’s cabin with her help, while you go and make certain everything is in order on the Bridge” advised Leela/Fry.

“That’s my job moving cargo” came the slightly downhearted response.

“I know, but we’re still trying to fool Bender, remember” shot back Leela/Fry

“OK, I forgot who I was for a second, don’t know why though” came the response as Fry/Leela looked down towards the floor and then gently patted her bosom, before heading up the steps into the ship.

“OK Amy, let’s get the “Cargo” into the ship” as Leela/Fry motioned with his hand towards the Dolly.

“You want me to push it?” asked a surprised Amy.

“No, you lead the way and work the Cargo Hold door and lift, I’ll push the Dolly” came the authoritative response.

“If you want to keep fooling Bender, act more like Fry and not you” mentioned Amy as she walked towards the Cargo Hold doors.

“I am acting like Fry, aren’t I?” came the quizzical response.

“Some of the time you are, but you talk like Leela and not like Fry”

“I hadn’t realised that, been getting used to two eyes and acting like him.”

“Guess it must seem funny still, looking at yourself without a mirror?”

“It does, although hopefully I’ll be me tomorrow and not Fry” Leela/Fry replied.

I hope we do switch back, this body is my biggest challenge ever!” she wistfully thought.

“I think it’s cute, you being Fry, it gives you a unique look at life” responded Amy “but it will be good to have you back to normal” she added quickly before Leela/Fry could shoot back a response.

“OK, Amy enough of this conversation, let’s get Zapp to your cabin” ordered Leela/Fry

“Sure, no problem. I’ll go and get to the controls for the Cargo Hold” as she noticed that Leela/Fry had pushed a jacket sleeve up and was looking for a couple of seconds with some bewilderment at a bare arm.


Fry/Leela walked into the bridge and sat down in the Captain’s chair.

“Now, what would Leela do?” he asked himself, before pressing a green button on the console in front of him. A faint clicking noise from behind, briefly caught his attention, but was forgotten almost as quick.

Aww Crud, what did I press!” he said to himself, before noticing just above the button was a label saying “ICS”.

“Wonder what ICS means?” he contemplated for a second or two, before he spun the chair around and stood up.

“I’d better go and ask Leela” he said to himself, then walked to the Bridge Door, pressed the Open Button on the panel and looked surprised when it never opened.

“Stupid Door, Open” yelled Fry/Leela at it, as he continued to push the button.


“OK Amy, you open the door.” said Leela/Fry

“Eye Eye Sir” she answered with a glint in her eyes as she pressed the open door button on the panel to her cabin.

“Amy, you go in first, then we can get “it” lifted onto your bed” ordered Leela/Fry

“OK” she responded and headed into her cabin, followed a couple of seconds later by Leela/Fry and the Dolly carrying Zapp.

“Amy, you grab the legs, I’ll grab his middle and then we’ll push him onto your bed” ordered Leela/Fry “It’s a pity the Dolly doesn’t come with a tilt feature, then I could have dropped him onto the bed” a thought suddenly occurred.

“I was going to pack some clothes for my stay on The Nimbus, while you did that” answered Amy from next to her wardrobe.

“Normally, I would have tried, but not in this body!” came the caustic response, as she pointed at the flabby gut.

“Shall I call Bender?” asked Amy as she walked over to the Dolly.

“No I think we can manage this, just push his legs and hopefully he’ll roll onto the bed” answered Leela/Fry as she started to push Zapp forward.

“I’ll take the Dolly back to the Cargo Bay and then check on Fry, while you start to pack for your stay” ordered a slightly out of breath Leela/Fry after they’d got Zapp onto Amy’s bed.

“You look like you need a rest, not more work” remarked Amy.

“I’ll go slowly, you be careful, I don’t trust Zapp” came the response as Leela/Fry left the room.

Sp’luh, he’s unconscious, what can he do?” retorted Amy as she turned back towards her wardrobe.

“Hey skintube, where did you dump the carcass?” asked Bender waving a beer bottle at the empty Dolly, as he met Leela/Fry outside Fry’s Cabin.

“We got Zapp to Amy’s cabin.” came the response.

“Left him on the floor, did you?”

“We got him onto the bed, without your help” came the cynical response. “Oops, that was me and not Fry responding, I’ve got to be more careful in front of Bender

“Fry, you’re not impressing anyone by acting and talking like Leela, so give it up.”

“Sure buddy, I’m just not myself today”

“That’s right, you’re not. I’m off to tell Leela that you’re still mimicking her” as he turned and set off up the corridor.

Jeez, humans” as he approached Amy’s cabin.

That was close, nearly gave us away. I’ll have to be quick, I need to get to Fry before Bender.” thought Leela/Fry, as she set off purposefully towards the cargo bay.

“I’ve packed my suitcases, ready for my stay. Now I need to change out of my dress as it’s dirty” Amy said to herself, wiping the smallest speck of dust off of her, before bending down and taking off her shoes. Throwing the “dirty” dress into her laundry basket, she bent down and opened a drawer at the bottom of the wardrobe.

“Ooh, my head and where am I?” mumbled Zapp as he opened his eyes after coming round on Amy’s bed.

Sitting up and having a quick look around the room he espied a purple panty covered female buttocks facing him.

mmmm Candy” he thought as he quietly got off the bed and headed towards what he hoped wasn’t an hallucination.

Amy picked up the pants and top of her clean sweatsuit, placed them carefully on the floor and was closing the drawer, when she felt something smack her bottom.

Instinctively she jerked her left leg backwards and upwards and was surprised when it connected with something.

Ooof, you kicked little Zapp and his buddies” came a familiar voice squealing in agony, before a fist connected with his face. He span across the room and thumped head first into the door, rendering him unconscious again.

“You OK in there meatball, I heard .. wow!, you really don’t like him!” said Bender as he walked in, and noticed the comatose form of Zapp.

“Bender, put Zapp on my bed, while I get dressed” stated Amy, as she turned around and bent down to put on the sweatsuit pants and boots.

“So, what happened, tell me all the gory details” ordered Bender as he hoisted Zapp onto the bed.

“I was changing my clothes, when he patted my bottom, so I hit him” she answered

“That’s all, you humans are too sensitive a robot wouldn’t care if you touched it’s ass” came Bender’s incredulous response.

“Why would anyone want to touch your ass?” answered Amy as she zipped up her sweatsuit top and turned to face him.

“I have fem-bots fainting when they see my ass” replied Bender with some pride.

“You’ll have to cut down on the beer then, that’s probably the cause” replied Amy sarcasm lacing her voice, as she picked up the suitcases and headed out the door.


“ICS, now what do you do?” asked Fry/Leela to the button, after eventually giving up on the door and deciding to sit back in the Captain’s chair.

Idiots Control Switch, I Can Save, Indigo Color Sky” went through Fry’s mind as variations for what the letters meant.

A loud knocking on the door and someone yelling his name, grabbed his attention.

“Leela, that you” he yelled as he got out of the chair and ran to the door.

“Open the door Fry, It won’t open for me.”

“I can’t, it won’t open again.”

“What did you do this time?” asked Leela/Fry as she stood hands balled up on his hips in an authoritarian pose.

“I pressed a button on the console, and know the doors won’t open. The intermail system says “You had mail”.

“Which button did you press?”

“I pressed a button labeled ICS, don’t know what it did”

“Now you’re standing like Leela, I’m off back to my booze” said Bender as he walked up behind Leela/Fry, then turned around, thumped both hands against the side of his head in exasperation, and wandered down the corridor.

“Bender, the door won’t open, I’m waiting for Leela to finish” Leela/Fry yelled after him as if to explain what he’d seen.

“You pressed the Inverse Control System button, everything on the bridge is reversed” she told Fry/Leela after turning back to face the door.

“What do I do?”

“Press the button again, everything should work normally then.”

“OK” he replied as her set off across the bridge and pressed the ICS button on the console, followed almost immediately by the sound of someone purposefully marching towards him.

“I can’t EVEN leave you alone FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES WITHOUT YOU SCREWING UP!” yelled Leela/Fry at the top of his voice.

“Leela .. err Fry, quit yelling like that, otherwise Bender will hear you” said Amy from the open doorway.

“Amy, you keep out of this and get to The Nimbus before we leave with you” came the caustic response.

Spleesh Leela, if you want to fool Bender about what happened, then do this when you are you. Fry screws up all the time.”

“Hey, what do you mean?” responded a surprised Fry/Leela.

“OK Amy, I’ll calm down, just to stop Bender finding out, now you go and have a good time on The Nimbus” said Leela/Fry turning towards her.

“Oh, I will, don’t worry” she replied grinning from ear to ear, before disappearing from the open door.

“Next time, look before you press any button. You could have pressed the Dark Matter Ejection System, then we’d have been stuck here” she declared to Fry/Leela.

“OK, I’ll try to be careful” he meekly replied

“Now, go and sit back there, while I reverse us out of here” she ordered as she sat pointed Fry/Leela toward the back of the bridge while sitting down in her chair.

“OK” as he trudged off

“Planet Express Ship to Captain Kif, requesting permission to depart The Nimbus”

“Permission granted and good luck with Zapp”

“He’ll be no problem, see you at Earth”

Leela/Fry pressed the illuminated button marked “Main Engine Start” , then

slowly moved the throttle control lever down to reverse power.

The thrum from the engines began to change pitch and build in intensity to a whine.

Slowly but surely, the ship edged backwards until it had cleared the Docking Bay doors, turning the ship to the left, she moved the throttle lever up to full power, then entered their destination into the autopilot.

“It’s been a long day, let’s go to bed” he said after spinning the chair to face Leela/Fry.

“You mean?” came the surprised response

“Not that.”

“Oh!” as a brief look of excitement changed to abject disappointment.

“I think it’s best if you sleep in my cabin, and I sleep in yours, just in case we swap bodies again.”

“Leela, if we swap back, I'll miss these” she answered cupping the ample bosom protruding outwards.

“FRY!” as she swung his hand around whacked him across the face, and stormed out of the bridge.

“Leela, why did you do that?” as he followed, rubbing the spot where the hand had connected.

“You can be really stupid at times, saying something like that to a woman is not a clever idea”

“I need to teach him a lesson for that remark, but how?”

“Sorry Leela” he responded the blushing of the cheeks enhancing the red hand mark.

“You will be, now I know what the lesson will be!”


Captain Kif Kroeker and Amy walked through the myriad of corridors towards Zapp's Quarters.

"Amy, I still don't think this right!...using Zapp's quarters" said Kif uneasily

"Spleesh, you are the Captain, so you have to sleep in there, what will the rest of the crew think?" She replied

"But, I'm not the real Captain"

"Kif, while Zapp is out of action, you ARE the Captain, so you have to act like one"

"Amy, I know you want the best for me, but ...." his voice trailing off as he noticed two young lieutenants, standing guard outside Zapp's Quarters.

"Sir, Lieutenants Lenihan and Adaoye reporting" Lt. Lenihan said with a brisk salute.

"Why are you two here and not on other duties?" queried Kif

"With the injury to his fatness, we thought it best for us to guard his quarters" replied Lenihan

"Well, my Captain Kiffy is here, so you can go" ordered Amy.

"With all due respect Ma'am, 1st officer kroeker is the Captain, not you" was the brisk, but polite response

"Amy, we're only going in, so you can look around, and then I'll find you some suitable quarters" said Kif as he leaned forward and typed in Zapp's pass code.

"Kif, what do yo... Oh my" said Amy with a look of surprise as she noticed what lay beyond the double doors.

Zapp's Quarters, otherwise known as the Lovenasium, to it's owner, was like entering through the doors of the plushest, yet somehow tackiest, suite on the top floor of the most expensive hotel in New New York. In front of Amy and Kif, was the new Heart-Shaped Multi-Sensory Bed, on the walls were pictures of the "great" man himself in various poses that were copies of classic art, including one that could only be described as 'Mona Zapp'.

The gold surrounds to the pictures directly matched the candlesticks, goblets, medals and other paraphernalia that was scattered all over the shelves and table tops.

The furnishing's were individually, of the finest quality and taste, yet grouped together as they had been by Zapp, the effect was hideous.

On the roof directly above the bed, was a painting of Zapp's Greatest Conquest, when he finally made it with a woman in bed.

"So Amy, you still think I ought to sleep in here?" asked Kif as placed one of Zapp's ill-gotten medals back onto a shelf.

"Kiffy, this place is the best, and yes we should stay here tonight"

"We?" a confused Kif replied, as a strapless bra, looped itself around his right ear.

"If you turn around and look, you'll see what I mean" replied Amy with mischief lacing her voice.

Kif slowly turned around to face Zapp's bed, and nearly fell over in shock at the sight of Amy lying naked on her stomach, feet pointing towards the ceiling, arms covering her breasts, as she looked expectantly up at him.

"Amy, where are your clothes?" he stutteringly asked.

"Well, you appear to be wearing my bra" she chuckled in a response before noticing that his face had gone a darker shade of green, before he started to fade out of sight, leaving his uniform apparently hanging in space..

"Amy, I'm surprised at you, you don't need to do that for me" he responded, and turned so that his back faced Amy.

"Kiffy, I didn't mean to embarrass you", she responded as she got off the bed, bent down and pulled her panties on.

"Amy, I'm just not used to seeing women undressed"

"I forgot that I'm your first girlfriend", she said as she rescued her bra from his ear, and then placed her left arm around his shoulders.

"Amy, please get dressed again" he whispered.

"Sure, I'll do it just for you" as she quickly kissed, then turned and went to get dressed.

"I know you wanted it to be a nice surprise for me, but it wasn't necessary, I like you as you are." his voice wobbling with nerves.

"That's sweet of you Kiffy, I'll try and remember that you are special"

"Are you dressed yet? I want to leave this room, I can't stand the buffoon staring at me all the time, with that smirk on his face." looking down at the floor, in an effort to avoid the staring eyes from a painting of Zapp, before he started to fade back to his usual colour..

"Nearly done, and it's my fault, I should never had suggested seeing this room" came the response as she fastened up her boots.

"I still have to find you somewhere to sleep, my cabin isn't big enough for both of us"

"You'll find me somewhere, as long as it's close to you, I'll be happy." as she walked up and grabbed Kif by the hand and headed for the doors.


“Fry, can you do something for me?” asked Leela/Fry as they stopped outside her cabin.

“Yes, anything you want” came the response as her eye blinked rapidly in anticipation of something good happening.

“My legs need waxing, it’s been a couple of days since I last did them, and they could be getting unsightly”

“Why are you worried? You keep them covered up all the time” he responded, while pulling the sides of the body hugging pants as proof.

“A girl has to look her best all the time, it doesn’t matter what she’s wearing” came the curt response.

“Ok, it can’t be that hard, can it?”

“Everything you need is in the bathroom cabinet, if you need help call me”

“I can handle it, see you tomorrow” as he opened the door and walked in.

“Hopefully, I’ll be me and you’ll be you” she wistfully responded and headed for Fry’s cabin.

Fry/Leela stood and stared at the immaculately clean room for a moment or two, “Wow, this place is spotless, I’d better be careful” he thought to himself and then headed into the bathroom.

The lights in the ceiling of the bathroom sparkled off the metallic surrounds to the mirror, shower rail and faucets reminded Fry of what mess his bathroom was. “If I’m to stand a chance with Leela, I guess I’m going to have to get better and not be as untidy” he unhappily mused to himself as he opened the bathroom cabinet doors.

A quick inspection of the cabinet, revealed multiple bottles of shampoo, shower gels, as well as scrunchies, shower caps and other assorted ladies toiletries. After moving several boxes of FamTax, he located the “Wax-U-Like, Smooth Leg Kit” and placed it on the top, before closing the doors.

“Sheesh, you sure do keep a tidy cabinet, and an awful lot of personal hygiene stuff” he said aloud to the now sort of familiar reflection of Leela’s face in the mirror.

Taking the box for the cabinet, he walked out of the room and sat on her bed and began to read with horror, what Leg Waxing actually required him to do.

“I’ve got to put hot wax onto my .. her legs, cover it with paper, and then when cool, peel it off” he anxiously said to himself.

Leaning towards a control panel on the wall at the pillow end of the bed, he pressed the button to contact his cabin.

“Fry here” came the response.

“Leela it’s me, you sure you want me wax your legs?” he asked nervously.

“We don’t know how long this will last, so yes, you’re going to have to do it” came back the matter of fact response.

“But I’ve got to put hot wax on your legs and then remove it, and that sounds painful”

“I know that Fry, I’ve done it in the past. Just close your eyes, grit your teeth and pull on the paper as hard and as quick as you can, when the wax has cooled, then it won’t hurt as much.”

“OK, I’ll try it, but I don’t want to ruin your legs for you.”

“Fry, just get on with it, they’ll heal in time, plus my pants will cover any mistakes you make” she irritably answered before closing the connection.

Ok Fry, you’re going to have to do this, otherwise you’ll disappoint Leela.”, he thought to himself, as he eventually leaned towards her feet and started to remove her boots.

I’ve always dreamed of undressing Leela, but not like this” as his mind wandered off at a tangent, when Leela’s shapely legs came more into view, as he removed her pants.

“Sheesh, there’s nearly no hairs on these legs” he said aloud to himself, after he’d fully revealed her legs, and carefully folded the pants up next to the boots, before grabbing the box and heading back into the bathroom, closing the door after he’d entered.

After filling the sink with boiling water and placing the tube of wax into it, he decided to make a closer inspection of the cabinet, in case Leela asked him to use anything else in there. A couple of minutes later, he gingerly rescued the tube, and sat down on the toilet, and stretched out her legs in front.

Guess I’d better do this now, otherwise I’ll never start” he thought bravely to himself, as he opened the top of the tube and inserted the spatula provided.

“JEEZ, OUCH! THAT HURTS!” he screamed as the spatula covered in hot wax, touched a naked leg for the first time. “How the HELL does Leela do this!” went though his pain shattered mind.

“One-eye you alright, I heard your scream.”, a familiar robotic voice yelled from the other side of the door.

“Bender, what are you doing in my room, I was just removing some excess hair off Leela’s ..err my legs. The wax is a bit hot” he quickly replied.

“You human females, always removing things, unlike us robots” was the laconic response

“I’d better not stop now, the wax will get too cold”, he said to himself through gritted teeth, as he pushed the spatula down the legs, leaving a trail of wax, as quickly as he could he reached down and placed a piece of paper over it.

Phew, that wasn’t that bad, better finish the rest off!” his subconscious told him. A couple of minutes later, and one near miss of waxing the back of a leg to the toilet, he looked with satisfaction at a pair of white paper covered legs.

“Hey, you do have more than white tank tops” shouted Bender from the bedroom.

“Bender, leave Leela’s things .. err my things alone.” he answered quickly.

“There you go again, you and Fry are really screwy today, getting all mixed up.”

“It’s my .. errr. time for … errr “ stammered Leela/Fry as the words he wanted use dried up.

“OK, not that I’m bothered, just never seen you this way before.”

“That’s True! Boy are these legs itching” he thought

“I’d better remove this wax, it’s getting a little uncomfortable” he said to himself, as he reached down and gently started to pull a strip off of her legs. “HOLY HELL, THAT HURTS” he screamed at the top of her voice.

“Let ole Bender help you” as the bathroom door opened.

“Bender, it’s rude to enter a women’s toilet, unannounced” said a shocked Fry/Leela looking up, quickly placing a hand over her crotch.

“Hey, I don’t care. I’m a Man-Bot and have no interest in you, honey. I know what to do, Amy said she did this to her arms, last week” as he bent down and before Fry/Leela could react, pulled one the pieces of paper down the leg at pace. The ensuing scream that followed would have scared the pants off of any ghost.

“Bender, you could have warned me. That stings!” was the eventual response through a tear filled eye.

“Yeah, but then it wouldn’t have been as funny”

“That wasn’t funny, now get out of my cabin and let me finish this, MYSELF” Fry/Leela shouted back and pointed towards the door, as he remembered that, what Bender had just done with the paper, was what Leela had told him to do earlier.

“Sometimes you humans confuse me, one minute all brave, the next whimpering like a little animal” said Bender as he left the bathroom and then the cabin.

Humans, glad I’m not one” went through his brain, as he headed towards Fry’s cabin.

Reaching towards her knee, he grabbed hold of a piece of paper, closed her eye, gritted teeth and rapidly pulled it towards him. This time, the pain wasn’t as bad, but water still escaped from the bottom of her eye. “Alright, I did it” he mentally congratulated himself, after he had a quick look. Then, he reached forward for the next section.

“Hey jerkwad, you ought to see what Leela is doing” announced Bender as he walked into Fry’s Cabin.

“You’ve been in m.. there?” Leela/Fry responded.

“Yeah, I was booze hunting, when I heard a scream, so I went to look”

“Is she alright? I’d better go and find out” came the concerned response.

“Nah, she knows what to do now, after I helped her.”

“What did you do?”

“I showed her Amy’s way of removing wax from her legs”

“AMY'S WAY! I'd better go and see if she’s alright” abruptly responded Leela/Fry as she barged past Bender and out the door.

“Humans, no wonder I drink all this booze” muttered Bender as he turned and watched Fry leave the room.

“That’s all of the wax removed, and I can’t see any difference” he said to himself, as he stood up to admire his work, once he’d removed the last of the paper after some time and a lot of willpower had been used up. Leaving the bathroom, he suddenly realised that he’d left white paper was strewn across the floor.

“I’ll tidy up after I’ve got her pants back on” he contemplated to himself as he sat down on the bed, and started to put them on.

“Fry, you alright” asked Leela/Fry as she entered the cabin.

“Yeah, look I did it without hurting your legs” as he stopped pulling up the pants, so the she could see.

“You’ve done a good job, not bad for a first attempt”

“Thanks. It really hurt at first” as he finished off pulling up her pants.

“OK, now I know you’re OK, I’m off to bed, see you tomorrow” Leela/Fry said as she turned and left the cabin.

“Night Leela” Fry/Leela replied before closing the door after her, and then sat down on her bed and started to take off her tank top before realising that he had no idea of what Leela might wear in bed, if anything.

“Guess she don't wear her bra and panties in bed, so I'll have to find something.” he thought as he wandered over to her chest of drawers. Carefully avoiding the drawer marked underwear, he opened one of the others and found her night things.

He looked in awe at the neatness of the drawer, her nightdresses all stacked on the left and her pyjamas all stacked on the right. After picking up one or two of the nightdresses, he walked over to the mirror and held them up to see how it would look on her body.

“This one is sooo Leela!” he said holding up the low cut front, green satin one. “Have to see her in this” he added, before taking off her clothing and pulling the nightdress over her head and down her body, he gave a quick wiggle in front of the mirror and stood for a few seconds admiring the amount of cleavage showing.

“I love to look at her body, so why do I feel wrong?” he thought after realising that it seemed strange for him to be ogling.

“I hope she don't mind this, if we swap” he said to himself as he walked over to the bed and got in.

To Be Concluded .. But When And In How Many More Installments?

“The names have been changed (slightly) to protect the innocent? Any familiarity with people living (or like the authors maybe come - dead) is purely intentional and apologies to be offered if required.

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