On Futurama - Minds Apart (a fanfic by Andy and Paul - Not
affiliated in any way with FOX! - “Thank Goodness”)
an accident involving Fry, Leela and one of the Professors inventions
our hapless duo woke up to find themselves in each others bodies.
decided to try and hide this fact to from the others until they can
figure out how to swap back they now find themselves having to
deliver a crate to Zapp Brannigans ship “The Nimbus”,
where Fry experiences Zapp's obsession with Leela First hand!!
to newbies to this fic and people with minds like sieves (I mean its
only been like 6 months since Part 1 came out!).
mind in Leela's body is referred to as 'Fry/Leela' and therefore
Leela in Fry's body is 'Leela/Fry'. Simple!
go read the fic already !!
Apart - Part II
I hate that man sooooooo much!" muttered Leela/Fry as she made
her way over to the ships exterior cargo hatch release.
to think I actually slept with him!”
She thought, shuddering involuntarily, as she remembered one event in
her past she wished had never happened.
yanking your chain meatball?" asked Bender, who was walking
under the cargo hatch, "Worried that General Girdle Gut will put
you to shame and get Leela in the sack again?" he continued.
eyed Bender sternly and flicked the hatch release catch.
THE…!" yelled Bender as the cargo hatch swung down,
caught him by the antenna and threw him across the room.
crate slid off the cargo hatch with a thud.
head came to rest a short distance away from his body, which got up
and flailed about madly.
yelled Bender's head "My ass is busted!"
replied Leela/Fry dryly "I never knew you were that way
inclined, now come on, quit yer belly aching and lets get this
know something Fry!" spat Bender as he screwed his head back on
and walked over to Leela/Fry, "You’re beginning to sound
like more like Leela everyday! I mean before when you used to talk
about her all the time; "Leela's great…Leela's soooo
cute… she's sooo clever"…that I could handle, but
now your beginning to act like a freaking obsessive, so either you
cut the crap and start acting like yourself again or I tell Leela
stash?" said Leela/Fry desperately trying to come up with a Fry
said Bender, his voice gaining a dark menacing edge, "something
worse… your poetry about her!"
what!" stammered Leela/Fry, caught off guard by this unexpected
turn of events.
don’t try and act all innocent and deny it, I found your
notepad stuffed down the back of the couch when I was raiding your
room for cash one day" said Bender.
lets see if this jogs your memory then Fry", said Bender before
putting on a Fry-like voice
lovely Leela you are my life, why wont you be my wife?"
did you go with Zapp when he's a complete dork?"
never seem to trust me, always watching me like a hawk!"
always there when I need you, even though I ain't got a clue!"
saved my life so many times, damn I hope this rhymes!"
wait the next bits a doozy, I cant wait till I tell Leela this bit",
said Bender with a malicious laugh, before continuing, with his mock
do I have to do to prove how much I love you!"
stood there, speechless.
you think about that, Mr. Shakestupid! Now where's the crate going?"
said Bender lighting up a cigar and lifting the somewhat, splintered
crate up with the hover dolly.
pointed the way, dumbfounded.
writes poetry about me?”
Was the only thought in her head at that moment. “OK
its not very good poetry but its sooo sweet.”
wandered off after bender, a slight dazed smile on his face.
“So Kif, I can’t wait to see your quarters,” said
Amy as they walked hand-in-hand through the corridors of The Nimbus.
There isn’t much to
it”, answered Kif.
it’s the first time
I’ve been on board a
military vessel, and I’ve
often dreamt of how you live”
not much of a life, taking commands from a buffoon, and.. Oh, here we
are at the door now”,
he said as he reached out and pressed the panel to open it.
the door had fully opened, Amy shot into the room.
a bit on the small side, and there’s
only a single bunk”,
she said disappointedly.
you think that’s bad,
I’m right underneath
Zapp’s quarters, and
that can get noisy, especially when he’s
entertaining a guest”,
he replied, remembering the night Zapp ensnared Leela.
mean we can’t have a
quiet time together, if Leela err Fry and Bender are storing Zapp’s
new bed in there”
okay, Amy?” asked a
thought you said Leela originally and then quickly changed it to Fry”
I only remember saying Fry and Bender”
quickly lied Amy and turned to look out of the porthole, so Kif
wouldn’t notice her
cheeks turning red.
I guess it’s me who is
not still nervous about being alone with me are you?”
I am” he said as he sat
down on his bed, his head falling into his hand so that Amy wouldn’t
see how embarrassed he was.
explains why you never shut the door behind you then, unless you
leave it open all the time”
she replied with a mischievous look on her face.
came the muffled response
turned away from the porthole and looked at him, realizing for the
first time just how nervous he was being alone with her.
he really is nervous about being alone with me, I’ll
have to make him feel more comfortable”
she walked past him towards the only free space on his bed, the
various newspaper clippings pasted onto the wall, showing their first
meeting on the Titanic and subsequent return to Earth caught her
the one showing a picture of them parting on their return to Earth,
was her mobile phone number, with love hearts at both ends.
that’s sweet of you
Kiffy, keeping a record of our first meeting”,
she said, as she lifted his head out of his hands, turned him towards
her, and gently kissed him.
was that for” he asked
in a surprised tone
make you feel better and to let you know, you’re
the only one for me”
hee hee, that’s nice of
you Amy. You make my life seem worthwhile after the way Zapp treats
me” was his response,
as he lent across her and pressed the panel to close the door.
and Zapp have a few problems?”
a wild and dangerous understatement. He’s
a fat buffoon and I’ll
never figure out how he became Captain”
I got that impression from when Leela talked about him”
of the things he asked me to do are unbelievable: like preparing his
formal underwear and then helping him into them. He seems to regard
me as his slave”
WHAT?” exploded Amy, “I
won’t let him get away
please calm down, this isn’t
why do you let him do that to you?”
my captain and I have take orders from him, like you do from Leela”
guess so. I’m still
going to let him know what I think of it though”
Amy, don’t do anything
I could regret later, it’s
bad enough already.”
just gonna let him know what I think of the way he treats you, but
first we’ve some
important business of our own”
she spoke with a glint in her eye
huh, you mean…”
I do” as she placed
both arms around his body and drew him closer. Then just as she felt
his arms clasp behind her back, she used her body to push him
backwards, until both were in the prone position, and then proceeded
to give him the biggest and most passionate kiss of his life.
followed Zapp, along the corridors of the
Nimbus, before Zapp stopped for a minute and leaned against the wall,
I nearly forgot, said Zapp, the Bridge is being, uh, fumigated"
asked Fry/Leela, "For what?"
while on a planet fall, one of our more, um, less particular, crew
members, caught a nasty strain of Intergalactic gonad eating crotch
lice" replied Zapp "so we'll have to complete the
transaction in my, err, ready room"
sure" said Fry/Leela moving slightly further away from Zapp,
are you … I mean is the crew member alright?" asked
yes, all that is required is for the affected area to be smothered in
a soothing, moist, medicated and ooooh so warm ointment, by some
young fresh medical ensign," said Zapp, with a misty look in his
eye and what looked suspiciously like drool leaking from the corner
of his mouth.
moved even further away, a shudder passing through him.
we perhaps get this translation, err, transma… paper work
finished, Zapp? I have other deliveries to make!" said Fry/Leela
said Zapp, "My ready room is right through those doors at the
end of this corridor"
let's go," said Fry/Leela
you" said Zapp
eyed Zapp suspiciously for a second before moving off
I'd like to break his face about now”
watched Fry/Leela go, a smug grin spreading across his face, he
stopped leaning against the wall revealing a signpost pointing
towards the doors Fry/Leela was heading toward.
ROOM' read the sign
soon my pretty you will once again be my woman!" whispered Zapp
to himself, as he moved after Fry/Leela.
barely noticed the young officer walking in the opposite direction to
grunted a cursory greeting to Lt. Adaoye as she saluted in the
glanced back, a concerned look upon her face,
dear god not his patented steam room maneuver!" she thought
shuddering recalling her own lucky escape.
that Lt. Adaoye rushed off to locate some help.
was busy guiding the hover dolly and it's somewhat tattered burden,
through the labyrinth like corridors and walk ways of The Nimbus,
towards Zapp's personal quarters.
was a short distance behind, her mind going over certain things
Bender had said about Fry and his love for her.
great…Leela's soooo cute… she's sooo clever…
Oh Lovely Leela You Are My Life, why wont you be my wife?"
really does think the world of me, even after all the abuse I've
given him, including the stuff he did deserve", she thought
"And I hate to think what would have happened if he hadn't
deciphered the note from my parents…"
have killed them…"
was shaken out of her thoughts by a shout from Bender
Fry! A little help please" said Bender trying to guide the hover
dolly round particularly tight corner
yeah be right with you, Bender!" said Leela/Fry as he moved to
me but would you be the delivery people from Planet Express, said a
voice from behind them.
who's askin?" replied Bender looking at the newcomer
Lenihan" replied the young DOOP officer "1st
officer Kroeker sent me to assist you, pardon me but may I inquire
where the lovely Captain Leela is?" he continued
with General 'Accident'" replied Bender
another guy! Who's interested in me”
She’s with Captain Brannigan?" replied Lt. Lenihan, with a
I can see the DOOP only take the best n brightest recruits, if you
were any sharper you'd cut yourself!" replied Bender
perhaps with my assistance we can complete the given task and go to
her aid, all the sooner" replied Lt. Lenihan, unfazed by
whatever, skirt boy," said Bender
help save Leela", muttered Lt. Lenihan as he walked briskly past
Bender and Leela/Fry totally ignoring the last remark, and continued
down the corridor without slowing.
ain't you forgetting something" yelled Bender after the rapidly
just hoist the damned dolly, and let's get going I don't trust Zapp"
yeah. Still thinking like Leela, will you ever give that up?"
retorted Bender as he pressed the Dolly's Anti-Grav start button.
remember I'm Fry, otherwise Bender will mock me forever",
thought Leela/Fry, as a faint redness briefly crossed his face.
Fry, that extra redness matches your jacket nicely" mocked
Bender as he set off down the corridor.
Bender" was all Leela/Fry could come up with in the way of a
as they approached Zapp's Quarters, they heard the muffled sound of
two people colliding, hotly followed by a few mild curses.
the hell happened?" asked Leela/Fry as they approached the
.. er she, came charging down the corridor and collided with me",
answered Lenihan as he and a female Lieutenant got up off the floor.
fool, look where you going?" answered the female Lieutenant
Well I know him, but who the hell are you?" asked Bender,
pointing accusing fingers at them.
Lt. Adaoye, and I think you wonderful" she replied looking up at
him, with tears of joy welling up in her puppy dog eyes.
baby, you got that right" an extremely pleased Bender answered
Bender, looks like you've got a friend for life" said Leela/Fry,
nudging him in the back, and hurting his elbow.
seen you here before, you my God." Adaoye stuttered out, staring
at him in sheer admiration.
not so bad yourself for a human" he answered
you two lovebirds, my Leela could be in danger" interrupted
Leela? Talk about possessive. He must REALLY think he loves me"
her gaze away from Bender for a brief second, and looking straight at
Fry, Lt. Adaoye informed him, about Leela and Zapp and the Steam
Room, before diverting her gaze back to Bender.
with Zapp! In a Steam Room! Oh My God! I’ve got to rescue him!”
yelled Leela/Fry as he shot off down the corridor, knocking Lenihan
headfirst into the box on the dolly, rendering him unconscious.
Bender could react to what Leela/Fry had yelled, Adaoye jumped up and
started hugging and kissing him.
girl, you sure do have the hots for me" he managed to say as he
eventually managed to get Adaoye off of him.
is with Zapp"!? .. But Fry ran off down the corridor .. Now I
know he's gone nuts" said the stream of binary data pulsing
through Bender’s cerebral circuits.
soft moaning sound drifted up from the floor, and as Bender and
Adaoye turned to look downwards, Lenihan raised a hand to his head
and patted the lump and bruise that were appearing.
Anyone get the number of that Delivery Van" he moaned.
OK?" asked a slightly concerned Adaoye
looks like he's ready to take on the Killbots single handedly."
Fry gone?" asked Lenihan looking around him.
who knocked you into the boxes while charging off to rescue Fry err
Leela" answered Bender
hope Leela tells him off for leaving us, that idiot!" venomously
spat out Lenihan.
not an idiot, he's cute, but not as cute as you" replied Adaoye
looking up at Bender with a glint in her eyes.
skirt boy, now he's ran off, let's finish delivering this crate, this
ain’t a one robot moving show" yelled Bender as he set off
at speed up the corridor.
Adaoye and Lenihan chased after him, only catching up as he
approached Zapp's Quarters.
we're here" gasped Lenihan as he stopped next to Bender.
gonna open the doors, or do I kick them down"
open the doors for my God" said Adaoye, as she pressed the
numbers 4-3-2-1 into the keypad, then pressed the Green Open Door
did you know that?" asked a bewildered Lenihan.
I don't want to tell you" she responded blushing slightly.
prone figures of Amy and Kif lay upon his bed, still entangled
together, in their kiss.
sound of something hitting the floor above them got their attention,
followed by the muffled shout of " Fry's with Zapp! In a Steam
Room! Oh My God! I’ve got to rescue him!” and the fading
sound of someone running at speed.
broke from Amy, “Did I hear right, I thought Leela went with
yeah, there’s something
I’m not meant to tell
you, but I think this will cheer you up.”
but you being here has done that already”
thanks, this will make you laugh though. Zapp is probably attempting
to get Fry into bed with him.”
Him and Leela walked past us in the landing bay and headed for the
kind of complicated, but sometime yesterday, Leela and Fry’s
minds somehow switched bodies.”
So you’re saying
telling me that Leela is Fry and Fry is Leela?”
and the only people who know are them, you and I.”
doesn’t know and hasn’t
realized yet? Oh boy, how I wish I could see what was happening”,
he struggled to say through fits of giggling.
told you that it was funny, but you must never tell Zapp that you
know, otherwise Leela will kill me.”
I’ll try and do that
for you, but I’m not
going to be able to look him straight in the face again, without
remembering what you just told me”.
I can imagine”, as she
lowered her mouth onto his and started to continue like the
interruption had never happened.
walked through the doors in front of him, straight into a thick fog
looked around him; he couldn’t see a damn thing in front of
Sure is humid in this part of the ship!" He said out loud,
looking around to find the door or some vent to release some of the
steam in the corridor.
heard the door close behind him; he turned around but saw no one.
smirked to himself as he silently closed the door to the changing
the time the lovely Leela figures out what's going on I'll be wearing
naught but a towel and she won't be able to help herself" he
thought to himself.
stumbled round the room.
perhaps Zapp thinks I'm a little tense and is trying to get me to
relax a little" he thought to himself "yeah right,
any second now he's gonna appear and try and get into Leela's
shuddered to himself, "well he's got no chance there",
felt himself gasping for air, the sweat was pouring out of her now,
and her chest was beginning to feel heavy.
it sure is hot in here" thought Fry/Leela to himself.
felt himself falling, dizziness almost taking him by surprise.
He exclaimed, "I think I just about fainted there.
Zapp would call for a medic and I'd get out of here!”
second voice piped up in the back of his mind, one that sarcastically
said, "yeah Zapp's gonna come in here and find you, in
Leela's body, unconscious and the first thing he's gonna do is call
for a doctor… I don’t think so"
Thought Fry/Leela, trying to be as rational as he could in the
overpowering heat and humidity, "It looks like the only way
to escape from here with Leela's honor intact and her, My, body
unmolested is for me to get out of some of these clothes before I
began to get undressed, until he was wearing only the small but
sensible white panties he put on earlier.
Leela's clothes in a neat pile nearby to prevent them getting
creased, he took a towel off a nearby rack and proceeded to lay down
on it in his stomach, partly because it was comfortable partly
because it helped get his mind of the two large pieces of soft, warm
and pert pieces of female flesh that were constantly in his field of
vision, when he was standing.
lay there for a few minutes, relaxing in the heat, after pouring
water over the hot synthetic coals.
was just about to close her eye and doze off when he heard a door
snapped his head up and looked on in abject horror as Zapp appeared
like a bloated towel adorned apparition through the thick steamy
shrieked Fry/Leela getting up and running for the door.
was going off in Fry/Leela's head like and alarm bell.
looked down and saw something that in other circumstances would have
made him smile from ear to ear; however his reaction now was quite
glanced at Zapp who was by now moving towards him with a smug look on
candy!" said Zapp, lunging forward
on fatboy!" spat Fry with a tone that reminded him of the real
Leela, as he pushed Zapp backward onto the hot coals, and covered
himself with his other arm.
yelled Zapp as the coals set fire to his towel.
reached the door and finding it locked proceeded to bang against it
with his one free fist.
HEEELLP MEEEEE!" he yelled.
pummeled at the door for a few more seconds.
the hell am I doing?" He thought, suddenly, "she's
gonna be on the other side of the ship, she'll never hear me"
felt himself start to panic, his rate of breathing increasing
MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I'm Trapped, semi-naked in Leela's
body, in a sauna with Captain Lothario here and I just about set fire
to the only thing he's wearing" thought Fry/Leela, glancing
at Zapp who was now attempting to perch precariously on top of the
small water trough in the corner of the room and douse his toasted
eye went wide in horror when he saw that the towel was know lying on
the bench next to Zapp.
an instant his mind went off on a tangent, back to another incident
in a steam room.
Amy and Leela must have been lying about the wonders of genetic
engineering, unless small is wonderful nowadays.”
suddenly remember exactly what he was looking at and looked away in
skintubes, quit talking, get working, this needs be delivered, today”
Lenihan and Adaoye had a bemused look on their faces, before rushing
into the room, and between them started to push the old bed towards
please help” asked a
this bed is too heavy for us humans to move on our own”
sarcastically added Lenihan.
always us robots that do the work, you losers are worse than useless
in comparison” answered
Bender as he pushed both the Lieutenants out of the way. Then
shoving the bed into the corridor, before turning and pushing the
Cargo Dolly into the room and unloaded and unpacked the new bed.
Adaoye rushed up and pulled the plastic covering off the bed, before
leaping onto Bender and giving him a Big Hug.
my hero” she said
before planting a kiss on him.
girl, leave me alone, I’m
a Robot” said Bender
once he’d managed to
unfasten Adaoye from him and help her to the floor
Bender, I suggest you go help the lovely Leela with the idiots,
before she accidentally dismantles you”
said Lenihan with a touch of concern in his voice and pointing at
not hurt my love”
defiantly answered Adaoye.
LOVE?!?, This is worse than having my Butt shielded”
I guess you’re right
Skirt Boy!” a worried
sounding Bender replied, as he backed out of the room, turned and
started to run down the corridor.
you going?” shouted
Adaoye, as she set off after him, narrowly evading Lenihan’s
hand shooting out in an attempt to grab her arm and stop her.
looks like I’LL have
stay here and guard the room”
declared Lenihan to himself.
numerous intersecting corridors, doorways and staircases of The
Nimbus went past in a blur as Bender raced through the ship, trying
to locate the Bridge, while at the same time trying to lose Lt.
a human, she certainly has impressive energy" he said to
himself, after looking behind him for the umpteenth time, and seeing
the now familiar figure following him like a shadow. He rounded
another corner, and spotted a cleaning cupboard to his right. He
quickly pressed the open button, he leaping in just as soon as the
door had opened high enough, and then pressed the close button.
stood in the dark, silently, listening, hoping that he'd fooled
brief period of time after the door had shut; Adaoye rounded the
corner, and stopped. "Where he go?" she pondered, before
shooting off down the corridor towards the next intersection.
looking left and seeing nothing, she looked right and saw a door
closing. "He's trying to hide from me" she thought,
before as silently as she could started to walk towards the door.
hearing footsteps recede into the distance, Bender pressed the open
button and stuck his head through the opening door, and then quickly
withdrew it as he saw Adaoye had stopped at the intersection. After
a few seconds, he dared to have another look, and saw that she had
gone, quickly he left the room, and ran back up the corridor, still
in fear that he hadn't lost her.
Adaoye approached the door, and pressed the open button, before
can't hide from me!" she said on entering, before stopping in
horror, as the semi-naked body of Lt. Paris, turned to look at her.
would I hide from YOU!" he spat out, while twirling his hand
near his blonde hair.
thought you someone else, sorry" she stutteringly responded,
before backing out of the room, and quickly turned right back the way
can't live with them, can't live without them" said Lt. Paris to
himself, once had the room to himself.
lost my love!" she disappointedly said to herself, before
heading towards her quarters for some peace, quiet and solace.
running and constantly looking behind him, Bender eventually found
his way to the Bridge.
raced through the labyrinth like corridors of the Nimbus, following
the signs for the ship’s steam room.
heard the thudding on the door, and the muffled yells of Fry in her
Fry!" yelled Leela/Fry, before realizing her mistake, "Leela
its Fry, stand back” she added!
heard Leela's voice from the other side of the door and took a step
kicked the door down, and was met with the sight of Fry/Leela
grinning inanely with relief, lunging towards her, wearing only the
pair of conservative white panties he'd put on earlier.
THE HELL!!" yelled Leela/Fry pushing Fry/Leela away.
Darling, its not what you think," said Fry/Leela, before
realizing just how bad that sounded given his current attire.
saw the angry glare in Leela/Fry's eyes. "She might not
forgive me for this" he thought panicking,
opened her mouth and hoped for the best
looked at Fry/Leela and saw the desperation in her eye; "He's
terrified! He thinks that he's let me down" she thought.
noticed Zapp's ample form teetering on the water trough; a look of
blissful relief on his face, his blistered buttocks immersed deep in
tried hard to stifle her laughter.
looked up and saw Leela/Fry holding Fry/Leela away from her.
I hope I've not caused any trouble for you and the pip-squeak, Leela"
said Zapp, smugly, his voice quivering slightly with pain.
looked at Zapp and pulled Fry/Leela to him, locking her lips on his
and holding her tight.
eye went wide, with shock!
felt Fry/Leela relax into the embrace, and then felt her hand gently
cup his buttock, she made a slight noise, and opened his eyes and
looked at Fry/Leela's eye, now shut in blissful delight.
looked at Zapp who was staring at the sight of 'Leela' groping 'Fry'
on the ass, wide eyed.
he shrieked before losing his balance and toppling off his perch on
the water trough and landing on his burnt buttocks,
then placed her hand on Fry/Leela's buttock, making sure that Zapp
got a good look.
broke off the kiss, "No trouble" she said caustically,
before adding "and you're really not in any position to call
anyone pip-squeak yourself Zapp."
then looked at Fry/Leela, she couldn’t help but smile at the
faraway, contented, glazed look her face had.
picked up Zapp's singed towel and held it up. "OK Leela"
she said "You can get dressed again"
about me?" asked Zapp.
about you?" asked Leela/Fry, smugly.
need to cover myself up to get my uniform from the other room"
put his hand into a jacket pocket.
pulled out a tiny crumpled but unused handkerchief and handed it to
Zapp, "That should more than cover it!" he said.
sniggered slightly as she finished getting dressed.
took the handkerchief grudgingly and crept out the steam room.
looked at Leela/Fry once Zapp had left,
I'm soo sorry for what happened," he said, her voice low and
surprisingly sincere, her eye meeting his eyes, “I didn’t
know what else to do, If it will make you feel better you can hit me
or something!" he continued hanging her head and closing her eye
OK, Fry you're a man, you're not used to that kind of situation,"
Leela it’s not OK! I was vulnerable, I let you down, and I know
how much you regret what happened with Zapp. I could never have
forgiven myself if something had happened, course I'd probably need
years of therapy too, but I knowing I'd betrayed you would be much
worse" said Fry/Leela
looked at Fry/Leela, his voice took on a firm yet kind tone, "Fry,
its alright, I forgive you, I mean you set Zapp's ass on fire, how
can I be mad at you after seeing that"
smiled at him; she saw the guilt he was feeling lift and he managed a
come on we've got to get to the bridge and get this transaction
completed" she went on.
short time later Leela/Fry and Fry/Leela approached the bridge of the
nimbus, the smell of chemicals hung in the air and made the backs of
their throat smart.
last of the fumigation detail where leaving the bridge as they
entered, four of the fumigation crew where carrying Zapp's captains
chair out of the bridge. It was wrapped in a thick plastic
hermetically sealed bag, emblazoned with the words "Biohazard,"
and "Danger - Category 5 Crotch Lice contamination", while
another two were bringing in the replacement chair.
shuddered uneasily, Leela/Fry turned and looked at Fry/Leela.
Zapp didn't touch you in the steamroom? Did he? " An air of
concern in his voice.
I pushed him but he didn't touch me as such, so no, your not
infested" answered Fry guessing what Leela was getting at and
giving her that weird one-eyed wink look he'd used earlier.
I think I did bruise my...your eye running from him" said,
Fry/Leela with a wry smirk
gave him a look.
expression changed to one of slight embarrassment.
she said "It's just that I've never seen, eh, uh...them, up that
close, I nearly fell over myself, I mean, their the best ones I've
ever seen, soo big and round and...Uh, I'll shut up now OK?" as
she noticed the menacing looking furrowed brows on Leela/Fry’s
Fry! Shut up!" said Leela/Fry sternly
mumbled Fry/Leela despondently.
looked around the bridge after they had stood there for a short while
before she turned and looked at herself.
the hell is everyone? We better go and get Zapp, and get this
delivery completed and get out of here!”
noticed the sudden look of horror and abject fear on Fry/Leela's face
at the mention of going to get Zapp.
I'll go get Zapp" he said
said a very relieved Fry/Leela "I don't want to take this body
anywhere near him"
and me both!" said Leela/Fry giving Fry/Leela a brief smile
before setting off back towards the Steam room changing rooms.
found herself back at the men's changing rooms a short while later.
gingerly entered the outer room and opened the door to the main
changing room; Zapp sat opposite him with his back facing him, his
head bowed and his hands busy with something in his lap.
watched aghast as Zapp groaned slightly, and his head lolled back.
She was about to leave in a hurry when Zapp placed a small tube of
cream on the bench next to him.
shuddered to himself slightly before coughing to announce his
presence in the room.
looked around and on recognizing Leela/Fry gave her a derisory look
before turning his gaze forward again.
do you want hairpile!" snapped Zapp.
needs you on the bridge to complete the delivery”
she NEED's ME!" said Zapp with a smirk.
just needs your signature, I got everything else covered"
replied Leela/Fry trying her best to give a reply Fry would use.
wait outside for you" said Leela/Fry anxious to avoid the site
of Zapp getting dressed and avoid being asked to help him get his
girdle back on.
few minutes later Zapp exited the changing rooms, Leela/Fry was doing
a pretty good impression of fry nonchalantly leaning against the
corridor wall whistling.
your dressed!” said
Leela/Fry, “Still I
suppose you gotta be careful, that girdle must take a lot of
it! Hairball," snapped Zapp "Or I'll have you thrown in the
thought Leela/Fry, “I 'm not me anymore, I can
get away with saying that sort of thing to Zapp, he thinks I'm Fry,
If I got thrown in the brig who'd protect Fry? And my body” she
added almost as an after thought.
they neared the bridge Leela/Fry began to make out the sound of her
dear god, what's Fry up to now?”
she thought to herself.
Zapp! I think I heard a woman calling your name from down that
corridor!" said Leela/Fry Hastily to distract Zapp for a moment
and allow her to enter the bridge before him
Where?” said Zapp with
a broad lecherous grin on his face.
that corridor to the left there" said Leela/Fry
must be one of those nurses come back for some more...uh tell the
lovely Leela I'll be with her shortly, I have some 'candy' to catch"
said Zapp as he strutted off down the corridor like a cockerel round
said Leela/Fry quietly to herself.
entered the bridge and saw Fry/Leela standing in the middle of the
floor in front of where Zapp's chair should have sat.
Log! Supplemental, Stardate 3002.17.09.15:30. After placing the ship
in orbit round the planet Xunil 4, I have discovered that..."
snapped Leela quietly
exclaimed Fry/Leela startled, spinning round to face her.
went to place a hand on the railing separating the viewscreen from
the main section of the bridge and maintain any semblance of dignity
he had left; unfortunately he missed and fell length in a classic
OK!” He yelled, getting up quickly! Trying to regain his
won’t be!” Hissed Leela/Fry grabbing hold of him by the
straps on her white tank top
that moment Zapp walked into the Bridge.
saw Zapp over Leela/Fry's shoulder and kissed him full on the lips
whilst grabbing his hands with hers and placing them suggestively on
let out a surprised yelp before noticing Zapp out of the corner of
his eyes and then relaxed into the charade.
eventually broke off the kiss, a hint of reluctance on her face.
Zapp! I didn't see you there" she said smugly, giving Leela/Fry
a cheeky grin as she patted his butt and conspicuously mouthing “LOVE
YOU” at her, before walking over to Zapp
playing his role to the full and he loves every second of it”
Zapp! Have you put on even more weight?" asked Fry/Leela
Maybe!” stammered Zapp
not ask Fry here for some work out tips" said Fry/Leela pointing
at Leela/Fry "he's in excellent shape, why sometimes he keeps me
up all night!"
Zapp and Fry/Leela looked at Leela/Fry who was standing a few feet
grinned back at them.
sooooo dead Fry!" mouthed Leela/Fry at Fry/Leela once Zapp had
looked away shaking his head at this turn of events.
grinned back, enjoying his fleeting moment of power as much as he
way let’s get this delivery finalized, I just need you to sign
here" said Fry/Leela producing the PE delivery docket and laying
it out on a nearby worktop.
sure" said Zapp still slightly unnerved by Leela's behavior.
Just let me call on Kif to witness it.
Kroeker to the Bridge" boomed out from the ship
communicator speaker, just above Amy's Head.
opened her eyes and looked down at Kif, and then released her grasp
on his back, and sat up on the bed. Kif got up off the bed and
headed towards his mirror, so that he could get his uniform
ye! Are we ever going to get this finished?" an angry looking
buffoon needs me for some reason, I have to go." as he headed
for the door. Just as he got there, Amy jumped off the bed and
grabbed his hand tightly.
WE ARE ready to see him" she said, after pressing the door
coming as well” inquired Kif his voice shaking a
I’m not going to stay in your cabin and I’ve nothing else
to do, plus I want to see how Leela and Fry are doing” as she
half dragged him out of the room.
“Plus I want
to let Captain Brannigan know what I think of his treatment of my
OK” he replied slightly uncertain as he stretched back and hit
the lock door button.
walking along numerous corridors, they entered the Bridge and stood
next to Zapp.
Kroeker reporting as ordered”
you’re finally here, just in time to see me sign this document
with a flourish” Zapp replied as he raised his pen and then
wrong, we’ve delivered the bed” said Fry/Leela.
quite, if you read the small print, it’s required to have a
thorough testing prior to my acceptance” answered Zapp with a
glint of excitement in his eyes.
what?” answered a shocked Fry/Leela as she grabbed the
paperwork, and started to read with Leela/Fry looking over her
go and get my NEW bed ready for action" ordered Zapp, while
sneaking a sly look at Fry/Leela.
Yes Captain" came the despondent response as he turned towards
I know he's your Captain, but you are not his slave" Amy said
stretching out an arm, and grabbing hold of his hand.
he gave me an order" came the nervous response as he turned to
not the kind of order a Captain should give" she replied while
quickly looking at Leela/Fry, hoping for a nod of confirmation.
Leela/Fry turned towards Fry/Leela and appeared to whisper something
in her ear.
stay out of this, it's none of your business" ordered Fry/Leela.
my boyfriend and you are agreeing with this buffoon! Spleesh!"
responded Amy angrily, as she thrust a finger into Zapp's flabby
calm down, this is between Zapp and Kif" came the response from
Leela/Fry, who looked shocked at her reaction.
treats Kif like a piece of garbage! If he won't stand up for himself,
I'll do it" shouted Amy venomously as she forcibly jabbed her
balled up fist into Zapp, making him to take an involuntary step
backwards, towards his chair.
that hurt" gasped Zapp as he patted the area of impact.
please calm down, I know you love me and care for me, but he's my
captain" meekly said Kif.
"Kif, unless something is done, he'll keep on walking all over
you, and I don't want a doormat for a future husband, you don’t
deserve that." replied Amy as she turned to face him, her eyes
wide with anger.
your husband!" stuttered Kif as he looked bewildered by
this revelation, colour starting to drain from him as his camouflage
and him, married, I've more chance with Leela" interjected a
no chance, Fry is the only one for me" responded Fry/Leela,
while avoiding the astonished stare from Leela/Fry.
spun away from the now partially invisible Kif, took one step towards
Zapp and before anyone could stop her, she pushed him so hard, that
he toppled backwards over the Captain's Chair, landing on his head
and knocking him senseless.
why did you do that?" spluttered Fry/Leela after a few seconds
of shocked silence had past.
know, I just got so angry, I couldn't stop myself" she replied,
her cheeks now red with shame instead of anger.
we'd better help him, he looks seriously hurt" a shocked
I hope you never do that again" said Kif
won't, I just ...." she replied as she broke down in tears. The
re-materialising Kif walked up to her and gently wrapped his arms,
around her body and gave her a comforting hug.
and Fry walked round the chair and made a couple of valiant attempts
to lift Zapp's unconscious body off the floor.
he is heavy, glad he ain't my brother" said Fry/Leela
think we're going to need that Cargo Dolly again, you'd better order
Bender to get it, Amy and Kif are in no position to help at the
moment" he whispered
go and get the dolly, so that we can move Zapp to somewhere else"
like the disposal unit" responded Bender with a mock salute
at that cut, he's going to need a Hospital, we should take him back
to Earth." said Leela/Fry.
about the Nimbus's sick bay?" enquired Fry/Leela
it would have all the equipment to attend to Zapp", replied Kif,
"But the nurses refuse to treat him after the, erm... crotch
lice ointment application incident" added Kif uncomfortably.
said Fry/Leela with a bemused look on her face.
it would be best if you could take him back to earth with you"
so you going to stay here and captain The Nimbus?" asked a
hopeful Fry/Leela, looking at Leela/Fry.
I'm not, Kif is captain now, I think!" came the forceful
"Captain Kif! That has a nice ring to it" said Amy as she
looked up from his shoulder.
approached the door to the bridge with some trepidation, the thought
of a rampant Lt. Adaoye waiting beyond filled his circuits with fear.
why haven’t you left the bridge yet?” asked Fry/Leela, as
she looked up from the injured form of Zapp.
being quiet, so as not to disturb the idiot” responded Bender.
look like you’re in fear of the door to me” shot back
there’s a female DOOP Officer out there, who can’t keep
her hands off me” came back the unusually shameful reply.
Got A Girlfriend!” sang Fry/Leela before a hand whacked him
across the cheek.
it looks like Fry just hit me.” thought Leela/Fry to
did you hit me, Lee .. err Fry?” asked Fry/Leela as he rubbed
forgot who I was for a second” truthfully replied Leela/Fry
you two are more screwed up than that Lieutenant is, still thinking
you’re each other!” yelled back Bender, as he stretched
his arm towards the door panel and then instantly withdrew it.
open the door for him, Fry” ordered Fry/Leela to Leela/Fry.
I’ll help the Big Brave Robot open the door” came the
sarcastic response as he stepped forward and pressed the open door
button on the panel.
go and get the Cargo Dolly, NOW!” ordered Fry/Leela while
pointing to the open door.
the Leela I know, back to yourself” said Bender as he slowly
shuffled to the door, stuck his head out for a quick look, then with
no sign of Adaoye, he ran out the bridge and down the corridor.
Done, I thought that was me for a second” Leela/Fry
whispered to Fry/Leela after walking over to her.
thought I was you for a second “ she responded in a
this swap is having after effects, you could end up with parts of my
personality and vice-versa” Leela/Fry whispered back
responded Fry/Leela out aloud.
not what I meant, and keep your voice down” a severe
whisper came back.
Fry instead of standing there whispering, can you check on Zapp,
please” asked Kif.
Amy?” asked Leela/Fry as they bent down to check on Zapp.
OK, I’m in Kif’s arms.” she responded through tear
stained eyes as she looked up to face them.
Adaoye got up off her bed and wandered around her room for the
umpteenth time, then sat down again and placed her head in her hands.
lost Bender, I not know what to do!” she said to herself
Adaoye, report for guard duty outside the Captain’s Quarters”
a voice ordered over the intercom.
going now” she yelled at the microphone on the wall, as she
passed it on her way out of the door.
think they heard you say that back at Head Quarters on Earth”
came the sarcastic response, to a now empty room.
Linehan your partner will be with you shortly, she’s on her way
and seems a bit steamed.” the intercom informed him.
sending me Lt. Adaoye, again. She left here chasing after the
Planet Express robot, a Mr. Bender.”
was guarding the room and left her duty?”
we were moving the Captain’s new bed into his room at the
OK then. She’ll be with you shortly.”
raced down the corridor, his threat assessment circuits buzzing with
activity, his radar systems scanning ahead and behind constantly.
rounded the last corner before the Lovenasium and saw Lt Lenihan
standing outside the door.
Skirt Boy what are you still doing here?" asked Bender
guarding the Buffoons quarters! Whats it look like, you rusty bucket
of bolts!" replied Lt Lenihan causticly
Touché!" replied Bender "You know I could get to
like you kid"
well pity you aint gonna have the time" said Lt Lenihan "Lt
Adeoye is on her way back here right now”
CRAP!” exclaimed Bender half in fear, half in irritation.
then grabbed cargo dolly and ran hell for leather back the way he had
come, his metal limbs flailing wildly as he propelled himself and the
dolly through the myriad of corridors of the Nimbus.
onboard sensors picked up a rapidly approaching signal, one that
matched a profile he'd created earlier, one that struck fear into his
GOD! ITS HER!" He thought.
glanced around himself panic stricken.
no where to hide, he stopped the dolly and leapt on to it. Then he
retracted his arms legs and head into his body giving the appearance
of a plain ordinary container and certainly not the object of Lt
remained in his Compact mode till long after the signal had ceased.
He gingerly popped his head out of his body just far enough for his
eyes to scan 360° to check the coast was clear.
Gotta be fast!” said Bender, concerned that Lt
Adaoye would return. With that he leapt off the
dolly and high tailed it back towards the bridge.
Adaoye arrived at Zapp's quarters and was
greeted by a bemused Lt Lenihan.
to see you could make it” he said sarcastically
sorry I was looking for Bender” she replied
Well you just missed him!” said Lenihan.
OH MY GOD! I MUST CATCH HIM!” she exclaimed
began to spin round to leave when Lenihan deftly grabbed her by the
shoulder and with his other hand pinched her nose in a near perfect
demonstration of the Arcturain Kung-Fu
sleeping nose pinch.
Adaoye sighed softly before crumpling to the floor unconscious.
I truly think Leela would have been proud of that one herself”
said Lenihan smugly to no one in particular.
Leela, Kif, and Amy stood over the prone form of Zapp when the
Bridges doors began to open before being smashed to pieces as Bender
barrelled the hover dolly through the door.
woman is unstoppable I tell you” yelled Bender.
woman?” chorused Leela, Fry, Amy and Kif, looking through the
Adaoye woman, she won't stop chasing me. I had to turn turtle and
hide from her.”
at least you got the Dolly here, now what do we do with Zapp, we've
no room on the ship", said Leela/Fry
you chuck him in the Cargo Hold", said the returning Bender
pushing the Dolly carelessly into Zapp, then throwing his hands in
the air, when there was no response from the prone Zapp.
I've an idea" said Amy
can find somewhere for me to sleep, then I could move out of my
cabin, and stay here with Kif, while you transport Zapp to Earth."
don't know if that's a good idea Amy", the new temporary Captain
pwease Kiffy" she answered giving him her best sad puppy look.
heh heh, I'll see what I can do" he answered while
attempting to suppress his nerves.
leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek "I knew
you were the right man for me" she said, blinking her eyes
rapidly at him.
that's that then, Amy stays with Kif" said Fry/Leela before
Leela/Fry could say anything in disagreement.
get the out-of-it fatso, to the ship then" mentioned Bender, as
he hauled Zapp's insensible carcass unceremoniously onto the cargo
dolly, then started to push it towards the smashed bridge doors.
watched Bender carelessly shove the dolly and Zapp through the
remains of the doors, adding a few more bumps to Zapp's head in the
Fry and Amy followed the robot down through the Nimbus's main
carridors and walkways towards the docking bays.
gave the occasional flinch as Bender played Bumper cars with the
Dolly, Zapp's head and the corridor doors and walls.
we tell Bender to be more careful with Zapp?” said Fry/Leela
came the response with mischievous glint in Leela/Fry’s eyes.
a short time longer, which saw Bender managing to catch Zapps head
between 3 sets of elevator doors and collide with several more
immovable objects the group finally entered Docking Bay 5 and saw the
comforting site of the PE ship.
work here is done, off to get some booze” said Bender leaving
the Cargo Dolly at the bottom of the steps and then started up them
into the Planet Express ship.
Bender you forgot something” yelled Leela/Fry after him
pointing at the inert form of Zapp on the Dolly.
what? To give you your proper brain back?” came the muffled
response from above.
knows!” whispered Fry/Leela to Leela/Fry.
he knows something is wrong, but doesn’t know what, we’ll
have to be more careful in front of him” she whispered
why are you two whispering, me and Kiffy already know what happened,
and Bender isn’t anywhere near” remarked Amy from just
Leela and Fry spun around to face Amy at speed.
told Kif?” asked an exasperated Leela/Fry.
I had to, he needed cheering up and I thought it might make him
laugh” she nervously answered
did you tell him?”
that you two had swapped minds and that Zapp was possibly trying get
Fry into bed”
guess that would have amused him” came the response while
sneaking a quick look at Fry/Leela’s horrified face. “He
won’t tell anyone?” Leela/Fry continued
said he won’t and I believe him” defiantly answered Amy.
now what do we do about Zapp?” asked Fry/Leela
looks like we’re going to have to move him. Fry you grab the
legs, Amy you grab the head, I’ll get the middle” ordered
why don’t we take him through the cargo hold on the Dolly, then
we only need to lift him onto my bed” mentioned Amy.
let’s do that” answered Fry/Leela with a look of relief
spreading across her face.
is easier, don’t know why I suggested the other way” said
you wanted to show Fry what his body can do!” mischievously
it’s not that bad, is it?” asked Fry/Leela, as Amy and
Leela/Fry looked at each other and gave a knowing wink.
push the Cargo Dolly to Amy’s cabin with her help, while you go
and make certain everything is in order on the Bridge” advised
my job moving cargo” came the slightly downhearted response.
know, but we’re still trying to fool Bender, remember”
shot back Leela/Fry
I forgot who I was for a second, don’t know why though”
came the response as Fry/Leela looked down towards the floor and then
gently patted her bosom, before heading up the steps into the ship.
Amy, let’s get the “Cargo” into the ship” as
Leela/Fry motioned with his hand towards the Dolly.
want me to push it?” asked a surprised Amy.
you lead the way and work the Cargo Hold door and lift, I’ll
push the Dolly” came the authoritative response.
you want to keep fooling Bender, act more like Fry and not you”
mentioned Amy as she walked towards the Cargo Hold doors.
am acting like Fry, aren’t I?” came the quizzical
of the time you are, but you talk like Leela and not like Fry”
hadn’t realised that, been getting used to two eyes and acting
it must seem funny still, looking at yourself without a mirror?”
does, although hopefully I’ll be me tomorrow and not Fry”
“I hope we do switch back, this body is my biggest challenge
ever!” she wistfully thought.
think it’s cute, you being Fry, it gives you a unique look at
life” responded Amy “but it will be good to have you back
to normal” she added quickly before Leela/Fry could shoot back
Amy enough of this conversation, let’s get Zapp to your cabin”
no problem. I’ll go and get to the controls for the Cargo
Hold” as she noticed that Leela/Fry had pushed a jacket sleeve
up and was looking for a couple of seconds with some bewilderment at
a bare arm.
walked into the bridge and sat down in the Captain’s chair.
what would Leela do?” he asked himself, before pressing a
green button on the console in front of him. A faint clicking noise
from behind, briefly caught his attention, but was forgotten almost
Crud, what did I press!” he said to himself, before
noticing just above the button was a label saying “ICS”.
what ICS means?” he contemplated for a second or two,
before he spun the chair around and stood up.
better go and ask Leela” he said to himself, then walked to the
Bridge Door, pressed the Open Button on the panel and looked
surprised when it never opened.
Door, Open” yelled Fry/Leela at it, as he continued to push the
Amy, you open the door.” said Leela/Fry
Eye Sir” she answered with a glint in her eyes as she pressed
the open door button on the panel to her cabin.
you go in first, then we can get “it” lifted onto your
bed” ordered Leela/Fry
she responded and headed into her cabin, followed a couple of seconds
later by Leela/Fry and the Dolly carrying Zapp.
you grab the legs, I’ll grab his middle and then we’ll
push him onto your bed” ordered Leela/Fry “It’s
a pity the Dolly doesn’t come with a tilt feature, then I could
have dropped him onto the bed” a thought suddenly occurred.
was going to pack some clothes for my stay on The Nimbus, while you
did that” answered Amy from next to her wardrobe.
I would have tried, but not in this body!” came the caustic
response, as she pointed at the flabby gut.
I call Bender?” asked Amy as she walked over to the Dolly.
I think we can manage this, just push his legs and hopefully he’ll
roll onto the bed” answered Leela/Fry as she started to push
take the Dolly back to the Cargo Bay and then check on Fry, while you
start to pack for your stay” ordered a slightly out of breath
Leela/Fry after they’d got Zapp onto Amy’s bed.
look like you need a rest, not more work” remarked Amy.
go slowly, you be careful, I don’t trust Zapp” came the
response as Leela/Fry left the room.
he’s unconscious, what can he do?” retorted Amy as she
turned back towards her wardrobe.
skintube, where did you dump the carcass?” asked
Bender waving a beer bottle at the empty Dolly, as he met Leela/Fry
outside Fry’s Cabin.
got Zapp to Amy’s cabin.” came the response.
him on the floor, did you?”
got him onto the bed, without your help” came the cynical
response. “Oops, that was me and not Fry responding, I’ve
got to be more careful in front of Bender”
you’re not impressing anyone by acting and talking like Leela,
so give it up.”
buddy, I’m just not myself today”
right, you’re not. I’m off to tell Leela that you’re
still mimicking her” as he turned and set off up the corridor.
“Jeez, humans” as he approached Amy’s cabin.
was close, nearly gave us away. I’ll have to be quick, I need
to get to Fry before Bender.” thought Leela/Fry, as she set
off purposefully towards the cargo bay.
packed my suitcases, ready for my stay. Now I need to change out of
my dress as it’s dirty” Amy said to herself, wiping the
smallest speck of dust off of her, before bending down and taking off
her shoes. Throwing the “dirty” dress into her laundry
basket, she bent down and opened a drawer at the bottom of the
my head and where am I?” mumbled Zapp as he opened his eyes
after coming round on Amy’s bed.
up and having a quick look around the room he espied a purple panty
covered female buttocks facing him.
Candy” he thought as he quietly got off the bed and
headed towards what he hoped wasn’t an hallucination.
picked up the pants and top of her clean sweatsuit,
placed them carefully on the floor and was closing the drawer, when
she felt something smack her bottom.
she jerked her left leg backwards and upwards and was surprised when
it connected with something.
you kicked little Zapp and his buddies” came a familiar voice
squealing in agony, before a fist connected with his face. He span
across the room and thumped head first into the door, rendering him
OK in there meatball, I heard .. wow!, you really don’t like
him!” said Bender as he walked in, and noticed the comatose
form of Zapp.
put Zapp on my bed, while I get dressed” stated Amy, as she
turned around and bent down to put on the sweatsuit pants and boots.
what happened, tell me all the gory details” ordered Bender as
he hoisted Zapp onto the bed.
was changing my clothes, when he patted my bottom, so I hit him”
all, you humans are too sensitive a robot wouldn’t care if you
touched it’s ass” came Bender’s incredulous
would anyone want to touch your ass?” answered Amy as she
zipped up her sweatsuit top and turned to face him.
have fem-bots fainting when they see my ass” replied Bender
with some pride.
have to cut down on the beer then, that’s probably the cause”
replied Amy sarcasm lacing her voice, as she picked up the suitcases
and headed out the door.
now what do you do?” asked Fry/Leela to the button, after
eventually giving up on the door and deciding to sit back in the
Control Switch, I Can Save, Indigo Color
Sky” went through Fry’s mind as variations for what the
loud knocking on the door and someone yelling his name, grabbed his
that you” he yelled as he got out of the chair and ran to the
the door Fry, It won’t open for me.”
can’t, it won’t open again.”
did you do this time?” asked Leela/Fry as she stood hands
balled up on his hips in an authoritarian pose.
pressed a button on the console, and know the doors won’t open.
The intermail system says “You had mail”.
button did you press?”
pressed a button labeled ICS, don’t know what it
you’re standing like Leela, I’m off back to my booze”
said Bender as he walked up behind Leela/Fry, then turned around,
thumped both hands against the side of his head in exasperation, and
wandered down the corridor.
the door won’t open, I’m waiting for Leela to finish”
Leela/Fry yelled after him as if to explain what he’d seen.
pressed the Inverse Control System button, everything on the bridge
is reversed” she told Fry/Leela after turning back to face the
do I do?”
the button again, everything should work normally then.”
he replied as her set off across the bridge and pressed the ICS
button on the console, followed almost immediately by the sound of
someone purposefully marching towards him.
can’t EVEN leave you alone FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES WITHOUT YOU
SCREWING UP!” yelled Leela/Fry at the top of his voice.
.. err Fry, quit yelling like that, otherwise Bender will hear you”
said Amy from the open doorway.
you keep out of this and get to The Nimbus before we leave with you”
came the caustic response.
Leela, if you want to fool Bender about what happened, then do this
when you are you. Fry screws up all the time.”
what do you mean?” responded a surprised Fry/Leela.
Amy, I’ll calm down, just to stop Bender finding out, now you
go and have a good time on The Nimbus” said Leela/Fry turning
I will, don’t worry” she replied grinning from ear to
ear, before disappearing from the open door.
time, look before you press any button. You could have pressed the
Dark Matter Ejection System, then we’d have been stuck here”
she declared to Fry/Leela.
I’ll try to be careful” he meekly replied
go and sit back there, while I reverse us out of here” she
ordered as she sat pointed Fry/Leela toward the back of the bridge
while sitting down in her chair.
as he trudged off
Express Ship to Captain Kif, requesting permission to depart The
granted and good luck with Zapp”
be no problem, see you at Earth”
pressed the illuminated button marked “Main Engine Start”
moved the throttle control lever down to reverse power.
thrum from the engines began to change pitch and build in intensity
to a whine.
but surely, the ship edged backwards until it had cleared the Docking
Bay doors, turning the ship to the left, she moved the throttle lever
up to full power, then entered their destination into the autopilot.
been a long day, let’s go to bed” he said after spinning
the chair to face Leela/Fry.
mean?” came the surprised response
as a brief look of excitement changed to abject disappointment.
think it’s best if you sleep in my cabin, and I sleep in yours,
just in case we swap bodies again.”
if we swap back, I'll miss these” she answered cupping the
ample bosom protruding outwards.
as she swung his hand around whacked him across the face, and stormed
out of the bridge.
why did you do that?” as he followed, rubbing the spot where
the hand had connected.
can be really stupid at times, saying something like that to a woman
is not a clever idea”
need to teach him a lesson for that remark, but how?”
Leela” he responded the blushing of the cheeks enhancing the
red hand mark.
will be, now I know what the lesson will be!”
Kif Kroeker and Amy walked through the myriad of corridors towards
I still don't think this right!...using Zapp's quarters" said
you are the Captain, so you have to sleep in there, what will the
rest of the crew think?" She replied
I'm not the real Captain"
while Zapp is out of action, you ARE the Captain, so you have to act
I know you want the best for me, but ...." his voice trailing
off as he noticed two young lieutenants, standing guard outside
"Sir, Lieutenants Lenihan and Adaoye reporting" Lt. Lenihan
said with a brisk salute.
are you two here and not on other duties?" queried Kif
the injury to his fatness, we thought it best for us to guard his
quarters" replied Lenihan
my Captain Kiffy is here, so you can go" ordered Amy.
all due respect Ma'am, 1st officer kroeker
is the Captain, not you" was the brisk, but polite response
we're only going in, so you can look around, and then I'll find you
some suitable quarters" said Kif as he leaned forward and typed
in Zapp's pass code.
what do yo... Oh my" said Amy with a look of surprise as she
noticed what lay beyond the double doors.
Quarters, otherwise known as the Lovenasium, to it's
owner, was like entering through the doors of the plushest, yet
somehow tackiest, suite on the top floor of the most expensive hotel
in New New York. In front of Amy and Kif, was the new Heart-Shaped
Multi-Sensory Bed, on the walls were pictures of the "great"
man himself in various poses that were copies of classic art,
including one that could only be described as 'Mona Zapp'.
gold surrounds to the pictures directly matched the candlesticks,
goblets, medals and other paraphernalia that was
scattered all over the shelves and table tops.
furnishing's were individually, of the finest quality and taste, yet
grouped together as they had been by Zapp, the effect was hideous.
the roof directly above the bed, was a painting of Zapp's Greatest
Conquest, when he finally made it with a woman in bed.
Amy, you still think I ought to sleep in here?" asked Kif as
placed one of Zapp's ill-gotten medals back onto a shelf.
this place is the best, and yes we should stay here tonight"
a confused Kif replied, as a strapless bra, looped itself around his
you turn around and look, you'll see what I mean" replied Amy
with mischief lacing her voice.
slowly turned around to face Zapp's bed, and nearly fell over in
shock at the sight of Amy lying naked on her stomach, feet pointing
towards the ceiling, arms covering her breasts, as she looked
expectantly up at him.
where are your clothes?" he stutteringly asked.
you appear to be wearing my bra" she chuckled in a response
before noticing that his face had gone a darker shade of green,
before he started to fade out of sight, leaving his uniform
apparently hanging in space..
I'm surprised at you, you don't need to do that for me" he
responded, and turned so that his back faced Amy.
I didn't mean to embarrass you", she responded as she got off
the bed, bent down and pulled her panties on.
I'm just not used to seeing women undressed"
forgot that I'm your first girlfriend", she said as she rescued
her bra from his ear, and then placed her left arm around his
please get dressed again" he whispered.
I'll do it just for you" as she quickly kissed, then turned and
went to get dressed.
know you wanted it to be a nice surprise for me, but it wasn't
necessary, I like you as you are." his voice wobbling with
sweet of you Kiffy, I'll try and remember that you are special"
you dressed yet? I want to leave this room, I can't stand the buffoon
staring at me all the time, with that smirk on his face."
looking down at the floor, in an effort to avoid the staring eyes
from a painting of Zapp, before he started to fade back to his usual
"Nearly done, and it's my fault, I should never had suggested
seeing this room" came the response as she fastened up her
still have to find you somewhere to sleep, my cabin isn't big enough
for both of us"
find me somewhere, as long as it's close to you, I'll be happy."
as she walked up and grabbed Kif by the hand and headed for the
can you do something for me?” asked Leela/Fry as they stopped
outside her cabin.
anything you want” came the response as her eye blinked rapidly
in anticipation of something good happening.
legs need waxing, it’s been a couple of days since I last did
them, and they could be getting unsightly”
are you worried? You keep them covered up all the time” he
responded, while pulling the sides of the body hugging pants as
girl has to look her best all the time, it doesn’t matter what
she’s wearing” came the curt response.
it can’t be that hard, can it?”
you need is in the bathroom cabinet, if you need help call me”
can handle it, see you tomorrow” as he opened the door and
I’ll be me and you’ll be you” she wistfully
responded and headed for Fry’s cabin.
stood and stared at the immaculately clean room for a moment or two,
“Wow, this place is spotless, I’d better be careful”
he thought to himself and then headed into the bathroom.
lights in the ceiling of the bathroom sparkled off the metallic
surrounds to the mirror, shower rail and faucets reminded Fry of what
mess his bathroom was. “If I’m to stand a chance with
Leela, I guess I’m going to have to get better and not be as
untidy” he unhappily mused to himself as he opened the
bathroom cabinet doors.
quick inspection of the cabinet, revealed multiple bottles of
shampoo, shower gels, as well as scrunchies, shower caps and other
assorted ladies toiletries. After moving several boxes of FamTax, he
located the “Wax-U-Like, Smooth Leg Kit” and placed it on
the top, before closing the doors.
you sure do keep a tidy cabinet, and an awful lot of personal hygiene
stuff” he said aloud to the now sort of familiar reflection of
Leela’s face in the mirror.
the box for the cabinet, he walked out of the room and sat on her bed
and began to read with horror, what Leg Waxing actually required him
got to put hot wax onto my .. her legs, cover it with paper, and then
when cool, peel it off” he anxiously said to himself.
towards a control panel on the wall at the pillow end of the bed, he
pressed the button to contact his cabin.
here” came the response.
it’s me, you sure you want me wax your legs?” he asked
don’t know how long this will last, so yes, you’re going
to have to do it” came back the matter of fact response.
I’ve got to put hot wax on your legs and then remove it, and
that sounds painful”
know that Fry, I’ve done it in the past. Just close your eyes,
grit your teeth and pull on the paper as hard and as quick as you
can, when the wax has cooled, then it won’t hurt as much.”
I’ll try it, but I don’t want to ruin your legs for you.”
just get on with it, they’ll heal in time, plus my pants will
cover any mistakes you make” she irritably answered before
closing the connection.
Fry, you’re going to have to do this, otherwise you’ll
disappoint Leela.”, he thought to himself, as he eventually
leaned towards her feet and started to remove her boots.
always dreamed of undressing Leela, but not like this” as
his mind wandered off at a tangent, when Leela’s shapely legs
came more into view, as he removed her pants.
there’s nearly no hairs on these legs” he said aloud to
himself, after he’d fully revealed her legs, and carefully
folded the pants up next to the boots, before grabbing the box and
heading back into the bathroom, closing the door after he’d
filling the sink with boiling water and placing the tube of wax into
it, he decided to make a closer inspection of the cabinet, in case
Leela asked him to use anything else in there. A couple of minutes
later, he gingerly rescued the tube, and sat down on the toilet, and
stretched out her legs in front.
I’d better do this now, otherwise I’ll never start”
he thought bravely to himself, as he opened the top of the tube and
inserted the spatula provided.
OUCH! THAT HURTS!” he screamed as the spatula covered in hot
wax, touched a naked leg for the first time. “How the HELL
does Leela do this!” went though his pain shattered mind.
you alright, I heard your scream.”, a familiar robotic voice
yelled from the other side of the door.
what are you doing in my room, I was just removing some excess hair
off Leela’s ..err my legs. The wax is a bit hot” he
human females, always removing things, unlike us robots” was
the laconic response
better not stop now, the wax will get too cold”, he said to
himself through gritted teeth, as he pushed the spatula down the
legs, leaving a trail of wax, as quickly as he could he reached down
and placed a piece of paper over it.
that wasn’t that bad, better finish the rest off!”
his subconscious told him. A couple of minutes later, and one near
miss of waxing the back of a leg to the toilet, he looked with
satisfaction at a pair of white paper covered legs.
you do have more than white tank tops” shouted Bender from the
leave Leela’s things .. err my things alone.” he answered
you go again, you and Fry are really screwy today, getting all mixed
my .. errr. time for … errr “ stammered Leela/Fry as
the words he wanted use dried up.
not that I’m bothered, just never seen you this way before.”
True! Boy are these legs itching” he thought
better remove this wax, it’s getting a little uncomfortable”
he said to himself, as he reached down and gently started to pull a
strip off of her legs. “HOLY HELL, THAT HURTS” he
screamed at the top of her voice.
ole Bender help you” as the bathroom door opened.
it’s rude to enter a women’s toilet, unannounced”
said a shocked Fry/Leela looking up, quickly placing a hand over her
I don’t care. I’m a Man-Bot and have no interest in you,
honey. I know what to do, Amy said she did this to her arms, last
week” as he bent down and before Fry/Leela could react, pulled
one the pieces of paper down the leg at pace. The ensuing scream
that followed would have scared the pants off of any ghost.
you could have warned me. That stings!” was the eventual
response through a tear filled eye.
but then it wouldn’t have been as funny”
wasn’t funny, now get out of my cabin and let me finish this,
MYSELF” Fry/Leela shouted back and pointed towards the door, as
he remembered that, what Bender had just done with the paper, was
what Leela had told him to do earlier.
you humans confuse me, one minute all brave, the next whimpering like
a little animal” said Bender as he left the bathroom and then
glad I’m not one” went through his brain, as he
headed towards Fry’s cabin.
towards her knee, he grabbed hold of a piece of paper, closed her
eye, gritted teeth and rapidly pulled it towards him. This time, the
pain wasn’t as bad, but water still escaped from the bottom of
her eye. “Alright, I did it” he mentally congratulated
himself, after he had a quick look. Then, he reached forward for the
jerkwad, you ought to see what Leela is doing” announced Bender
as he walked into Fry’s Cabin.
been in m.. there?” Leela/Fry responded.
I was booze hunting, when I heard a scream, so I went to look”
she alright? I’d better go and find out” came the
she knows what to do now, after I helped her.”
did you do?”
showed her Amy’s way of removing wax from her legs”
WAY! I'd better go and see if she’s alright” abruptly
responded Leela/Fry as she barged past Bender and out the door.
no wonder I drink all this booze” muttered Bender as he turned
and watched Fry leave the room.
all of the wax removed, and I can’t see any difference”
he said to himself, as he stood up to admire his work, once he’d
removed the last of the paper after some time and a lot of willpower
had been used up. Leaving the bathroom, he suddenly realised that
he’d left white paper was strewn across the floor.
tidy up after I’ve got her pants back on” he contemplated
to himself as he sat down on the bed, and started to put them on.
you alright” asked Leela/Fry as she entered the cabin.
look I did it without hurting your legs” as he stopped pulling
up the pants, so the she could see.
done a good job, not bad for a first attempt”
It really hurt at first” as he finished off pulling up her
now I know you’re OK, I’m off to bed, see you tomorrow”
Leela/Fry said as she turned and left the cabin.
Leela” Fry/Leela replied before closing the door after her, and
then sat down on her bed and started to take off her tank top before
realising that he had no idea of what Leela might wear in bed, if
she don't wear her bra and panties in bed, so I'll have to find
something.” he thought as he wandered over to her chest of
drawers. Carefully avoiding the drawer marked underwear, he opened
one of the others and found her night things.
looked in awe at the neatness of the drawer, her nightdresses all
stacked on the left and her pyjamas all stacked on the right. After
picking up one or two of the nightdresses, he walked over to the
mirror and held them up to see how it would look on her body.
one is sooo Leela!” he said holding up the low cut front, green
satin one. “Have to see her in this” he added, before
taking off her clothing and pulling the nightdress over her head and
down her body, he gave a quick wiggle in front of the mirror and
stood for a few seconds admiring the amount of cleavage showing.
love to look at her body, so why do I feel wrong?” he
thought after realising that it seemed strange for him to be
hope she don't mind this, if we swap” he said to himself as he
walked over to the bed and got in.
Be Concluded .. But When And In How Many More Installments?
names have been changed (slightly) to protect the innocent? Any
familiarity with people living (or like the authors maybe come -
dead) is purely intentional and apologies to be offered if required.