Episode Sounds: 2ACV05 - Why Must I Be A Crustacean in Love?
Fry: "Co-ed steam rooms. I love the future."
Leela: "Err, Fry. You're in the women's steam room."
Fry: "Ahhh, futuristic."
Amy: "Psst. Look what life was like before genetic engineering."
Leela: "Those poor 20th century women."
Amy: "Fool me seven times, shame on you. Fool me eight or more times, shame on me."
Fry: "Maybe he has a parasite."
Hermes: "Maybe he is a parasite."
Bender: "It's always so sad when a friend goes crazy and you have to have a big clam bake and cook him. Yeehaw!"
Farnsworth: "We, by which I mean you, will have to rush him to his ancient homeworld, which will shortly erupt in an orgy of invertebrate sex."
Fry: "Oh, baby. I'm there!"
Leela: "Fry, do you even understand the word invertebrate?"
Fry: "Nope, but that's not the word I'm interested in. No need to pack pants, people. Let's roll!"
Leela: "It's amazing that your people can fall in love so fast."
Zoidberg: "Love? That word is unknown here. I'm simply looking for a female swollen with eggs to accept my genetic material."
Fry: "You and me both, brother."
Fry: "Listen, Doc. If you wanna score, you gotta fake that you're in love. Just look her in the eye, start crying, and say 'I've never been so happy'."
Leela: "Ugh! If a guy ever did that to me, I'd know it. Wait a second. They've all been doing that to me. Even Shawn!" *runs away crying*
Fry: "Look how ridiculous they look."
Bender: "Please, he's no different from the rest of you organisms. Shooting DNA at each other to make babies. I find it offensive!"
Fry: "Ok, you're on a date. What's the first thing you do?"
Zoidberg: "Ask her to mate with me."
Fry: "No. Tell her she's special."
Zoidberg: "But she's not. She's merely the female with the largest clutch of eggs."
Fry: "Well, tell her that. And then?"
Zoidberg: "Then mating!"
Fry: "No... Make up some feelings and tell her you have them." *pause* "Yes?"
Zoidberg: "Is desire to mate a feeling?"
Fry: "Ugh, you're not even trying!"
Zoidberg: "It's all so complicated with the flowers and the romance and the lies upon lies!"
Fry: "Ok, ok, don't worry. The lovemeister will take you under his wing."
Zoidberg: "What? Now there's a bird involved?"
Fry: "Now, ask her how her day was."
Zoidberg: "Why would I want to know?"
Fry: "You wouldn't. Ask anyway!"
Zoidberg: "How was your day?"
Edna: "Well, first I got up and had a piece of toast. Then I brushed my teeth. Then I went to the store to buy some fish..." *goes on*
Zoidberg: "Fry, look what you did! She won't shut up."
Fry: "That's normal. Just nod your head and say 'uh huh'."
Zoidberg: "Uh huh. Uh huh."
Edna: "And then you threw an octopus at my window!"
Zoidberg: "I'm confused, Fry. I'm feeling a strange new emotion. Is it love when you care about a female for reasons beyond mating?"
Fry: "Nope. Must be some weird alien emotion."
Zoidberg: "Fry, I challenge you to Claw Plach!"
Fry: "English, please?"
Zoidberg: "A fight to the death!"
Edna: "And if you survive, we'll make sweet love!"
Bender: "Fry, I've never asked you for anything before but if it's not too much trouble... when it comes to the ninth round, just let him win."
Fry: "But it's a fight to the death!"
Bender: "Oh, so suddenly this is all about you! Sheesh."
Fry: "I don't mean to nitpick, super-doc but do you think maybe you could take one more whack at this?"
Zoidberg: "For you my friend: Anything." *laser saw sound* *body part hitting floor sound*
Fry: *screams* "My legs!"
Zoidberg: "Alright, alright. Third time's the charm." *laser saw sound* *body part hitting floor sound*
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