Episode Sounds: 3ACV09 - The Cyber House Rules
- Morbo: "So I gave the cookies you made to Fawn and the kids, and they couldn't believe it. They were delicious! But I digress. Tremble, puny earthlings! One day my race will destroy you all!"
- Leela: "It's a doorbell baby! Hello, little guy. Y'know, I was abandoned as a baby too, so..."
Bender: "Garbage, huh? I'll take care of it!"
Leela: "Bender, stop! It's a baby!"
Bender: "A baby what?"
Leela: "Oh, it's just a card...from the orphanarium I grew up in."
Card: "Leela - you're invited to a reunion at Cookieville Minimum Security Orphanarium." *please stand clear of self-destructing basket*
- Crowd: "One-eye, one-eye, one-eye!"
Kirk: "Nice depth perception, one-eye! Ah ha ha ha!"
Leela: "How can you make fun of me, Kirk? You're blind!"
Kirk: "My eyes may not work, but at least I got two of them! Ah ha ha ha ha!"
- Leela: "Gosh...the bars on the windows seemed so much thicker back then. Mr. Vogel? Remember me?"
Mr. Vogel: "Leela! You're worthless and no one will ever love you!"
Leela: (laughs) "You used to say that all the time."
Mr. Vogel: "Ah, those were happier days."
- Guy #1: "So, whatcha been up to since the orphanarium?"
Guy #2: "Oh, living in a box, fighting the shakes. You?"
Guy #1: "Selling kidneys, teeth, whatever falls out of me."
Leela: "And what am I up to, you ask? Why, I'm a very successful space captain."
Group: "Oh, wow, how nice for you, Leela. That's so good for a person with one eye."
Leela: "Hey, you can't feel sorry for me! I'm a space captain and you're a bunch of losers."
Guy #1: "Right, right, we're the losers."
Kirk: "Well, if it isn't old one-eye! Ah ha ha ha!"
Leela: "Oh yeah? Well, shut up, cane boy!"
Guy #3: "He can't hear you, he's deaf now."
- Leela: "Well, y'know, it's just for a package delivery service."
Adlai: "A package is just a box until it's delivered."
Leela: "Huh, I'd never thought of it that way. So what do you do these days?"
Adlai: "Oh, I'm a doctor."
Leela: "A tall doctor, you say."
- Amy: "I think cosmetic surgery's great, Leela. I used to be too cute, so I had cuteness reduction surgery here and here."
- Zoidberg: "And while you're under the knife, you could also get an ink pouch to help you escape your enemies."
Professor: "That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard, you imbecile."
Zoidberg: (squirt) "Woopwoopwoopwoop!"
- Amy: "Leela, those eyes look so great on you!"
Fry: "Bah, I think she looked fine before."
Group: "No! Uh, no. Wrong!"
- Leela: "Wow, look at me! Although I don't have the hang of blinking yet."
Adlai: "You'll get it. Personally, I try not to blink too much because it seems flashy. But when I do, I enjoy it."
Leela: "I did it! I blunk!"
Hermes: "And just in time to screw up this picture I took!"
- Amy: "Ohh, they're so cute. What are their names?"
Bender: "Kids have names?"
Nina: "My name's Nina, and his name's Albert, and..."
Bender: "And from now on you're all named Bender Jr!"
- Child: "Daddy Bender, we're hungry."
Bender: "What is it with you kids? Every other day it's food, food, food!"
- Zoidberg: "Be careful with that Adelai, Leela, he's a doctor. They're very poor."
Leela: "Actually, most doctors are rich."
Zoidberg: "What! When did this happen? You're joking, right? That's not funny!!!"
- Man: "I'd like an extra beautiful bouquet for my extra gorgeous sweetheart."
Adelai: "Average, please."
- Leela: "Oh Adelai, I've had a wonderful time today. No one stared at me, or avoided staring at me, or tried to burn me. You make me feel so not weird!"
Adelai: "Leela, you're 999,999 in a million."
- Fry: "What's so wonderful about Leela being normal? The rest of us aren't normal, and that's what makes us great. Like Dr. Zoidberg! He's a weird monster who smells like he eats garbage, and does."
Zoidberg: "Damn right!"
Fry: "And the professor's a senile, amoral crackpot."
Fry: "Hermes is a rastafarian accountant."
Hermes: "Tally me banana!"
Fry: "Amy's a klutz from Mars!"
Amy: (crash) "s'ploops!"
Professor: "And Fry, you've got that brain thing."
Fry: "I already did! So Leela - do you wanna be like us, or do you wanna be like Adelai...with no severe mental or social problems whatsoever."
- Child: "Tell us a story, daddy Bender!"
Bender: "All right, fine. Gather round."
Child: "We wanna hear this one again."
Bender: "Bender's Arrest Record...by the police. On March 3rd at 2 pm, Bender was caught shoplifting."
Child: "Show us the picture!"
- Leela: "I remember this from when we were kids. The warden would trot you out in front of prospective parents, and they'd judge you like a piece of meat."
Albert: "I'm Albert."
Leela: "Kinda fatty."
Bender: "Then how about this little number? Purebred human. No vampire in there."
Leela and Adelai: "Uhh...hmmm..."
Bender: "If you're strapped for cash, you might wanna consider this irregular unit. Cursed with a third ear, but so full of that emotion I understand is called love."
- Leela: "She doesn't need an operation! She's fine the way she is."
Adelai: "Oh, and I suppose you were fine the way you were."
Leela: "Damn right I was!"
Leela: "Shut up, Fry."
- Leela: "Take me to the hospital and put my eye back the way it was. Right now!"
Adelai: "Why should I do that?"
Leela: "Listen, buddy. By the end of the day, one of us is gonna have one eye."
- Leela: "I guess there's nothing wrong with being a little weird."
Fry: "Leela, there's nothing wrong with anything."
- Bender: "Hey, what the...get away! Come on! Stop that! I hate you! I hate you all!"
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