I don’t own Futurama or it’s characters.

Michelle Strikes Back Episode 1: Leela vs. Michelle

Futurama Main Title

“If this is our future, we’re history.”

Porky Pig doing his “That’s all Folks!” scene.

(This is part one of a Trilogy. This story takes place right after the final episode, “The Devil’s Hands Are Idle Playthings”.)

(Scene. We see Amy, Bender and Zoidberg sitting on the couch watch “All My Circuits”.

Calculon: Aw Monique tell me the truth.

Monique: It’s your half brother he was hit on the head and now thinks he’s human.

Half Brother: (Blinks)

Calculon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bender: Man, what a terrible thing to fall upon him.

(Professor enters with Fry and Leela following, holding hands.)

Professor: Good News, Everyone. Fry and Leela are finally together.

(Everybody gasps.)

Leela: Thanks, Professor, I didn’t know you’d care.

Professor: I wha..?

Bender: (sweetly) Why Leela, it only took you four years to finally get with Fry.

(Turns to Amy with an angry look and hands $100 to her.)

Bender: Here Amy, it was under five years. (Mumbles)

Amy: (smiles and accepts the money) So, how are you two going to celebrate?

Leela: We’re going to eat at Elzar’s.

Zoidberg: (sadly) Now, Zoidberg is the only single person left. Wait there is the robut.

Bender: Up yours chump, I date floozies.

Zoidberg: (sadly) Aw....

(Next scene. Elzar’s and Fry and Leela are dressed formally and are drinking wine.)

Elzar: How are you two love birds enjoying yourselves?

Fry: Really good.

Elzar: Yeah well excuse me, I have to knock another notch up on dessert. (Leaves)

Fry: So, Leela how did you like dinner?

Leela: It was good Fry, I loved it. (Kisses Fry on the cheek, Fry just blushing.)

Fry: So, I was wondering what finally made you like me as much as I like you?

Leela: I guess it was all the recent things that have happened to us. That other me coming to this universe, and you giving up the Robo-Devil’s hands to save me from marriage. And since I was the only person to hear the end of your opera, something inside of me just clicked.

Fry: You let your true emotions out.

Leela: Yes, I guess so. (Fry leans over and kisses Leela on the cheek, she just smiles.) Fry, I want to apologize that it took so long for this to happen.

Fry: You don’t need to, it was worth the wait.

Leela: Fry, that is so sweet.

Fry: Excuse me Leela, I have to go wash up before the dessert shows up. 

(Gets up and heads to the back where the restrooms are and lord and behold he bumps into a familiar face.)

Fry: Michelle!

Michelle: Fry. Um what are you doing here?

Fry: I’m on a date, how about you?.

Michelle: Actually, I just stepped in to use the restroom.

Fry: So how have you been? Last time I heard you broke up with me for Paulie Shore.

Michelle: Yeah well, we broke up.

Fry: Oh, I’m sorry. [pauses] So, why did you come back to NNY?

Michelle: I came back for you, it was foolish of me to go out with him. Fry you are the only person I trust in this time and I thought we can spend the rest of our lives together.

(Fry looks flattered, but gives an expression of refusal.)

Fry: I’m sorry Michelle, but I’m seeing someone else. Someone who won’t leave me for a much prettier, smarter face, and expect me to catch them on the rebound if that relationship doesn’t work out. Leela treats me with respect and tolerates me. [looks back and sees Leela still waiting] I have to go now, I hope things for you turn out for the better. (Walks away, Michelle has a shocked looked, but then it becomes a mean look due to the fact Fry stood up for himself.)

(Next scene. The next day at Planet Express. Amy is rushing in and is stopped.)

Michelle: Hi, Annie.

Amy: (Turns around) That’s Amy, wait you are Fry’s Ex, Michelle. Hi, what brings you here?

Michelle: I was thinking, since we talked before that makes us sort of friends, right?

Amy: I guess so.

Michelle: And as a friend, do you think you can get me a job here and we work as friends?

Amy: Wow, that would be cool, but we’d have to see if the Professor would approve.

(Next Scene. Fry, Leela are sitting at a table in the living room with Bender watching TV. The Professor comes in and Hermes follows.)

Professor: Good News, Everyone. We have a new employee, say hello to Michelle. (Michelle enters. Fry and Leela are shocked) she’ll be going on deliveries with you.

Hermes: And as luck would have it you’ll be making a delivering.

Professor: Oh my yes. You’ll be delivering a box of togas to Romulus 1 in the Ancient galaxy.

Fry: Michelle, what are you doing here?

Michelle: What does it look like Fry? I’ll be helping making a delivery.

Leela: It’s odd to see you here, Michelle.

Michelle: Why thanks, Leela.

(Cuts to the PE ship flying through space and Fry is talking to Leela.)

Fry: So, why is this Planet called Romulus 1?

Leela: It is a planet that is dedicated in living like the Ancient Rome back on Earth.

Fry: Why is that?

Leela: Centuries ago, their people were exposed with the movies like, Ben Hur, Gladiator and Ernest meets Hercules. And well they decided to live by those movies.

Fry: Oh, so is that why we’re delivering the togas?

Leela: They are for their nightly wild parties. [pauses] Fry you seem nervous, is it because of Michelle?

Fry: Yeah well, I met her last night.

Leela: You did?

Fry: Yeah, while I was heading to the restroom, she wanted me to take her back, but I told her no.

Leela: Well, Fry if you said that, why are you worrying?

Fry: Every time she dumped me, I vowed I’d never let her fool me again and I’d just ended up letting her fool me. I guess it was because I was desperate and feared I’d never find anybody else.

Leela: Fry, things are different, now, I’m here.

Fry: Yeah well, I guess you’re right.

(Cut to Michelle. She is heading to the front of the ship and bumps into Bender.)

Michelle: Excuse me, robot.

Bender: Lady, the name is Bender and don’t you forget it.

Michelle: Hey, you should get out of my way. (Shoves Bender aside and walks passed him.)

(Michelle enters and sees Fry and Leela.)

Michelle: Are we almost there, yet? The robot is really getting on my nerves.

Leela: We should be reaching the atmosphere in a few minutes. [to fry] Fry go check on the cargo.

Fry: Yes, captain. (Exits)

Michelle: Hey well, I think I could’ve gotten us here much quicker.

Leela: You think so?

Michelle: I know so, I was able to pass my flying test and I have a legit space ship license.

Leela: Hey well, I’m the captain of this ship, sister.

Michelle: (Gets into Leela’s face.) Look, you might be the captain, but Fry was my boyfriend before you were even born.

Leela: So that is why you took this job. Listen Michelle, you broke up with him and now I’m seeing him so get over it.

Michelle: Never. (Tries to take over the steering wheel and they fight. CGI affect, the ship starts rocking as it enters the planet’s atmosphere and the people are stunned to see this ship flying very low over the city. The ship heads right for their Colosseum which it perfectly built. The ship smashes right into the Colosseum, causing the same amount of damage as what the Roman Colosseum looks like, today. All the Space Romans yell out “NO!” for what the ship has done. We cut to ship, laying in the middle of the Colosseum, smoking. We cut inside the ship Fry is buried in togas. The box broke and the crash caused a fire, burning most the togas. Fry is able to get free and using the fire extinguisher manages to put out the fire, but not before it damages most of the togas. Fry then races to see if everybody else is alright.)

Fry: Leela, Bender are you guys, okay? (Runs into Bender.)

Bender: Aw Fry it is terrible, I broke my last bottle of booze. (Hugs Fry)

Fry: It’s alright, buddy, it’s alright.

(Cuts to the cockpit. Leela manages to get out of the rubble and Michelle does also.)

Leela: This is all your fault!

Michelle: Me, you were the one who was flying the ship.

Leela: Oh, now I’m kicking you ass.

Michelle: (In fighting stance) Go ahead in try, but I should warn you that being a female from Old New York required me to take martial arts.

Leela: The same goes for me.

Michelle: What does Fry see in you? You are a freak!

(They are about to fight, but stop when they hear Fry)

Fry: (OS) Is everybody alright in there?

Michelle and Leela: Yes, Fry.

both: He was talking to me!

(Just then Roman guards manage to break through the door and grab Fry taking Fry prisoner.)

Guard: Freeze you all are under arrest, lets take them to see Cesar.

(Cut to Roman palace and the guards take Fry, Leela, Bender and Michelle to see Cesar, in which is really a giant slug much like Jabba, but with a giant toga and has a few women close to him chained.)

Guard: Your highness here are the prisoners that ruined our Colosseum and destroyed the togas we asked for, now our party tonight is ruined.

Cesar: You four should be punished, or instead I’ll spare the crew and just punish the person flying the ship. Who’s the captain?

Leela: I am, but let me explain Michelle here made me lose control....

Michelle: Just admit it, Leela. You are a lousy captain, Fry doesn’t deserve you.

Leela: Shut up! (She tries to punch her, but the guards hang on to her and two other guards hang on to Michelle so she can’t punch Leela. Cesar laughs.)

Cesar: Guards why don’t you let them go at it? This amuses me. Who is this Fry they speak?

Bender: That would be this meatbag. [points to Fry]

Cesar: Then I propose this, the two women shall fight to the death and whom ever lives gets this Fry.

(Fry gasps, while Michelle and Leela just give mean looks at each other.)

Fry: Bender distract Cesar, I think I have a plan. [leaves since Cesar decided to spare him and Bender]

Bender: Alright, leave it up to old Bender. [walks up to Cesar] You know great Cesar I can help you place bets and make us rich.

(Cut to the Colosseum. The area they destroyed is under construction. People are entering the gates and walk under a sign that says. “Fight Today”. Under that it says. “All slaves, must be accompanied by their owners to enter.” and “No Togas, No Sandals, No Service.”)

(Cut to the PE Ship which has been moved outside of the Colosseum. Fry is inside and is on a communicator.)

Fry: Hello, Amy come in.

Amy: (on communicator) Alright, I’m here, gleesh.

Fry: Amy, the ship is broke and Leela and Michelle plan to fight to the death and whoever wins gets me.

Amy: You should be lucky that two women, are fighting for you.

Fry: Amy!

Amy: Alright, let me see the ship.

(Fry moves the communicator around and Amy inspects.)

Amy: Hmm, everything is a little messed up. Are the thrusters okay?

Fry: Yes.

Amy: Then you’ll be able to fly the ship back to Earth. I’ll go over what you need to do.

(Cut inside the Colosseum where the crowd is ready and Cesar is sitting on his throne with women chained next to him and Bender show up in a toga.)

Bender: You highness I have placed the bets and 90% of the people are betting on Leela to win. Look at the cash. (Opens his chest to show stacks of cash.)

Cesar: Good, place my bet on the other women.

Bender: What?

Cesar: It’s part of my scam. Which ever person, majority of crowd bets on to win, I bet on the other and make sure that person wins and I get all the crowd’s hard earn cash. You know what to do, make sure Leela loses.

Bender: But..it is a fight to the death, and I like Leela slightly enough to tolerate her being alive.

Cesar: Either, you make her lose, or I’ll put you the death.

(Announcer show up in the center.)

Announcer: Ladies, Gentlemen and slaves, welcome to the main event. Introducing first, from the planet Earth by way of the 20^th Century, Gladiator Michelle. (Michelle enters wearing a blue Xena-like outfit and people boo.)

Announcer: And her opponent, from the planet Earth, by way of the sewers of NNY, Gladiator Leela.

(Leela enters wearing a red Xena-like outfit and people cheer.)

Announcer: Ladies please choose your weapons. Let’s get ready to Gladiate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Michelle chooses a battle axe, while Leela picks a stick with a blade at the end.)

Leela: You picked a battle axe? How appropriate.

Michelle: Well, this battle axe is going to cut through you like butter.

(Swings, but Leela dodges and Leela returns a swing, but Michelle dodges. Bender makes his way down to the battlefield and has a hand full of ball-bearings and throws them on the ground towards Leela. Leela slips and falls, as Michelle prepares to take another swing, Leela still manages to move away.)

Cesar: Release, the bunnies.

(The Guards open to doors and two rabbits resembling the pink rabbits, from Life is Hell come out with manes and saber-teeth and start growling. Bender, is busy cooking a steak inside is body and takes it out and throws it at Leela. Leela gets hit in the face and wipes the steak off her face and she starts smelling herself, and the rabbits start smelling the steak and go after Leela, while Michelle just watches from a safe distance. Bender starts to have second thoughts.)

Bender: Money, or Leela, hmm this is tough. One hand, with Leela gone, I’ll be rich and I won’t have to go on anymore deliveries, but on the other with Leela gone, then my best friend Fry will be stuck with a woman that treats me bad.

(He thinks while Leela and using her spear to keep the rabbits at bay, but they manage to bite off the blade part and she’s defenseless. Bender then races for Leela and then manages to take out a stool and whip from his chest and behaves like a lion-tamer and manages to get the rabbits to do tricks. Stand up on stools and shake hands and even make love with each other. The crowd merely applauds, while Cesar gives signs of disapproval.)

Cesar: Enough of this, the women must battle!

Leela: [to Michelle] Michelle, this is crazy, we just pawns in that slug’s sick game of chess.

Michelle: Hello, we aren’t playing chess.

Leela: I know, I was just using that as a figure...oh never mind. I have a plan.

(She throws the spear right at Cesar and it cuts the main chain he used as leashes for the women slaves he had. With the women free, they started to beat up Cesar. Being a slug it was hard for him to block the blows.)

Cesar: Stop It! Stop It! Guards cease those three.

(Guards surround Bender, Michelle and Leela, when all of a sudden the PE ship flies over and lands. Its stairway open,

Leela: I have a plan. (Opens Bender’s chest and starts throwing the money around and causing people the crowd to jump in and grab the cash making it difficult for the guards to get to Leela, Bender and Michelle.)

Bender: My cash!! (Starts to pick up some on it, but Leela grabs him.)

Leela: Come on, Bender.

(Leela and Bender are about to enter the ship, when Michelle stops Leela.)

Michelle: Hello, I still want a piece of you.

Leela: Not now, we’re escaping.

Michelle: Well, I still want to show everybody that I’m the better warrior.

(With the battle axe she swings. Leela just dodges and with a kick, she knocks the battle axe out of Michelle hands and Leela makes a kick right into Michelle’s stomach and Michelle flies right into a pile of rabbit crap. She gets up and can’t believe the smell.)

Leela: There you lost, now let’s go.

(Bender had alright gotten inside. Michelle and Leela then climb into the spaceship. The guards merely stand shaking their hands angrily, while Cesar is still getting his ass kick by the women slaves.)

(Cut back to Planet Express where everybody is meeting in the conference.)

Leela: Thanks Amy for telling Fry how to repair the ship.

Amy: No, problem.

Bender: Yeah, well at least I managed to still get some of the money from those people that bet you two. (Laughs and exits as he counts the bills.)

Fry: Well, Michelle I hope you’ve learned that I like Leela, cause if we have to work together at least we should get along.

Michelle: Forget about working together, I quit.(heads for the front door. Everybody is just stunned.)

Leela: Well at least we won’t have to deal with her again.

(Cuts to outside of the PE building, Michelle steps out of the building.)

Michelle: Mark my words, as God as My witness, Leela will pay, even if I have to steal Fry away from her, that cyclops will pay.

THE END?

(This is part one of a trilogy, part two won’t be released for a long time because I have to work on it, so I hope you like this one.)