Episode Sounds: 1ACV03 - I, Roommate
- Hermes: "Fry, mon, if you're going to be living in the office you could at least be on time for work."
Fry: "I'm sorry...I was up really late poking through people's desks."
- Leela: "What the hell are you doing? You're getting a huge dose of radiation!"
Fry: "And great lift!"
Leela: "Ugh, do you know how long it's going to take me to recalibrate these engines?"
Fry: "Hey! When you look this good, you don't have to know anything."
- Leela: "Professor, we need to talk to you about Fry."
Bender: "That's right, we want some money! Wait, what's this about Fry?"
- Fry: "Hey, Professor! Mmm, great jerky."
Professor: "My God, this is an outrage! I was going to eat that mummy!"
- Voiceover: "Bachelor Chow, now with flavor!"
- Fry: "Sheesh, 40,000 channels and only 150 have anything good on."
- Robot woman: "It fits! Then you must know that I'm..."
Calculon: "Metric? I've always known. But for you my darling, I'm willing to convert."
- Leela: "Fry, sometimes in close quarters, people do inconsiderate things without realizing it."
Fry: "I know, but I forgive you."
Leela: "No, Fry...By "close quarters" I mean this office."
Fry: "Uh huh."
Leela: "And by "people" I mean you."
Leela: "And by "inconsiderate" I mean..."
Fry: "Leela! We're trying to watch tv."
Bender: "Yeah, would you kindly shut your noisehole?"
- Fry: "Hey, uh, why is the tv getting smaller?"
Hermes: "We'll bill ya for the couch."
- Bender: "The chemical energy keeps my fuel charged."
Fry: "Then what are the cigars for?"
Bender: "They make me look cool."
- Fry: "I must've really been acting like a jerk."
Bender: "Yeah, but everybody's a jerk. You, me, this jerk. That's my philosophy."
- Bender: "Let's see, where to start. Ok...this is the tv area. That over there's the breakfast nook, and over here's where you'll be living. Which is great, cause till now it's just been wasted space."
Fry: "It's kinda cramped in here. I don't even have room to hang my clothes!"
Bender: "Look pal, you've only got one set of clothes and you're not taking them off while I'm here!"
- Bender: *snore* "Kill all humans...Kill all humans...Must kill all hu..."
Fry: "Bender, wake up!"
Bender: "I was having the most wonderful dream! I think you were in it."
- Fry: "Uh...listen Bender, uh, where's your bathroom?"
Bender: "What room?"
Bender: "What what?"
Fry: "Ah, never mind."
- Bender: "Not enough room? My place is two cubic meters, and we only take up 1.5 cubic meters. We've got room for a whole nother two thirds of a person!"
- Leela: "What if I just help the two of you find a bigger apartment?"
Bender: "I don't know...I've got a lot of great memories of my old place. And now they're gone!"
- Man: "Sure, it ain't one of them la-de-da above ground places. But if you like that...ew! Forget about it!"
- Fry: "Hm...I'm not sure we wanna pay for a dimension we're not gonna use."
- Fry: "Well, I give up. What's the catch?"
Man: "Oh, no catch. Although we are technically in New Jersey."
Fry: "Not one place even remotely liveable."
- Bender: "What's with all the crap?"
Leela: "It's not crap!"
Woman: "Dr. Mabutu collected this crap while he was exploring the whatchacallit. Universe."
Fry: "Well, this place has everything except the only thing I care about. A tv."
Woman: "It's got a tv, you young whatchacallit! Idiot."
- Bender: "You know, Fry...Of all the friends I've had, you're the first."
- Amy: "aaah!" (slips)
Fry: "Hey Amy."
- TV robot: "If anyone here objects to this union, let them speak now or forever hold their...(robot in audience starts beeping)"
Fry: "Is he objecting or backing up?"
Amy: "Looks like both."
- Professor: "Obviously your thoughts are being transmitted on the same frequency."
Woman: "They're on my cell phone too."
Bender: "Madam, I believe you're mistaken. (over phone: Wow, that lady's got a huge ass!) Those could be anyone's thoughts, fatass."
- Any: "Do you think Calculon's evil twin will ever walk again?"
Hermes: "I don't know, Amy, I just don't know."
Amy: "Aaah!" (slips)
Fry: "Hey, thanks for coming."
- Bender: "My roommate's gone. And all he left behind was an eyelash and three skin flakes."
- Leela: "Look at that 5 o'clock rust. You've been up all night not drinking, haven't you?"
Bender: "Hey, what I don't do is none of your business."
Leela: "Please, Bender, have some malt liquor. If not for yourself, then for the people who love you."
Bender: "I hate the people who love me and they hate me!"
- Bender: "Are you crazy? That's Little Bender you're talking about! I can't cut it off. You're not a robot or a man, so you wouldn't understand!"
- Leela: "I can't just stand by and be silent about Bender anymore."
Fry: "Silent? You've been meddling for two solid weeks."
Leela: "Well, I can't just do that anymore!"
- Fry: "Bender! You're blind stinking sober!"
Bender: "That's right, I'm sober and crazy and I dunno what I might do!"
Fry: "Don't do it!"
Bender: "I dunno what it is yet! ...Oh yeah, now I remember."
- Leela: "Bender, stop!"
Fry: "Cutting Leela's head off won't solve anything!"
Bender: "Nah, I'm gonna chop off my antenna."
Fry: "Hey, yeah. That sounds good. Can I give you a hand?"
Leela: "Fry, don't help him mutilate himself!"
Fry: "But it's a useless antenna, it's not like he's a ham radio or something."
- Bender: "You're my best friend, Fry. I'm sorry I treated you so badly."
Fry: "Apology accepted. After all, you're only human."
Leela: "Wait a minute...you did it all backwards. Fry is the one who should be...oh, never mind."
- Robot: "Huh. You call that an antenna?"
- Bender: "This time you'll have all the human comforts. We'll get a couple of toilets, some food cookers, maybe a puppy..."
- Bender: "By the way, I saved your stuff."
Fry: "So that's where those skin flakes went!"
- Fry: "You think this fruit tree's gonna get enough light?"
Bender: "There's a window in the closet."
Fry: "This is huge! Bender, why don't I just live in here?"
Bender: "In a closet? *sigh* Humans..."
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