Episode Sounds: 1ACV06 - A Fishful of Dollars
- Professor: "Good morning, class. I trust you've all prepared for today's final exam."
Fry: "Uh, excuse me, I missed a few lectures. What subject is this?"
Professor: "Ancient Egyptian Algebra."
Fry: *gasp* "What a nightmare!"
Professor: "Mr. Fry! Are those your underpants?"
- Fry: "What a weird dream! I'll never get back to sleep." *snore*
- Leela: "Didn't you have ads in the 20th century?"
Fry: "Well sure, but not in our dreams! Only on tv and radio...and in magazines...and movies. And at ball games, on buses, and milk cartons, and t-shirts, and bananas, and written on the sky. But not in dreams! No sirree."
- Amy: "Hey Bender! Great new sweater."
Bender: "What sweater? I came in with it! I don't know you people."
- Fry: "Do you take Visa?"
Clerk: "Visa hasn't existed for five hundred years."
Fry: "American Express?"
Clerk: "Six hundred years."
Fry: "Discover Card?"
Clerk: "Hmm...sorry, we don't take Discover."
- Fry: "Hey Bender, sounds like you could use a little of that oil." *crash*
Bender: "Um...I'm boned."
Policeman: "Freeze, scuzzbot!"
Bender: "Uh, there's obviosly been some sort of a mistake here." *more crashing* "I'm sure there's..." *crash* I say, I'm sure there's... *crash* That is, I'm sure there's a very reasonable... *crash*
- Amy: "Do we have enough money to pay Bender's fine?"
Fry: "Seventy-eight...Seventy-nine...$79.50...crud! We're $.50 short."
Leela: "I'd love to chip in, but Bender stole my wallet."
- Woman: "Hmm...we don't seem to have you retina scan, your fingerprint or your colonic map on file."
Fry: "Yeah, well, I did open the account over a thousand years ago. What about my ATM card?"
Woman: "Do you still remember your PIN number?"
Fry: "Sure. It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda back where I used to work. Panucci's Pizza."
Woman: "Ok, you had a balance of $.93..."
Fry: "All right."
Woman: "And, at an average of two and a quarter per cent interest over a period of one thousand years, that comes to...$4.3 billion."
Fry: (hyperventilates and passes out)
- Leela: "I know Fry's rich, but do we really have to wear these top hats?"
Bender: "Maybe you don't understand just how rich he is. In fact, I think I'd better put on a monocle."
- Fry: "Just keep the tab under $50 million."
Robot: "Yo, I haven't got all day. What kinda pizza yous guys want?"
Fry: "Uh, yeah. We'll have one with everything but anchovies and one with my all time favorite topping, anchovies."
Robot: "Invalid selection. Yo, whaddaya talkin about?"
Fry: "Anchovies! Y'know, those little headless fish."
Robot: "Does not compute. Does not compute." (explodes)
Professor: "I'm sorry Fry, but the anchovy has been extinct since the 2200s."
Professor: "Oh my, yes. Fished to death. Just about the time your people arrived on earth, wasn't it, Zoidberg?"
Zoidberg: "I'm not on trial here!"
- Auctioneer: "Now our final item - this unopened can of Angry Norwegian brand anchovies ca. 1997."
Auctioneer: "The last known can in existence, guaranteed fresh and edible."
- Leela: "Fry, you can't bid against Mom! She's the richest, most powerful person in the world. And she's so adorable!"
- Fry: "One jillion dollars!" *collective gasp*
Auctioneer: "Sir, that's not a number." *collective gasp*
- Fry: "Now if you'll excuse me, it's 8:00. Time to get busy." (starts listening to "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-a-lot)
Leela: "You can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music."
- Fry: "Maybe you can't understand this, but I finally found what I need to be happy. And it's not friends. It's things."
Bender: "I'm a thing!"
- Mom: "It's those damned anchovies! That dirtbag Fry must know their secret, and I won't rest until I get my hands on them. No one messes with Mom." *laughs maniacally, sons join*
Son: "Quiet, you!"
- Mom: "A single drop of the anchovy's natural oil would lubricate ten robots permanently."
Son: "Wow, it's a shame they went extinct."
Mom: "No it isn't! Shut your filthy clam!" *slap* "Thank you, Walt."
- Son: "My God...this Mr. Fry must be a mastermind of the highest order."
- Mom: "You know what needs to be done."
Mom: "Get his PIN number, you idiots! Now I'm off to some charity BS for knocked-up teenage sluts."
- Son: "And if you need further proof that this is really a thousand years ago...well, here's contemporary actress Pamela Anderson!"
Pamela: "Hello, Fry. Remember me from Baywatch: The Movie?"
Pamela: "It was the first movie to be shot entirely in slow motion!"
Son: "It hasn't been made yet."
Pamela: "Then he doesn't know I won the Oscar?"
- Fry: "What can I get you?"
Pamela: "Oh, I'll have a cheese pizza and a large...uh...line!"
Pamela: "Oh, right...cheese pizza and a large soda!"
- Leela: "You're Fry's relative. Do you have any idea how he got so crazy?"
Professor: "Uh, wha? Oh, yeah, they say madness runs in our family. Some even call me mad. And why? Because I dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters, atomic supermen with octagonal shaped bodies that suck blood...."
- Fry: "You might as well put that checkbook away, because I've discovered something even more important. My friends. And they aren't worth even a penny to me! That's why these anchovies are going on a pizza, so I can share the food I love with the people I like."
Mom: "Holy hell! You're going to eat them? Oh! Well, now just make sure you eat them all, you're a growing boy. Toodleoo, dumbass."
Fry: "What a nice lady."
- Fry: "Ok, my friends, get ready for the most delicious extinct animal you've ever tasted!"
Amy: "I dunno, I've had cow."
- Zoidberg: "That stench, that heavenly stench!" *gobbles up the anchovies* "More.
Fry: "There aren't any more, and there never will be."
Zoidberg: "More! More! Mooore! Bleaargh!"
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