Episode Sounds: 1ACV11 - Mars University
Alternative Futurama Theme: Mars U
Farnsworth: "Good news, everyone! We've got a very special delivery today."
Fry: "Who's it going to?"
Bender: "Another job well done."
Farnsworth: "Well, in those days, Mars was just a dreary uninhabitable wasteland. Much like Utah. But unlike Utah, it was eventually made livable."
Oily: "Bender? Wow! You're a legend around here."
Fatbot: "I heard that in one single night, you drank a whole keg, streaked across campus and crammed 58 humans into a phone booth."
Bender: "Yeah, well, a lot of them were children."
Fry: "I'm a certified college dropout."
Leela: "Please... Everyone knows 20th century colleges were basically expensive day care centers."
Farnsworth: "That's true. By current academic standards, you're merely a high school dropout."
Fry: "What?! That's not fair. I deserve the same respect any other college dropout gets. By God, I'm going to enroll here at Mars University and drop out all over again!"
Fry: "Hey, Professor, what are you teaching this semester?"
Farnsworth: "Same thing I teach every semester. The mathematics of quantum neutrino fields. I made up the title so that no student would dare take it."
Fry: "Mathematics of wanton burrito meals. I'll be there!"
Farnsworth: "Please, Fry! I don't know how to teach. I'm a professor!"
Leela: "So what makes Gunther talk?"
Fry: "Is he genetically engineered?"
Farnsworth: "Oh, please. That's preposterous science fiction mumbo jumbo. Gunther's intelligence actually lies in his electronium hat, which harnesses the power of sunspots to produce cognitive radiation."
Farnsworth: "Fry, that monkey is my most important experiment. If you two don't stop fighting I'll have you both neutered."
Fry: "Hehe, that'll show him."
Leela: "What you did to Gunther was cruel. At the risk of sounding like an after-school special: I think we learned who the real animal was today."
Fry: "You mean peer pressure?"
Farnsworth: "Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn't I break his legs??"
Leela: "So he just ran away in the middle of the exam?"
Farnsworth: "I'm afraid so. All he handed in was a paper smeared with feces. He tied with Fry."
Farnsworth: "Come on, Gunther. Take the hat!"
Fry: "No, the banana. The banana!"
Farnsworth: "Consider the philosophical and metaphysical ramifications of the ..."
Fry: "Banana, banana, banana!"
Leela: "Climb up the vine! You can still save yourself!"
Gunther: "Why bother? I've got nothing to live for. I was miserable as a genius and as a monkey I was so dumb I tried to wear a hat on my butt!"
Fry: *snort* "Hehehehe"
Gunther: "There's just no place for me in this world. Although, on the other hand..." *snap* "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa." *splash*
Farnsworth: "Oh, that poor sweet monkey. Well, let's go gather him up. There's no sense letting him go to waste."
Farnsworth: "But, what about your super-intelligence?"
Gunther: "When I had that there was too much pressure to use it. All I want out of life is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit. That's why I've decided to transfer to business school!"
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