Episode Sounds: 2ACV02 - Brannigan Begin Again
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- Farnsworth: "Good news everyone! We a mission to further the noble cause of peace."
Bender: "Nope! Watching cartoons."
- Fry: "DOOP? What's that?"
Farnsworth: "It's similar to the United Nations from your time, Fry."
Hermes: "Uh or like the Federation from your Star Trek program."
- Zapp: "I hate these filthy neutrals Kif! With enemies you know where they stand but with neutrals? Who knows! It sickens me."
- Zapp: "How very neutral of you!"
- Zapp: "Rock crushes scissors! But paper covers rock. And scissors cuts paper! Kif, we have a conundrum."
Zapp: "Search them for paper! And ... bring me a rock!"
- Zapp: "Sooo beautiful, yet so neutral."
- Zapp: "What makes a man turn neutral ... Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?"
- Kif: "Sir, I don't think that's wise."
Zapp: "Kif ... If there's one thing I don't need, it's your 'I don't think that's wise' attitude."
- Zapp: "Please point out the person in this court room you had sex with."
Leela: *sigh* *points at Zapp*
Zapp: "And his name is ...."
Leela: "Zapp Brannigan."
Zapp: "The very same Zapp Brannigan who did not blow up DOOP HQ. I rest my case."
- Zapp: "My friends! You can take away a man's title and his uniform but you can never take away his integrity or his honour. Plus it was mostly Kif's fault."
DOOP official: "Kif Kroker. You are also stripped of your rank and dishonourably dischacharged."
Kif: "I, I ..." *sigh*
- Zapp: "One day a man has everything and the next day he blows up a 4 hundred billion dollar space station and the next day he has nothing. It makes you think ..."
Kif: "No it doesn't."
- Zapp: "It's time to begin our life as civilians... That's an order soldier!"
- Leela: "Alright ... This is the third hose-fight that's broken up today. And the second one using actual hoses!"
- Zapp: "Leela! I didn't know where else to turn. You are the only woman who ever loved me."
Leela: "I *never* loved you."
Zapp: "I mean physically."
- Zapp: "Perhaps I could paint the fence, or .. service you sexually! Or mob the floors!"
Leela: "You don't know how to do any of those things."
Zapp: "Kif might!"
- Farnsworth: "I'd like everyone to meet our new employees. ... *whispers* Which ones are new?"
Hermes: "The green dude, and the fat mon."
Farnsworth: "Hmmm, I could swear I've never seen that robot before either."
Bender: "I'm Bender. You know? The lovable rascal."
Farnsworth: "Ohh, yes!"
- Fry: "She is really strict."
Bender: "And mean!"
Zapp: "I see! Does she by any chance give the crew members spankings?"
Fry: "No, she just makes do work and stuff."
Zapp: "Good, good. But should she ever institute some sort of bare bottom spanking policy: Let me go in your place."
- Zapp: "Let me ask you a serious question Leela: Does the company that made your bra make a girdle as well? I ask because a friend of mine ..."
- Bender: "This is all Leela's fault!"
Fry: "Yeah! If she'd let us use the back-up dolly, we could've broken it, given up and gone home by now"
- Kif: "Zapp's not captain anymore! I'm free! Uh, you hear that? I'm actually laughing!"
Fry: "This is a mutiny!"
- Bender: "Don't worry Leela. Soon we will be able to look back on this and laugh." *pause* "Muhuhahahaha!"
- Zapp: "I have a plan! We will single-handedly attack our arch-enemy: The neutral planet!"
Kif: "Oh jeez."
Zapp: "Once the neutral war machine lies in ruins, I will be a hero again. And the DOOP will reinstate me as captain."
Kif: "But sir, that plane makes no sense."
- Fry: "This is awesome! We're gonna be like *pow pow pow* And they're are gonna be like *whuaaaa! prccchhhhh pruuuchhh* And then we'll have pancakes to celebrate and [?] *mummpfglmmpmp*"
- Zapp: "Fly the white flag of war!"
- Fry: "Wait a second! Is this plan gonna kill us?"
Zapp: "Of course! What did you think I meant by loyalty"
- Neutral Official: "Your neutralness, it's a beige alert."
Neutral Leader: "If I don't survive, tell my wife: Hello."
- Zapp "Whoopsy daisy"