Episode Sounds: 3ACV11 -Insane in the Mainframe
Speaker: "Futurama is brought to you by: Thompson's Teeth - The only teeth strong enough to eat other teeth."
Zoidberg: "Ah, the years! So many memories! So many strange fluids gushing out of patients' bodies."
Hermes: "Yes, yes, now here is your pension statement. It's empty because you haven't paid into it you dumb stink bug!"
Zoidberg: "You kept track of it all these years."
Bender: "I thought you were retired."
Fry: "Hey, I don't see you planning for your old age."
Bender: "I got plans. I'm gonna turn my on/off switch to off."
Roberto: "Geez. I've seen lines move faster in the sperm bank."
Bender: "That's for su.. Roberto, is that you?"
Roberto: "Bender! Hey man!"
Bender: "You old lunatic, how ya been?"
Roberto: "Ah, not bad, not bad. EVERYBODY ON THE FLOOR, THIS IS A STICK UP."
Bender: "Yeah, I'm doing OK, too. I'm taking a chinese cooking class at the learning annex."
Roberto: "Cool. Can you give me a hand here?"
Police Officer: "Freeze punks! You are under arrest!"
Nixon's Head: "Shoot them in the back, quick, while they're not looking."
Judge: "Charge is bank robbery. Now, my caddy chauffeur informs me that a bank is a place where people put money that is improperly invested. Therefore, robbing a bank is tantamount to that most heinous of crimes: Theft of money."
Fry: "You're right. You're right. It was ..." *phone rings*
Judge: "Yes? What? You say if I testify I'll be killed? Oh, it's for you."
Roberto: "And the other hamburger will also be made of your lungs. So long pal."
Fry: "I refuse to testify on the grounds that my organs will be chopped up into a patty."
Judge: "Ah, the 67th amendment"
Judge: "Counsellor, what evidence do you offer to support this new plea of insanity?"
Counsellor: "Well, for one, they done hired me to represent them."
Judge: "Insanity plea is accepted!"
NurseBot: "He is very excitable. So don't say anything to surprise him."
Malfunctioning Eddie: "Pleased to meet you."
Fry: "Actually, we have met once before."
Malfunctioning Eddie: "WHAT?!" *boom*
Bot 1: "Still picking up transmissions from the CIA on your teeth?"
Bot 2: "They just won't stop!"
CIA: "The CIA cafeteria menu for the week of May 15th is as follows: Monday: shepherd's pie. Tuesday:..."
Fry: "Bender, I can't take much more of this. I want out of here."
Bender: "You crazy? This place is great! Electro shock whenever you want it, two Lincolns for every Napoleon. Ah, sweet light crude"
Victor: "The doctor says you are making great strides with your exploding problem."
Malfunctioning Eddie: "Well the way I se..." *boom*
Fry: "Help me! For god's sake! Help me!"
Professor: "Oh don't worry Fry. I too once spent a nightmarish time in a robot asylum, but now it's nearly over. So long!"
DoctorBot: "You are being released."
Fry: "Finally, sweet justice, sweet juicy justice!"
DoctorBot: "Not you, him."
Malfunctioning Eddie: "Me? What a surprise!" *puff* "Look I barely exploded at all."
DoctorBot: "We can control that with medication."
Roberto: "Now stand back, I gotta practice my stabbing."
Fry: "No please, help stop it! police!"
Bender: "Ey keep it down in there, I'm tuning my banjo"
Roberto: "Geez, Red, quit cowering. You call yourself a robot?"
Fry: "I'm not a robot.I'M NOT A ROBOT"
Zoidberg: "Listen to me, Fry. Just because you think you're a robot doesn't make you a robot. After all, I think I'm a doctor but that doesn't make me a doctor. These fancy clothes do."
Fry: "Negative. I must be a robot. Why else would human women refuse to date me?"
Leela: "Oh...lots of reasons."
Roberto: "Hey Bender!"
Bender: "Roberto! What a surprise to see you in here! That's because I didn't squeal on you, remember? Remember all that squealing I didn't do? Remember, do ya?"
Roberto: "Yeah, yeah. Now lie down and play dead - and don't ham it up."
Bender: "Uh, sure. Anything for you, buddy!"
Bender: "What's with the getup?"
Roberto: "I'm in disguise cause I'm thinking of escaping. You in? Or do I gotta kill you so you don't squeal?"
Bender: "I'm in, I'm in! So, where were you planning the breakout?"
Roberto: "I'm thinking...maybe a few seconds ago."
Fry: "Fear not, for I shall assist ye!"
Hermes: "Robots don't say 'ye'!"
Fry: "Relax, mammal! My robotic software shall meet your calculatory needs. What is the meaning of this symbol?"
Hermes: "That's a plus sign, you pointy-haired loony! Quit thinking you're a robot!"
Fry: "I'll show ye!"
Leela: "I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can."
Professor: "You're going to do his laundry?" *slap*
Leela: "Fry, this is for you." *kisses him*
Leela: "Oh, for God's sake!"
Zoidberg: "But a scallop's forelocks! What's with all the beer, Fry?"
Fry: "Alcohol fuels my power cells. And as a mighty robot, I..." *belches and collapses* "Beep!" *snore*
Roberto: "Hands up! This is a stickup again!"
Bender: "Wow, hitting the same place three times? I admire your style, Roberto."
Roberto: "Gimme the remaining dough. And all the calendars. And that pen! Try to tear it so most of the beads are on my end!"
Amy: "Aww...he looks like a little insane drunken angel."
Roberto: "Back off, I got hostages!"
Zoidberg: "Hooray, I'm helping!"
Police: "Do you have any better hostages?"
Roberto: "To show them who's crazy, I'll execute some of you. How 'bout you?"
Professor: "Ouch! That's going to bleed when my heart beats."
Leela: "Wait! Take me first!"
Bender: "Yes! Take her first."
Roberto: "Shut up! Stop telling me how to do this!"
Roberto: "I'm gonna kill you, you...you no-good fifty-sixing..."
Bender: "Don't kill me yet! I'm starting to come down with Stockholm symdrome!"
Fry: "I am a battledroid, sworn to protect the weak from crazy robots."
Roberto: "I'm not crazy. Don't call me crazy! I'm just not user-friendly!"
Hermes: "Fry, don't be a hero! It's not covered by the health plan!"
Robot Officer: "Hey, baby. Wash that off before you put it back."
Bender: "But inside, you've got the heart of a robot."
Fry: "Aww...thanks, Bender."
Bender: "Just like inside me, I've got the heart of a human!" *takes a human heart from his chest compartment and shows it to the others, to their shock and horror* "What?"
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