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Episode Sounds: 3ACV11 -Insane in the Mainframe

  1. Speaker: "Futurama is brought to you by: Thompson's Teeth - The only teeth strong enough to eat other teeth."
    (download 28kb)
  2. Zoidberg: "Ah, the years! So many memories! So many strange fluids gushing out of patients' bodies."
    Hermes: "Yes, yes, now here is your pension statement. It's empty because you haven't paid into it you dumb stink bug!"
    Zoidberg: "You kept track of it all these years."
    (download 56kb)
  3. Bender: "I thought you were retired."
    Fry: "Hey, I don't see you planning for your old age."
    Bender: "I got plans. I'm gonna turn my on/off switch to off."
    (download 22kb)
  4. Roberto: "Geez. I've seen lines move faster in the sperm bank."
    Bender: "That's for su.. Roberto, is that you?"
    Roberto: "Bender! Hey man!"
    Bender: "You old lunatic, how ya been?"
    Roberto: "Ah, not bad, not bad. EVERYBODY ON THE FLOOR, THIS IS A STICK UP."
    Bender: "Yeah, I'm doing OK, too. I'm taking a chinese cooking class at the learning annex."
    Roberto: "Cool. Can you give me a hand here?"
    (download 85kb)
  5. Police Officer: "Freeze punks! You are under arrest!"
    Nixon's Head: "Shoot them in the back, quick, while they're not looking."
    (download 29kb)
  6. Judge: "Charge is bank robbery. Now, my caddy chauffeur informs me that a bank is a place where people put money that is improperly invested. Therefore, robbing a bank is tantamount to that most heinous of crimes: Theft of money."
    (download 51kb)
  7. Fry: "You're right. You're right. It was ..." *phone rings*
    Judge: "Yes? What? You say if I testify I'll be killed? Oh, it's for you."
    Roberto: "And the other hamburger will also be made of your lungs. So long pal."
    Fry: "I refuse to testify on the grounds that my organs will be chopped up into a patty."
    Judge: "Ah, the 67th amendment"
    (download 77kb)
  8. Judge: "Counsellor, what evidence do you offer to support this new plea of insanity?"
    Counsellor: "Well, for one, they done hired me to represent them."
    Judge: "Insanity plea is accepted!"
    (download 32kb)
  9. NurseBot: "He is very excitable. So don't say anything to surprise him."
    Malfunctioning Eddie: "Pleased to meet you."
    Fry: "Actually, we have met once before."
    Malfunctioning Eddie: "WHAT?!" *boom*
    (download 37kb)
  10. Bot 1: "Still picking up transmissions from the CIA on your teeth?"
    Bot 2: "They just won't stop!"
    CIA: "The CIA cafeteria menu for the week of May 15th is as follows: Monday: shepherd's pie. Tuesday:..."
    (download 48kb)
  11. Fry: "Bender, I can't take much more of this. I want out of here."
    Bender: "You crazy? This place is great! Electro shock whenever you want it, two Lincolns for every Napoleon. Ah, sweet light crude"
    (download 38kb)
  12. Victor: "The doctor says you are making great strides with your exploding problem."
    Malfunctioning Eddie: "Well the way I se..." *boom*
    (download 24kb)
  13. Fry: "Help me! For god's sake! Help me!"
    Professor: "Oh don't worry Fry. I too once spent a nightmarish time in a robot asylum, but now it's nearly over. So long!"
    (download 35kb)
  14. DoctorBot: "You are being released."
    Fry: "Finally, sweet justice, sweet juicy justice!"
    DoctorBot: "Not you, him."
    Malfunctioning Eddie: "Me? What a surprise!" *puff* "Look I barely exploded at all."
    DoctorBot: "We can control that with medication."
    (download 60kb)
  15. Roberto: "Now stand back, I gotta practice my stabbing."
    Fry: "No please, help stop it! police!"
    Bender: "Ey keep it down in there, I'm tuning my banjo"
    Roberto: "Geez, Red, quit cowering. You call yourself a robot?"
    Fry: "I'm not a robot.I'M NOT A ROBOT"
    Roberto: "Uhahahaaaa"
    (download 80kb)
  16. Zoidberg: "Listen to me, Fry. Just because you think you're a robot doesn't make you a robot. After all, I think I'm a doctor but that doesn't make me a doctor. These fancy clothes do."
    Fry: "Negative. I must be a robot. Why else would human women refuse to date me?"
    Leela: "Oh...lots of reasons."
    (download 49kb)
  17. Roberto: "Hey Bender!"
    Bender: "Roberto! What a surprise to see you in here! That's because I didn't squeal on you, remember? Remember all that squealing I didn't do? Remember, do ya?"
    Roberto: "Yeah, yeah. Now lie down and play dead - and don't ham it up."
    Bender: "Uh, sure. Anything for you, buddy!"
    (download 51kb)
  18. Bender: "What's with the getup?"
    Roberto: "I'm in disguise cause I'm thinking of escaping. You in? Or do I gotta kill you so you don't squeal?"
    Bender: "I'm in, I'm in! So, where were you planning the breakout?"
    Roberto: "I'm thinking...maybe a few seconds ago."
    (download 41kb)
  19. Fry: "Fear not, for I shall assist ye!"
    Hermes: "Robots don't say 'ye'!"
    Fry: "Relax, mammal! My robotic software shall meet your calculatory needs. What is the meaning of this symbol?"
    Hermes: "That's a plus sign, you pointy-haired loony! Quit thinking you're a robot!"
    Fry: "I'll show ye!"
    (download 56kb)
  20. Leela: "I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can."
    Professor: "You're going to do his laundry?" *slap*
    Leela: "Fry, this is for you." *kisses him*
    Fry: "Beep."
    Leela: "Oh, for God's sake!"
    (download 69kb)
  21. Zoidberg: "But a scallop's forelocks! What's with all the beer, Fry?"
    Fry: "Alcohol fuels my power cells. And as a mighty robot, I..." *belches and collapses* "Beep!" *snore*
    (download 38kb)
  22. Roberto: "Hands up! This is a stickup again!"
    Bender: "Wow, hitting the same place three times? I admire your style, Roberto."
    Roberto: "Gimme the remaining dough. And all the calendars. And that pen! Try to tear it so most of the beads are on my end!"
    (download 41kb)
  23. Amy: "Aww...he looks like a little insane drunken angel."
    (download 12kb)
  24. Roberto: "Back off, I got hostages!"
    Zoidberg: "Hooray, I'm helping!"
    Police: "Do you have any better hostages?"
    Roberto: "To show them who's crazy, I'll execute some of you. How 'bout you?"
    Professor: "Ouch! That's going to bleed when my heart beats."
    Leela: "Wait! Take me first!"
    Bender: "Yes! Take her first."
    Roberto: "Shut up! Stop telling me how to do this!"
    (download 62kb)
  25. Roberto: "I'm gonna kill you, no-good fifty-sixing..."
    Bender: "Don't kill me yet! I'm starting to come down with Stockholm symdrome!"
    (download 38kb)
  26. Fry: "I am a battledroid, sworn to protect the weak from crazy robots."
    Roberto: "I'm not crazy. Don't call me crazy! I'm just not user-friendly!"
    Hermes: "Fry, don't be a hero! It's not covered by the health plan!"
    (download 34kb)
  27. Robot Officer: "Hey, baby. Wash that off before you put it back."
    (download 11kb)
  28. Bender: "But inside, you've got the heart of a robot."
    Fry: "Aww...thanks, Bender."
    Bender: "Just like inside me, I've got the heart of a human!" *takes a human heart from his chest compartment and shows it to the others, to their shock and horror* "What?"
    (download 41kb)

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